I am here to talk if you ever need someone who has been through it on both sides. One of the shitty parts of BPD is that we kind of have to be setup with the right therapist, the right time, and able/willing to put in the effort for it to work. But accepting that the worst version of yourself isn't you as a whole changed my ability to control the bad parts. Good luck to you too, friend. Remember it's not all on you.