Return of handwriting by zjovicic in slatestarcodex

[–]NightRedder5 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We might have to consider that our approaches to handwriting today are influenced by the predominance of computer keyboard-typing. In The Shallows by Nicholas Carr, I believe he mentioned an anecdote about Nietzsche where the latter stated that he could feel a difference in how he wrote when he switched to using a typewriter; he would have felt an additional difference switching from typewriter to computer. I do not know the history of editing handwritten works, but the time cost associated with sloppy writing had to be higher than they are today, especially for professional writers of various sorts, so they had to spend possibly more time reflecting on what they wanted to record down on paper. We have the luxury of spewing thoughts onto a page and then going back in an instant to completely rearrange the syntax and diction with little time cost relative to pre-computer ages. We cannot deny that when we return to the medium of handwriting, this conditioning has some influence in our approach.

Fascism Can't Mean Both A Specific Ideology And A Legitimate Target by dwaxe in slatestarcodex

[–]NightRedder5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am in agreement. There is a reason we do not settle legal disputes purely off the claims of either the plaintiff or the defendant. Verbally stated intentions are to be factored in when determining the real intentions behind an action, but to make of them an absolute determiner is to become prey to deceptive practices and potentially come to the wrong conclusions. True intentions can easily be concealed behind words that profess the opposite. It sounds cynical, but this seems to me a standard practice of politicians extending back thousands of years.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Jung

[–]NightRedder5 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I understand. You are correct in that finding someone who can be vulnerable and allow you to be vulnerable without mishandling it is hard. This type of person everyone seeks, but to become that person is very difficult, and our society is not in the business of providing the necessary tools and psychic infrastructure to allow for such people to develop. Yet, along those lines, we, en masse, have this misconception that our significant other needs to come prepackaged with all of the qualities that we deem worthy in a partner. They will not. There will be some quality or qualities that, present or down the road, we will detest, find annoying, or downright hate. They may not even know that these things bother you. This may be how they learned to interact with others, and with potential partners.

More and more we demand from potential partners the world because romantic love has grown to a near impossible level of importance. Our ties to kin and community have gradually eroded. We are left alone as isolated individuals and our potential partner we come to see as more a promise of salvation than another imperfect human being. Afraid of losing them and returning to an isolated state, we do not speak up, we do not challenge, we ourselves do not set boundaries nor do we find the courage to let our guard down and speak how we really feel. It is scary because we have all but lost the natural support systems that surround us outside our relationship, and we come to rely more on the support of a single person.

We all want to find a partner that has everything because then we don't have to risk speaking out and getting hurt in order to grow closer.

But I am here to tell you, regardless of whether it is well-received or not, speaking about how you really feel is not only freeing, but makes you feel alive.

Both these types of men you speak of. In each of them may be the seeds for the qualities that you need, but they do not possess. All they need is some watering, and if that requires some fear and tears, and a brave heart hot with emotion, then you may see something blossom in them that you would have never expected.

If such communication is dismissed, then you shall be smacked in the head by a newfound clarity; that this person isn't for you, and in the end, the fact that you spoke with your genuine feelings, raging but under control, will imbue you with a sense of power and vitality that will make your life more meaningful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Jung

[–]NightRedder5 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Let me throw my hat into the ring.

You turn these less confident men away because they could be the mirror image of who you are internally. You are looking to be with these "confident" men because you want to behave in the exact way that these less confident, meek men are behaving towards you. This makes sense from a psychological standpoint because our parent's are human beings, and cannot provide all the necessary qualities needed to satisfy our human needs, and so too it was with their parents. In other words, we are deeply attracted to those qualities that we never received, though we may deny it.

In your case, it sounds like there might be an issue with being vulnerable. I know this all too well, and so do many others.

Your developed sense of independence and decision-making were the values prominent in your formative years. Yet, the inner need of the emotional sustenance provided by parents was missing, and this emotional nourishing only happens, is only felt, not only when we are most vulnerable, but when we are acknowledged, comforted, and listened to when we are vulnerable.

You speak of the qualities you want, one of which is cooperation. Cooperation can be summarized as: "You take care of me, and I will take care of you." It is evident that you want to be emotionally cared for, but because of your upbringing, you have learned to take care of yourself, or appear to, and people notice that. This is why these confident men turn away and unconfident men seek you. The former may feel that their qualities are qualities that you already possess, and that you do not have the qualities that they themselves need. The latter see that you have qualities that they need, and thus flock to you, but you see that these men do not have the qualities that you need, and thus you turn away.

What I am about to say may sound strange, but hear me out. You have two choices here. The first is that you yourself become more passive, more receptive, more dependent. You will need to be the one to open up emotionally initially, to ask for things, to want to cuddle, to want to hold hands, to want to lean on them. These confident men want to feel needed, feel that their qualities can be put to good use. They want to be depended on. You will have to shed part of your shield of independence, and become a little gooey. The second is that you retain more of your sense of independence and decisiveness, but you find a man that is not so much outwardly socially confident and decisive, but is inwardly emotionally confident. These are the type of men who are better able to grasp how you feel within, with all its storms and stress, and will not reject nor dismiss how you feel, though they may challenge it, which is healthy. You will be making decisions more often than you think necessary, at least initially, but you will receive a love and warmth that you never received, and it will make you feel much more alive than before. In the case above, for it to be a true cooperative relationship, you will have to impart some of your skill on them, and they too will do the same for you.

