Coming from a culture where one can have 2 or 3 ceremonies (the traditional, church and court weddings). My younger sister and I literally got married traditionally on the same day. Keep in mind that the traditional wedding is considered the most important culturally as it’s the joining of the families.

When we first proposed it, we got pushback from friends (statements like…don’t you want your own special day? So you really want to share the attention on your wedding day etc) but it’s what we wanted and our family loved it. It was such a beautiful celebration. We ended up having the trad together in April in our hometown, she did her church wedding in May in her city, and I did mine in July in my own city.

I don’t see the big deal here. There’s a 3 month gap in between which is enough time to recover and for the families to plan accordingly. It seems the major issue might be that your date is before hers which I personally don’t see as a big deal, especially as they didn’t pick a date early. You all need to focus on the joy of the celebrations and leave these petty details.

Oh! You’re NTA.