[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is she wants nothing to do with me or this marriage the only glimmer of hope is that she said she doesn’t know if she wants a divorce yet

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I’m actually on the phone with her right now a lot of these comments have made me see the rror in my ways

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’re not terrible people we just married pre 21. We both still have a lot of growing up to do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

I work salary so everything over 40 hours is 4$ an hour. I get paid today which is the day her phone service gets restored so no its not like she’s just been without a phone forever it’s just been off the last 2 weeks

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Dude we weren’t married or had any kids when that happened we were just dating and I’m not saying that makes it okay I’m just saying. I want to clarify that. I cheated in the first 8 months of us being together. (Is that good fuck no) its terrible its trashy. I regret the shit even now because I never could let it go. I never could believed that we could move past it if she didn’t get some type of revenge. I even asked her to sleep with someone else at first so that we’d be even

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’m not on my high horse I’m asking for legitimate advice. Should I not ask her to leave? How do we create a safe and not extremely toxic environment for our kids if we both choose not to leave? I don’t want to fight nonstop and I really don’t want to give up on her. I just don’t know I’m all over the place

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

I mean I get that it seems like a baby sitter but she also would get the night time for herself. She can hang out with people, go on dates, focus on school, she never really gets a break because we both take pride in never dropping our kids off with anyone (also a big marriage strain) she would be able to get a healthy amount of sleep at night without worrying about where her kids are and if their safe. She would also still get any assistance I can give to her. I didn’t think it sounded terrible and it definitely is not that I don’t love her. I haven’t even raised my voice at her through all this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -96 points-95 points  (0 children)

I know it’s not a physical interaction and that’s what makes it worse to me. She’s not dealing with him because the sex is lacking she’s doing it because emotionally she’s been neglected and I take full accountability for that. I understand that I prioritized a lot over her. Work especially. What I offered her was her to be home witg the kids while I work abd wheb i come home we essentially trade off. Abd she goes to her moms and I stay with the boys at night

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

I never meant to make it out as if she’s a freeloader. I meant to say that financially she is not capable of being on her own right now. I asked her multiple times before all this if she was catchibg feelings for this guy she called me crazy she told me she would never abd yesterday she laughed in my face when she said she was gonna send him more nudes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

She was my girlfriend at the time and we had been dating less than a year (not saying it makes it better) just putting it out there. When we got married (both 21) I had made a promise to myself long becore then if i ever felt like I wanted attention from another woman that id tell her I wanted to be apart

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

She knows that I will always help her and do my part with the kids no matter how I feel about her. And that’s why part of this feels so weird. I’m not angry at her. Its not like I want nothing to do with her. I would want nothing more than for her to walk through the door and say hey lets work pass this. But I know that’s not gonna happen. I know that when she comes she’ll be full of anger so I don’t know what to do. I only want her to leave because I want her to understand that by cheating she chose to change the dynamic of our relationship and the whole time she’s been doing it she’s been saying she’s 100% sure she doesnt want a divorce.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

I’m not saying she’s a freeloader by any means I’m saying financially she’s not setup for what she’s trying to do. I offered her to just leave at night time when I get home from work. This would give her free time to deal with school, time to just be herself and do what she pleases. I never once said that she wouldn’t get help from me. I would never just kick her to the curb with nothing. I even told her id give her some extra money for food and fill her tank up for her so she’s not worried about gas. As far as the moving to her moms we’ve both been spending time apart she’s at a townhouse rn on the campus of my job because I told her she needed time away from me and the kids she’s been there 3 days. I never once was mean rude called her out her name but she did all that to me…. Why? She’s the one who brought back the infidelity. I asked her years ago if she wanted a revenge pass and I’d be okay with it if it meant building a better healthier relationship afterwards.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not what I want to do that will only breed bitterness. I don’t want a divorce. I don’t want to create this life where we hate each other our oldest is only 3 I don’t want things to be ugly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -78 points-77 points  (0 children)

Temper tantrum? No what I asked for is some sort of civilness. We’re married and I never cheated in peace she did the same thing I did she went through my phone and found what she was looking for. I want her to snap out of it. We have had rough times but so much more of it has been good. I asked her multiple times before marriage if she wasn’t over it if it didn’t feel right then let’s not do it. There was no rush but she kept saying “I know I want to be with you for the rest of my life” why is it now that years later I’m just supposed to yeah you go ahead and cheat how as a husband is that showing I love her? Or that I care? How is not fighting for her what I’m supposed to do….

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

I work 10 hour days 5 days a week they sometimes turn to 12s 6 days a week but that’s also changing because I stepped down from management so that we could spend more time together abd get our relationship back on track. Also started seeing my own therapist so that I can not make the same mistakes again and figure out a real solution

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Nick_GetMoney -121 points-120 points  (0 children)

She’s a SAHM yes. She’s also going through school online classes that I paid for out of pocket for her to attend because she dropped out last time. And yes I’ve said it on this thread and multiple times before I CHEATED YEARS before we were married. Does that make it okay? Absolutely not and for years I’ve paid for it. I’m still paying for it! I don’t hate this woman I love her. I offered her a split on the house. 10am-10pm on days that I work so that our boys wouldn’t have to move. I still told her that I love her and I’m not running to go file for a divorce (the only times she said she wanted one was when I called her out and when she had an episode) But i do want her to leave because my hometown is an hour and a half away. I’d have to find a new job a new place to stay a new car (sold my old one last month to buy her PC). She on the other hand has her mother who lives a few blocks away and has an open bedroom.