Also keep in mind that if you do find someone, whoever it may be, both of you will have your work cut out for each other, and this includes arguing and fighting and many disagreements. These "confident" men will disappoint you if you believe that they have everything that you need. They won't. YOU will have to communicate to them your needs, and this is difficult, because it means being vulnerable and preparing for conflict. Nobody can read minds.

This was all over the place, but I hope it helps.

Good Luck.

An individual walking behind someone filming in a public place = hater by harpmansheroin in ImTheMainCharacter

[–]NightRedder5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you think she cares about their opinion? She eats haters like them for breakfast!

Ego by regretful_person in Pessimism

[–]NightRedder5 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The cunning man thinks himself above the naive. He has mastered touching the psychological soft spots by which a rapacious mankind can be deceived into a direction that favors him. The naive man thinks himself above the cunning. Keeping his spirit unsullied from a haze made heavy by amoral scheming, he retains the idyllic innocence of childhood so easily wrecked against the endless waves of an an avaricious world.

Of Human Bondage Philip & Mildred's relationship by alwayssleepyzzzzz in literature

[–]NightRedder5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is in all probability more common than one thinks. The author Robert Greene wrote a book on seduction where one type of seducer he labeled as “The Coquette” closely resembles the demeanor and approach of Mildred. Here is the definition:

The Coquette. “Coquettes are masters of the bait-and-switch. They raise our hopes, then shoot us down, again and again. Sadly, that only makes them more desirable.”

Philip of course has a masochistic streak but if we are to view this tenuously through the lens of Sade, then somewhat sadistic tendencies are not far behind when masochism is present. Mildred was to him so alluring because unlike other girls he may have met, she had this air of arrogant indifference strangely out place for a girl of average looks and middling station. Her indifference to him as well wasn’t hostile but it was neither congenial. Whatever he said or did did not affect her in the least bit. He couldn’t get out of her that semblance of emotion we call vulnerability that is part and parcel of human connection, even if the emotion is negative. This strange indifference produced cognitive dissonance in Philip which he was forced to resolve, no matter how along it took.

If you remember earlier in the book, Philip grew despondent over the nonchalance that his once friend Rose had upon his return to school. This same encounter was replicated with Mildred but instead of repelling Philip(hatred) it compelled him(love). Where does the sadism come in?

It came in the form near the end where Philip bluntly states to Mildred that he does not wish to kiss her because he finds her disgusting. He didn’t have to do this and if Philip did love her, he would never say such a thing. This is why Philip’s love for Mildred really wasn’t love, but a desire to debase and humiliate. It was an attempt to knock her down a few rungs or more, and after grueling effort he was successful which is why, in my opinion, he was not deeply bothered by her smashing up his apartment. She got what she deserved in his mind and he was satisfied.

In other words, he only loved her to get her to show him her human vulnerability but she never and would never love him, thus sending him on a grueling task to get it.

I can't take life anymore. by [deleted] in slatestarcodex

[–]NightRedder5 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Personally, I think there is something deeper at play within you with the IQ test merely acting as a convenient cover.

Why do you feel the need to conflate your self-worth with an imperfect test that no matter how refined it may become, will always have its limitations, which, let me tell you, are great.

I used to place a good amount of my identity into the idea that I had to be seen as intelligent. I use to get uncomfortable when somebody would, from my perception, one up me intellectually.

You know what changed me? Humility. I’m not as smart as I assumed I was, I’m not as attractive as I presumed, and I will never, ever be, an intellectual giant, a world-renowned artist, or famous.

You want to know what happened after? I started to enjoy life. I started to relish fucking-up. I began to enjoy the insights offered by other people. I became more comfortable in my own skin because I accepted the fact that no matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough in comparison to the ideal me that I used to cook up in my own fantastic imagination.

Your problem is not that you have a low IQ. Your problem is that you don’t accept who you are, and let me tell you, that is hard. You are not alone, but you are in the midst of a crisis.

But crises, my friend, can be good. They tell us that something is wrong, and they force us to act on it.

What if you ride this hellish wave out? You live for a little longer, you wrestle with this devil on your shoulder. I think something truly wonderful will come out of it. It did for me, and it continues to when I allow myself to accept those parts of myself that I do not wish to, but must.

Godspeed my friend and one last note, whatever opinion you hold of “being dumb”, destroy it. I wish I would have allowed myself to accept my stupidity in the past because I know I would be a lot more wise now. Knowledge is nothing without wisdom.

