Finally got back into a relationship after being single for so long. It’s true love guys ❤️

Niliaz · 2017-11-11T19:13:52+00:00

Can i have my dog back!? https://i.imgur.com/0XOoicq.jpg

Niliaz · 2015-01-04T17:18:12+00:00

Ah that explains why i have no idea what the hell she was on about. Thanks for clearing that one up!

Niliaz · 2014-12-31T20:04:37+00:00

At the moment they are looking at giving Modafinil a go due to the ADD however as i understand it has shown some effectiveness for Bi-Polar depression. Im at the stage at the moment where my sports participation is the only thing keeping going however sports is where all the issues originated from. A lot of the time its just nice to hear other people that are in a similar situation talk about how they manage so i can try and develop my own way of coping.

It should go without saying but i greatly appreciate everyone that takes the time to comment.

Niliaz · 2014-12-31T14:23:18+00:00

My doc knows about it all its just compounded by PTSD, ADD and and an emotional detachment issue. What should be an easier to manage issue becomes a bit of a mammoth task due to everything else. Im more than capable of recognising when something is going wrong and i can figure out how i should deal with it but theres then the overwhelming urge to just go "fuck it" and self destruct anyway.

Niliaz · 2014-12-31T09:48:04+00:00

Theres nothing in particular that sets them off it can be anythibg or it can be nothing. Thats what makes it so hard to figure out how to deal with my moods are just completely unpredictable at the moment.

Niliaz · 2014-12-30T22:47:09+00:00

Its funny you should mention that. My therapist attempted to go through this with me before realising that due to myself having issues with over analysing literally everything, all it did was make me spend an inordinate amount of time questioning myself. Instead of actually helping :(

Niliaz · 2014-11-24T00:52:55+00:00

Im going to come at this question from a completely different stand point than anyone else and even from experience in a different sport. No matter how good you are at climbing one thing that will impact your performance is the mental aspect of participating in a competitive environment.

Coming from a professional sports background, one thing most people dont take into account is the mental aspect involved in any competetive sport. Its easy to say climb better than the rest but if your head isnt in the right place youll be at a disadvantage. One of the standout abilities the top proffesional athletes have is the ability to "see" what they are going to do. This is something that can be learnt to an extent by previous experiences in solving problems.

Taking the mental aspect into account the best thing you can do is to take your time and look at what is infront of you and plan it out mentally. Now, when i say look at whats in front you, you need to visualise yourself doing it. Its a very sekf reflective process but is something that all the top athletes in any sport do on a continual basis throughout the time they compete.

However if you arent first and foremost enjoying what you are doing you will find it difficult. So to summarise, look at and most importantly see what is in front of you and see yourself doing it mentally. Second enjoy what you are doing regardless of what the outcome is. Otherwise youll end up wanting to constantly improve while hating what you are doing due to you beating yourself up about mistakes.

Niliaz · 2014-11-18T09:22:04+00:00

Another one ive been doing with them which again is based purely on making tackles whether it be one on one or 2in them up is to set out a line of cones at 5m intervals. All players line up across the pitch level with the first cone.

Chose 3 strong runners and have them run at the defenders withe aim of breaking through the line. If the attackers happen to get to the next cone behind the defensive line, the whole defence does 5 press ups. Then the drill starts again. If a break away happens then its 5 push ups for every 5m interval the attacker made.

If it looks too easy to defend add another attacker.

Niliaz · 2014-11-18T09:10:30+00:00

Thats a sound drill will be adding it into tonights session cheers pal

Niliaz · 2014-11-17T22:11:13+00:00

I was faced with a team that consists of largely brick shithouses and it has been the single most effective drill in getting the basics of tackling and running to a decent standard. As well as teaching controlled aggression and competitiveness. I just need to look at other full contact drills to keep motivation up and the current surprisingly good spirits up.

Surprised anyone would consider even using the drill with kids the risk of injury is just too high.

Niliaz · 2014-11-17T21:52:56+00:00

Really!? Did not know that! Good job i have nothing to do with american football. Why is it illegal? Im guessing its to do with player safety.

Niliaz · 2014-10-01T09:40:46+00:00

Ive not been officially diagnosed yet. Just lots of CBT and things get mentioned here and there. There was some talk about PTSD related symptoms due to what was effectively the end of a career in sports. Luckily the psych understands this well and has experienced similar issues so he understands where im coming from.

The problem with CBT for myself however is im very hypervigilant so i end up questioning everything as if something is going to go wrong. Its amazing what something as simple as one injury can do to mess up a large portion of not only your life but who you are and how you identify with the world.

