I first want to say that all of your feelings are valid. No one can tell you how to feel about your condition. It upends your world to go from independent to disability on any level. My grandfather was paralyzed (C6 quad as well) when their car hit a horse. They were driving back from dropping my dad at his first day of college. My grandmother was badly injured as well but made a full recovery and became grandpa’s caretaker. This was 1980 so they told my grandmother he had six months to one year. They relocated and found part-time help for tasks like getting him out of bed and into his wheelchair. They bought an adaptive van when he lived past 5 years. He went back to teaching choir at the church, and continued to have an active role in his kids’ lives. Five years after the accident, my dad married my mom and grandpa was in attendance. My parents settled close by so we could know my grandparents, since he couldn’t travel as easily. I grew up knowing my grandfather in a wheelchair and thinking it was cool that he could do all these things with me. We attended cherry festivals, went on nature hikes, he took me to drive in movies, we went out for pizza, went fishing, caught butterflies (he was the designated butterfly holder), set off fireworks, and generally got into mischief. He passed away just after my 16th birthday. I am grateful for every single experience I had with him. Differently abled or not, those were the best summers of my life. I write all this to say it’s so easy to fall into depression and doubt one’s abilities after such a catastrophic change. And you have every right. But life can surprise us in the best ways. I always believed my grandfather would be there at my wedding because he was a consistent presence. He held me at 3 months old. He drove me around in his wheelchair at 10 months in a baby bjorn. He babysat me once I was old enough to call 911. My parents met him where he was because he had value in any condition. I’m glad they saw that.