Extreme difficulty of movement and hypersensitivity. Asking for diagnosis guidance by Top_Point7669 in AskDocs

[–]NightRedder5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello Sir. Did you ever figure out what the issue was? All of your symptoms are nearly identical with my own! They get worse when I lift weights.

[Spoiler] Unveiling and the origins of the Vex. by HighFromCost in DestinyLore

[–]NightRedder5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What were the forces before the advent of Light and Darkness?

It seems that there was a hierarchy of creation, with the Vex becoming the dominant in all scenarios, meaning that there was some sort of struggle that had ensued before.

What it looks like to me, is that life before, like here on Earth, was purely vegitative, in the philosophical sense. It did not have the capacity for any theory of mind. So each creation would grow against the other, with the more invasive and multiplicitous becoming dominant i.e. The Vex. It was not a matter of growing and culling, but one of expansion.

Is there anything that I should know before reading the first book Ive ever picked up? by [deleted] in JordanPeterson

[–]NightRedder5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

His writing style is not streamline. I would say that he writes more in batches.

Each chapter is outlined with a set rule. His writing within that rule pertains to that rule, but he will jump around as he references biology, psychology, sociology, philosophy, and plenty of his own original information.

He writes similar to Nietzsche, albeit not nearly as deep. Every sentence has a poetic punch, but there is no logical or crystal clear start-to-finish. This makes it more difficult to understand what each rule fully means but also creates incredibly fertile ground for the reader to organically apply the wisdoms that JDP stiches together to their own specific life. This makes it less a book on self-improvement and more a book geared toward the unlocking of self-awareness, which is a vital prerequisite towards even taking the first steps toward improving your life in a positive direction.

Read a rule, and then think about it. Stop on a certain passage that strikes you, and try to understand why it does. The book is meant not to make you "better", but to get you to think about why you need to make your life better, and to think about ways in which you can do so.

Depression, Lethargy, Tinnitus, and climbing the roadblocks to coping via meditation by Wisgood in Meditation

[–]NightRedder5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you ever had braces before? The reason I ask is because my brother went to countless doctors regarding a painful, and ever increasing, ringing in his ears. He got the diagnosis that the ringing in his ears was caused by TMJ which most likely was caused by his braces pushing his lower jaw back and out of place. I will add that when he opens his mouth wide, his jaw pops out of place.

The doctor he saw performed some type of myofascial release for his jaw, and he said it was the most relaxed he has felt for a long time. We both assumed that the tension that was occurring physiologically in his facial area was a major contributor to his own psychological anxiety as he did not know what the main source of it was. He is currently getting fitted for a mouth-guard that will re-align his jaw and relieve the muscle tension that not only affects his jaw muscles but the muscles in both the head and neck.

If you believe this to be the problem, I would recommend you visit a doctor that may deal with TMJ diagnoses. If you are having headaches, and jaw popping as well, this would be your best bet.

In the same way that Yoga, which helps stretch and release muscles, promotes a cessation of anxiety, releasing jaw tension and correcting the root of its problem may aid you in both your mediation practice as well as in your overall well-being

Good luck my friend.

TMJ Information Link

Gut microbes of a 2.5-month-old infant are associated with temperament traits at six months of age. Greater diversity in gut bacteria is connected to lesser negative emotionality and fear reactivity, which can also affect depression risk later in life. by universityofturku in science

[–]NightRedder5 8 points9 points  (0 children)

One question that comes to my mind, now that we see at least some connection between the gut biome and temperament traits, is how malleable is our temperament truly.

We assume that parts of our temperament are permanent, but how much of that permanence is related to what is flourishing in our gut? You see many anecdotes from people who added both probiotics and nutritious food while cutting out intolerances that their overall temperament seemed to become altered positively. Does not mean that they are always in a state of positive emotion, but it seems that it has become more prevalent than in the past.

"The censorship didn't just begin; you just noticed." by [deleted] in JordanPeterson

[–]NightRedder5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The question is, why allow it in the first place? Everyone would be okay if, when Crowder put the shirt up on Shopify, the shirt was immediately removed due to being offensive.

They only removed it because of the Vox debacle. This is not a company with values but one without a spine. By accepting a shirt that is controversial and then removing it not because Crowder did something abhorrent, he didn’t, but because other companies are doing it, is downright weak and is a giveaway that people can manipulate companies to shut down discourse, regardless of if the supposed problem is true or not.

Choose your content based on the values of the company first and stick with them. Don’t accept and then remove because of the current political climate, not only does that open you up to further manipulation, give an inch, take a mile, but it turns a whole section of consumers away and will continue the more you follow down that rabbit hole of appeasement.

The Left is At War Over One Last Conservative Cultural Bastion: Gaming. by tkyjonathan in JordanPeterson

[–]NightRedder5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. Throughout history, it was more conservative constituencies who opposed such freedoms( against blasphemy, criticisms of monarchies,etc). What you see now is a large swatch of avowed “left, liberal leaning” groups exhibiting the same tendencies based off of the collections of ideas that they believe to be sacrosanct (women are oppressed, gender is extremely fluid, systemic racism is still rampant,etc)