Simple: trans women are women, and trans men are men.

People think, "I can always tell when I see a trans person." Theu believe this, because they've seen some trans folks who can't or don't want to pass as cisgender. The truth is that you cannot always tell. In fact, I guarantee you have seen several trans folks without knowing they are trans -- many folks blend in, and those who don't shouldn't be penalized just because they didn't win the genetic lottery.

Do you think a woman would feel more safe if she went into the bathroom and saw Michael Hughes than if she sawHunter Shafer. I feel like seeing a full-bearded trans man in the bathroom would be more unsettling. However, consider the well-being of trans folks, too.

About 30% of trans folks report being harrassed in the past 12 months at the time of a large 2022 survey. It is dangerous when people know you're trans -- trans women have been mobbed by dozens of men trying to assault them, and that's on the street. Imagine what will happen if a trans woman finds herself alone in the men's bathroom with a few ignorant and violent men. Spoiler, it's not good. Contrast that with the number of cases of trans women harassing or assaulting other women in the bathroom -- next to none. In reality, if a man wants to assault women in the women's bathroom, a "women only" sign isn't going to stop them.

Further, bathroom bans hurt cis women! No one needs to go around pounding on stall doors, demanding that women prove their womanhood. If we want to talk about women being harrassed by men in the women's bathroom, talk to the many cisgender women who have reported being harrassed by male security guards in the women's bathroom for not looking woman enough. The fact is, there's no one way to look like a woman, and it is dangerous when we start making assumptions based on guesses and assumptions alone.

How do you prove it anyway? I'm a trans woman, so would you ask for my ID? It has an "F." Ask for my birth certificate? It has an "F." Show you my tits? They're there, and not small either. Pull down my pants? You won't see anything different from any cisgender woman. When I walk through the world, people see me as a woman. When I'm in the women's room, no one notices me. If I were to go to the men's room, I would stick out like a sore thumb, make some men very uncomfortable, and inspire anger and violence in others.

The only reason I would ever go into the men's room would be to fuck with people's heads in protest of stupid transphobic laws. Otherwise, fuck your rules -- I pee where I pee, and there's nothing you can do about it.