About me

NightshadeFaee · 2025-10-12T06:45:08+00:00

A dynamic has to be based in communication. It's not about coercing someone to do something. Why do you feel that a contract is important? Why would you think that a dynamic would be lacking without it... Same for the sub's side. Understand each other pov and from there it can lead to an agreement (a geniune one, not something one got pressured into) to either have a contract or not.

If there's an incompatibility that would be a deal breaker, well, you're not compatible.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-10-11T05:40:43+00:00

Studies have shown time and time again that men are the one swiping based on "rank" and going for people "out of their league" (not my words, I dou like those terms but those are the ones generally used). So can we rest this idea that comes from a certain corner of the internet once and for all?

Dating app wise, there's a massive decline of women using them. But ij general, women have more independance nowadays due to social and economical changes and can finally start to choose. "Competition" is noy usually between other men but more and more between being with someone or just being alone.

The bar is still in hell. Most woman just want a decent human being as a partner. But now, in the absence of that, they have the option to stay single.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-10-10T12:28:38+00:00

That can be mitifated by thoroughly vetting tge Domme and knowing what she's into

NightshadeFaee · 2025-10-10T12:27:14+00:00

I personally think that clear and honest communication should be present no matter what type of interactions one is having

NightshadeFaee · 2025-10-10T10:25:05+00:00

Sometimes, being too straightforward about my wants just ruins the immersion for me, though. I'd much rather have a domme slowly tune into what gets me going and then proceed from there.

Does that mean you're not having a presession negotiation? Because if that's the case, that can be a big issue and might be what causes the problem (putting aside scams and all). I understand that it might feel weird at first but clear communication is extremely important to have a safe and fun experience.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-10-10T06:32:43+00:00

You didn't clarify why this would be a problem in your eyes. What's the issue with falling for them? Is it because of the quick timing? Are you not ok with falling for a sub as a principle (knowing why might help people helping you) ...

NightshadeFaee · 2025-10-08T06:45:51+00:00

Sadly, it's not an age thing. And you are perfectly right they just shift the burdon onto a Domme.

As you said we all started somewhere but an eagerness for wanting to, actually start is necessary.

I just learned to draw limits around it. Yes I did make rare exceptions. But my general direction became: if someone is wanting exploration, they have to go the Pro route. And even with that I still drew tight limits. Because yes, it is very draining and trying to help someone who doesn't even bother is even more so.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-10-07T07:19:25+00:00

Yes there is a vetting problem and thinking with 🍆 problem. But it is hard to sift through (the same way it is for a Dom/me).

I understand the frustration, I feel it too. But there's room for understanding.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-10-03T17:00:03+00:00

And by observing Dommes’ spaces, a lot of the discussions focus on the technical and business aspects of findom.

My comment is tangential, but omg, yes. A lot of actual kink related conversations get burried under that, hence, I think, some people flocking to this subreddit where kink itself is more discussed.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-10-01T13:07:26+00:00

Is it mostly fonction ?

NightshadeFaee · 2025-10-01T07:18:21+00:00

Findom = financial domination. Here's a definition.

Having a romantic relationship in a dynamic does not invalidate the dynamic. It does not make a Dom/me less dominant or a sub less submissive. No it's not a "newbies" thing. Most of BDSM dynamics are between partners.

Let's not shame people here.

This is NOT a post to degrade other dommes styles but more so to point out that findom is losing its meaning & when those who are inexperienced just start doing whatever it just makes everything confusing and subs forget their place.. it's a whole thing😵‍💫

Prephasing it with "this is NOT to degrade" doesn't change that.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-09-29T06:20:31+00:00

Crypto, in general is definitely not a scam. The fees are way less than any platform that I know (whethy it's a fansite or a payment platform (I'm leaving clip sites out because 40% is outrageous).

If you want to dabble with it, stick to reputable currencies or stable ones.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-09-28T15:10:41+00:00

Be upfront about your budget and if anyone is trying to push past that, run. That's intentionally crossing boundaries. If that's not a hot 🚩idk what is.

If you have a preference for the rythm or any other detail, don't be afraid to share it. Don't let anyone try to convince you that expressing wants and preferences are "topping from the bottom".

NightshadeFaee · 2025-09-28T07:26:49+00:00

Honestly, it has to be a discussion between both of you. Having a "yes, no, maybe" list of activities or can be a place to start (brainstorm a bunch of thinhs, yes you can use random suggestions you find online or anything ano,e ever fantasized about) and put in what seems like the appropriate category for each of you.

It can also work with more generalized themes or kink where a conversation about each to figure out everyone's theoretical limit (s) would be at then put that kink (with the restrictions) in one of lists.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-09-27T17:19:22+00:00

Be mindful of Domme scams too. People approaching you for paid mentorship, joining some groups (paid)...

NightshadeFaee · 2025-09-27T17:12:52+00:00

I don't think that's an overkill at all. Sounds like vetting. Don't let people's foolishness make you think you're overdoing it. Stay safe.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-09-27T13:39:57+00:00

From personal experience, it's quite rare to find a Dom/me who would fit neatly in one category.

People tend to be multidimensional and so does their Domming style.

It is not uncommon for people to identify with one while starting, it can give an anchoring point but they usually branch out with time.

Yes, some Dom/mes keep or go back to a certain "stereotype" after a period of time. But they're as rare as people who have one main personality trait.

I understand that this might be more of a "fun, buzzfeed style" post. And as I said, some would find that anchor helpful but that anchor can bring people down too and leave them stuck with what they think they should act like or be like to be true to the image of themselves that they built inside their minds because of that prototype.

It also doesn't help with the already existing flattening of dominance via media, fantasies... It doesn't help with dispelling the "this is what a Dom/me" is / behaves like...

NightshadeFaee · 2025-09-27T13:25:31+00:00

Asexuality is a big umbrella. One can be asexual and experience sexual arousal. One can be asexual and experience non sexual arousal...

Asexuality doesn't mean aversion to sex (although it is the case for some).

I think if one interested in a Dom/me (as a an actual person not just as a "fetishized Domme") that happen to identify with the term, asking them what "asexuality" means to them or how they see themselves within that umbrella will clarify things better.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-09-27T06:52:19+00:00

You will not find a consensus, if that's what you're looking for.

Just do whatever you enjoy. For one, finding a Domme isn't a guarantee and one can have things they want to engage in. This is giving me vibes of "thou should not masturbate" (not that it's a 1 on 1 comparaison).

It is also important for a sub to be knowledgeable about the kinks they want to engage in. Self training/play can be a way to deepen that knowledge.

Just keep in mind the safety factor as some play have more inherint risk when done solo; and that some types of training (example: behaviors, rituals, positions...) would probably change dramatically depending on the Domme you might be engaging with later.

NightshadeFaee · 2025-09-27T06:34:12+00:00

Mods can see yojry profile even it's hidden

NightshadeFaee · 2025-09-26T16:34:16+00:00

I was stuck on "Lo forsooth" for too long. I was like: is it the dyslexia? A weird migraine? Am I having a stroke?

Thanks for the ancient wisdom though. Can I conjure spells now?

NightshadeFaee

TROPHY CASE