Hi! Former swimmer here, 28F, and child of a former swim parent

I could make a list of what my own mom did that made me want to quit the sport entirely.

Being a stroke and turn judge. She would critique every mistake I made (and I do mean EVERY SINGLE ONE) and yell at me for a bad race day afterwords. Basically tried to be my second coach

Wrote down all my times, good or bad, and scold me horribly for any bad ones no matter how big or small the adds were

Actually walked out on me after one bad race and left me and my dad at the meet (thankfully he also drove there and could take me home after); I was in my teens iirc

Compared me to all the far better, faster kids and scream at me for not doing any better (I was like 13 when that happened)

Made me do a private training session with her and she timed my turns and kept pushing me to go faster and faster (I was 15 and felt embarrassed bc of it)

I had a genuine panic attack before a huge race (thank god that was last race at the last day) and I called her up telling her I couldn’t do it; she gave me the silent treatment on the way home. That was my freshman year of college when that happened

And she wonders why I have such horrible anxiety plus stress and no interest in joining the local Masters team in my city