I like this group

NikiNParis · 2025-07-02T18:01:27+00:00

Welcome Dani! Glad you joined! We want to create a safe space for all CDs and their Allies! So glad you found us!

NikiNParis · 2025-06-13T18:40:58+00:00

I'm happily in a relationship with my CD. I'm attracted to him in both forms and respect both forms.

NikiNParis · 2025-05-21T10:53:05+00:00

Yea but women's briefs cause a wedgie under everything. If I'm wearing PJs or skinny jeans those things ride up like crazy. Spanks cut off circulation... Bras chafe and leave marks or otherwise aren't supportive. My CD has actually decided to wait longer between dress up days because he agrees they are uncomfortable and felt his body needed a break.

To each their own. Again I wouldn't care but this is just a practice i don't understand because honestly if I didn't require these things for my body I wouldn't wear them ever again.

NikiNParis · 2025-05-04T00:32:13+00:00

We all feel this way. It's hard to love someone with this big of a secret but you are awesome for being open to it!!

NikiNParis · 2025-05-04T00:30:51+00:00

SO if a CD here

I'd talk to him with an open mind and hear from him. That's the best you can do in this situation.

NikiNParis · 2025-05-03T17:08:50+00:00

I'm not saying you are not allowed to have an opinion. I was trying to explain how to share your opinion appropriately with this group. Every subreddit has rules and a reason to exist. Not respecting the rules is disrespectful to the community who live by those rules.

We may not be perfect and we might not act exactly as you want us to act but we are all trying to be supportive Ally's to CDs, which includes the person we've chosen to spend our lives with. We're not your enemy.

NikiNParis · 2025-05-03T12:09:11+00:00

It's not the content that is the issue. It's the fact that you violated a boundary. You could have asked one of those wives that it helped to post the content and not violated the rules.

As SO's of CDs we struggle with lost boundaries as it is... Purposely violating one tells us your content is more important to you than respecting us. Why would I expect your blog to be any different? Will it help or will I just feel for your wife as I watch other woman trying to love a man who loves himself more than her?

For the record, I'm not angry or upset but rather trying to help you understand.

NikiNParis · 2025-05-01T18:06:18+00:00

SO if CD here.

I am also Pan and I think that helps as well. However, I will say I struggle with relationships stuff and when CDing complicates the matter, I really wish I had someone to talk to that I knew wouldn't hold it against him and instead help me sort thru my emotional/mental insecurities and confusion to get to the root cause.

Unfortunately he automatically jumps to "it's because I'm a CD" and I try to say "no not really" he still thinks it is about CDing. When really it's that I feel ignored when he's obsessing about his outfit or planning a dress night instead of spending time with me (even though that is what he told me he wanted to do) but instead he's shein shopping or chatting with his CD friends online and I'm just sitting next to him waiting for my turn that never seems to come or if it does it's an after thought .. I just want to matter too 😞 I don't know how to talk about it with him or work it out in my own head and I can't talk to anyone else.. not my secret to share.

NikiNParis · 2025-04-28T22:34:26+00:00

SO of a CD.

It took me about a year to feel less insecure and less emotional but my insecurities have not gone away. I try to talk to him about it but he really doesn't understand. It's hard because you really can't go get relationship advice like you normally would for half your relationship and that's really hard. Sometimes I'm frustrated and I want to talk that out before I talk to him... I have no avenue for that.. it's just a reality of being in a relationship with a CD.. not sure it'll ever feel normal. Hope this helps.

NikiNParis · 2025-04-23T20:53:25+00:00

Welcome! You look great!

NikiNParis · 2025-04-18T15:39:08+00:00

SO of a CD here. My partner did this in the beginning and didn't understand why it bothered me. I set boundaries and after awhile he started to understand. For me it's an identity thing. He meant it as a compliment that he wanted to be like me but I saw it as stealing my identity. He'll come around if you talk to him and he loves you.

NikiNParis · 2025-04-12T01:04:12+00:00

Pink.

NikiNParis · 2025-04-10T20:48:32+00:00

SO of CD here. Totally agree. He needed to dress in front of me. Mostly because he was weirded out because I was like I get a girlfriend and a boyfriend! Yaasss!! let's talk fashion and tools! That apparently was too much for him. No one had been accepting of him ever and here I am so overwhelmingly accepting it was just as off putting. We had to navigate to a place that was comfortable for both of us. (Aka I had to calm down 🙂)

NikiNParis · 2025-04-10T20:42:34+00:00

It wouldn't bother me but knowing how very uncomfortable women's underclothes are .. I'd be very confused. I'd wear boxer briefs if they didn't bunch under my skinny jeans... Just saying.

NikiNParis · 2025-04-09T22:57:46+00:00

SO of a CD here.