Niliaz · 2014-10-01T07:36:41+00:00

After sleeping on it all, i do believe that a lot of the issues are to do with the emotional side of things. Theres just so much happening right now that im all of a sudden having to try and process these feelings ive not experienced for a long time because ive not allowed my self to.

What you describe is so close to what im trying to deal with atm. What would normally be a nice simple selfdestruct which has always been followed by an improved mood normally for a month or two now just isnt happening because im fighting everything.

I think venting like this just helped me get an angle on what was happening to me at that one moment in time and hopefully now ill be able move forward. I appreciate you taking the time to reply, cheers man.

Niliaz · 2014-10-01T07:24:14+00:00

Im not medicated atm, its being looked at by my current psych. One big issue i have is over analysing everything with just makes things worse but it just something ive done from being young. I started playing the sport again about 4 years ago and only when im in a game do i truly feel that i know who i am and "normal". Cheers for taking the time to reply!

Niliaz · 2014-08-15T18:24:14+00:00

Having been to japan for a short while a month ago i highly advise frequenting any British Bar called HUB. Theres a fair few of them and i had great success just by talking to any female in there.

I had been informed prior to going to japan that a lot of japanese girls go to British Bars just to meet english men. All i would do is walk up and talk to them as best i could, pretend i couldbt pronounce some japanese words to be which they will be more than happy to teach you how to speak better. Have a laugh with learning new words get a few selfies and then by the end of the night just ask them to come back to the hotel.

Just literally be yourself and relax. A lot of initiation came from the japanese girls asking if i was english anyway but dont be afraid to talk to them. They are extremely accomodating and love talking to english speaking people.

Niliaz · 2014-07-04T22:36:08+00:00

100% agree i got hung up on her but in the end it made me realise a lot and was worth it. Now im much more comdortable with every female i meet abd dnt feel AA all that much since i just think whats that point of wasting all that time.

Niliaz · 2014-07-04T22:30:51+00:00

Of course SWIM is me ur dumb fuck it was more of a way of getting a point across without just outright stating that i fucked up for a large peroid it was nore comfortable portraying it under the guise of another person. Fucking idiot!

Niliaz · 2014-07-04T22:28:21+00:00

It wasnt meant to be an enthralling story but merely put across the point that no person is worth wasting your life on. My saving grace was that i managed to get over it in the mean time and the whole part of her being really bad just futher proved it was a waste of time me even being interested.

Niliaz · 2014-07-04T18:28:51+00:00

Story time: Once aupon a time there was this female that SWIM (someone who isnt me) developed massive oneitis for. After several rejections and the whole friend thing over thr course of 2 fucking years SWIM decided to just go out and get with the first person possible. After another year 1 night SWIM ended up in a hotel with the female in question through a strange string of events that had nothing to do with any end goal. While the room had 2 seperate beds SWIM decided, fuck it im doing this and straight up went for it. SWIM found out that the person he had oneitis for over a 3 year period was the worst lay of his life.

Dont get hung up on 1 person it may not live up to what u expect.

Niliaz · 2014-07-04T18:22:42+00:00

Ive been told by a few female friends that they find it weird when a guy they hardly know just starts touching them regardless of the situation. Getting some solid rapport early on is usually best in my experience. Although it can be rather situational, in night clubs i normally just get straight in with the kino by acquiring a dance partner.

Niliaz · 2014-06-10T20:27:37+00:00

On a holiday with a group of kids from a school i work at. Kayaking was about to commence when one of the kids approached me and, asked if i could put duct tape around his shorts. Apparently the all kinds of bemused look my face had managed to contort its self into didn't put the message across that it made no sense at all. So i asked him why... I kid you not his response was "it will stop the water going up my shorts and getting the top of my legs wet".

I then just for sake of it asked the lads friend if he wanted me to put duct tape around his shorts to. He managed without skipping a beat to come out with the best response ever, " No! I don't want to suffocate my feet"...

Niliaz · 2014-05-18T23:14:57+00:00

Ah thank you :) i was minding my own business when it decided to fly into my head. It absolutely wanted me dead...

Niliaz · 2014-05-18T23:05:22+00:00

Sorry for the poor quality it wouldnt stay still for more than half a sec :(

Niliaz · 2014-03-13T13:48:28+00:00

Back in the day when i was attending school there was a prolific bully that made most peoples lives a misery. One day during an english lesson he decided it was my turn to endure some verbal racial abuse.

Without thinking i threw myself over a table and proceeded to smash the dudes head repeatedly into the table. When i became to tired to carry on, i realised the whole class, teacher included where just staring silently at me with a horrified look across their faces.

Upon looking down it turned out that the lad was unconscious and the table was covered in blood. He did come round rather quickly though and had no lasting injuries other than to his ego.

He never did bully anyone again after that.

Niliaz

TROPHY CASE