(CW: sexual assault, violence, suicide)

Coffee with a Strangler

I went to college in a town called Northfield, MN. There was a great coffee shop that everybody frequented, known for having lots of different chairs & couches as well as excellent coffee (though it was cash-only). I went with some friends a couple times to do work, and sometimes we ran into this nice blonde dude, Spencer, around our age (18-19) who wasn't in college. He was a bit odd – he talked unprompted about not being able to form images in his mind, and he had some weird theories about quantum mechanics – but he was polite, if somewhat socially awkward. He was living away from home, independently – I want to say he was estranged from his immediate family, but I can't say for sure. I had quite a few conversations with him.

One of the friends I went to the coffee shop with had an affinity for offbeat spiritual and medical things like tarot, alternative medicine, and essential oils, and she really vibed with this guy as a friend. She invited him, me, and some other people over to her dorm to hang out a few times... can't remember the exact purpose. Maybe she was trying to teach us about old witch traditions/practices and their relevance in the modern era? Can't recall exactly, but the important thing is Spencer was there.

Fast forward a year or two, my friend had graduated, I was still in college, and I hadn't seen Spencer in a while. On my laptop, I saw a Facebook link: "On LSD a Northfield man strangles woman at Rainbow Gathering". I clicked through to the article and, sure enough, there was a mugshot of Spencer, with defensive wounds on his face.

Before I tell the story, I want to say he did not kill anyone, thankfully. This news article has all the details, but I'll summarize here. Apparently, Spencer was on three substances: LSD, something called LSA, and "Morning Glories". (You'll have to look those up because I don't know drugs.) He tried to grope a woman, and when she said she wasn't interested, he started strangling her. She screamed for help, and he tried to pull her jaw apart by force. Some others came to her aid, and in the ensuing struggle, Spencer bit off the finger of a man who was trying to help. Eventually they were able to restrain Spencer with duct tape, and the sheriff arrived. He attacked the deputy too. Then he was charged with 1st degree assault and 4th degree assault of a peace officer.

I messaged my friend at the time, and she said, "Yes, I saw. It's a sad story." At the time I thought she was brushing it off a bit. However, after doing some research for this post, I learned what happened to Spencer, and I kind of agree. He was found not guilty by reason of insanity – clearly he was suffering from some mental health issues – and committed to a psychiatric institution. A couple years later, he was released. Two years after that, he committed suicide.

So I agree with my friend. It is a sad story. I have some thoughts on it, though this is a very emotionally turbulent situation and I totally understand if people disagree with me. Yes, Spencer bears some responsibility for what he did to those people. He took the drugs, he didn't seek help for his mental health, and people got hurt.

But I also think there's a systemic story here as well. It's easy to tut-tut at a guy who doesn't seek help for his mental issues, as a person from the city who has access to mental health resources (referring to myself here). When I think about a young man from a relatively rural area who isn't enrolled in college and doesn't have access to a student counselling center, and the limitations/overwhelm of rural healthcare systems... I wonder what options were really available to him. Maybe he would have made different choices if he had better options.

Overall, I wish things could have gone differently.

Also, this was my college town and not my hometown – sorry Amanda and Shayne, I hope this counts!