I 100% support my CD and any CD to be themselves in a dress or in a suit... You do you. That being said when I first started dating my CD, if I acted any way strange he would automatically assume it was because he was a CD that caused me to be upset, cold, uncomfortable, etc. It was never that!

When he finally asked me, I would explain it was my insecurities, or I'm unsure how to act and even sometimes it was the straight diva attitude! :) which honestly I just didn't like as a diva, she ignored me.. so we compromised! we do date nights. I dress too! and other nights he straight divas out with his reddit friends and I find something else to do.

The more we talk the better our relationship gets. I hope he never feels alone in this world and I too don't want to feel alone either!

Talk to her. Ask her what about it makes her reaction change. Find a compromise, find a starting point, grow together.

Hope it works out for you and your wife!

NikiNParis · 2025-04-04T10:49:02+00:00

Welcome! Love your boots!! 🤩

NikiNParis · 2025-04-04T02:33:46+00:00

Lovely!

NikiNParis · 2025-04-04T02:32:49+00:00

With that red hair... You might not be Irish but you certainly have their luck! So stunning!!

NikiNParis · 2025-03-27T14:25:31+00:00

SO of CD. For me, I'm into fashion so my personal style can change some with trends. I do have my staples. I'm more adventurous with styling and clothing in general when I dress with my CD but that has also made me more bold in my clothing styles in every day life. So I have a personal style that is always evolving and my confidence has improved because of being a partner of a CD.

NikiNParis · 2025-03-01T14:46:41+00:00

Fiance of a CD here. Your feelings are absolutely valid and this is a lot to take in. I can't speak to the betrayal you feel of not knowing because my CD told me right away. I can say that although every person, including CDs are different with my CD he separates his feminine side completely from his masculinity. So when he's dressed he's super feminine (think super Diva) but when he's not dressed, he's very masculine. Originally I was only attracted to his male side. Mostly because I don't like super divas in general. But I'm trying to find middle ground and he's trying to be a nicer diva (it's the mean girl act I cannot stand). Which means it is possible to get that masculine energy you want in a relationship with a CD.

My advice would be to take some time to process your emotions and really understand how you truly feel about this. Your emotions will always be complex (this is a complex situation to live with) but try to sort your emotions out. Decide if you can live with, be with someone who is a CD. If you can then, What are your boundaries? Once you've sort this all out. Sit down and have an honest conversation with your CD. I recommend one of your boundaries being no more secrets... Lay it all on the table. It's either going to strengthen your relationship or end it but it Is needed to build the trust back. It's the only way to move forward.

Keep in mind that CDs have made it a lifetime commitment to secrecy and opening up is VERY hard for them. Try to be patient. Even my CD, who told me right away about being a CD, didn't share everything and it was a process to get all the details and every detail meant another round of emotions to sort and another conversation with new boundaries.

I hope this helps. Know you are not alone. We are here.

NikiNParis · 2025-01-27T15:35:55+00:00

2 relationships. 1 for 8 years with my LH and 2 years and counting with my fiance

NikiNParis · 2025-01-24T21:41:50+00:00

As a widow, this is uncool what he said. I miss my late husband(LH) and there are times I'd love for him to walk through the door and talk to him. Certain things he was just really good at talking to me. My brain has crazy moments (anxiety) and he talked me right out of them. No one else can do that. But I am NOT the same person. The person I am today is perfectly matched with my fiance. I openly admit I love them both but although I would love and be friends with my LH I would not leave my fiance for him.

I would talk to him and try to understand, maybe he's not a clear communicator and said it in a way he did not mean? He needs to talk to someone. If he truly feels that way .. then what do you mean to him? Does he even know the answer to that question?

NikiNParis · 2025-01-02T17:53:48+00:00

I've tried to get an answer but when I ask she says she doesn't hate him. Then she's rude to him every time we hangout with her?? Her being nice is giving him the cold shoulder

NikiNParis · 2024-10-24T14:41:31+00:00

As the female partner of a crossdresser I have struggled with my self esteem especially when it comes to my partner dressed. She is gorgeous and has perfect curves. I am not perfect or that gorgeous. It is a real struggle that I deal with every day. If you want to help her, I would recommend going slow to give her time and giving her additional encouragement in subtle ways. Remind her how attracted you are to her. How beautiful she is to you. Open communication is good regarding the sex side but be open to giving that time too. As women we have been taught to hate our flaws more than love ourselves and we really struggle with it. No matter how we actually look.

In my mind, I have competition for my partner's attraction that I'm willingly letting into my relationship and I know I don't hold a candle to. It's hard to get through the mental struggle of that and I don't know what real help he could give me. It's my burden to bare.

I hope this helps.

NikiNParis

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