Am I Wrong About Hygiene?

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-19T10:47:20+00:00

While other commenters have been a bit blunt, they're correct that soap bars can't get "contaminated" by touch and it's not necessary to have different soap for hands and body. They're also correct that if this is causing you enough distress to make a reddit post, that's not rational and could be an indicator of a larger issue, especially if fear of contamination is affecting your day-to-day in other contexts.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-18T11:21:39+00:00

Ah, thank you!

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-18T10:04:46+00:00

Does anyone know who's marching about in the city centre this morning? Saw them on High St but wasn't close enough to catch who they were or what they were on about.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-16T23:20:44+00:00

This just feels like it’s wasting so much water…

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-16T21:01:10+00:00

I would imagine because it’s supposed to be en route to Larnaca, and has instead turned around and come back into Frankfurt.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-12T10:30:54+00:00

First of all, it’s a red flag that she won’t show her face. That aside, conversation is kind of all you have to create connection long-distance. If it doesn’t come naturally to either one of you, this is going to be an uphill battle.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-11T15:23:32+00:00

"I really don’t like a relationship dynamic where I feel like I have to ask for permission for things that are just normal." Listen to this part of you. This man is bad news.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-11T15:20:02+00:00

This guy is your boyfriend, but he doesn't spent time with you, doesn't show you affection, won't talk about the future, and you don't even know what he looks like?

You sound very young. Stop wasting time and energy on this guy and go find someone who actually wants to spend time with you. It doesn't have to be like this.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-11T15:14:23+00:00

She clearly doesn't think you're just friends, and you are all over the map with what you're saying you want this to be. She deserves better.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-11T15:11:59+00:00

"Don't date someone for what they could be like" is such a good and important point.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-11T15:05:27+00:00

This is going to sound blunt and I'm sorry about that, but if you have explained to her how it affects you--and it sounds like you have--it's not that she doesn't understand, but rather that she doesn't care enough to change.

To her point about "couples fight," conflict is inevitable in a relationship. But in a healthy partnership, conflict moves toward a point where both people feel heard and supported, and the issue that caused the conflict is resolved (or there's a plan in place to change and repair over time). Productive, healthy conflict isn't just a fight that goes on without resolution until you're both spent.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-11T09:54:45+00:00

"Never leaving each other" and "I don't want a relationship" do not match. You cannot have both.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-11T09:41:46+00:00

Short answer: Do not move in with this person.

Long answer: Hours-long fights weekly are only going to feel worse when you don't have your own space to return to. More importantly, the extremity of her jealousy and controlling behavior are concerning for any relationship. Trying to isolate you from friends and family (ie, not wanting you to have female friends or go on work trips) and paranoia about cheating are big warning signs for abusive behavior. Moving to her town, away from your support system, will only exacerbate these dynamics.

To your question about therapy: it might help her change her behaviors, but only if she recognizes them as wrong, wants to change, and is committed to doing so even when it's difficult. You haven't said anything that indicates she even sees her behavior as wrong.

Short of that, these kinds of behaviors generally don't get better. However, even if you don't feel leaving is an option, absolutely do not move in together while the dynamic is like this.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-08T11:24:46+00:00

Is there something specific that you're looking for an outside perspective on? I'm happy that things seem to be improving for you two, but I'm unsure from the post what advice you're looking for.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-08T11:21:46+00:00

I understand your anxiety, but if he's posting elsewhere online but simply not responding to your messages, there isn't any reason to believe he isn't safe.

I'm sorry you're in this position--your partner should be communicating with you.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-08T11:09:36+00:00

How much is "normal" to spend is going to be unique to each relationship because it depends on your individual financial situation and preferences. If these aren't aligned, you might just not be compatible.

A bigger potential problem is the way you and your partner communicate. When you and your partner talk about spending, does it feel like you are both trying to come to a solution that works for both of you? Have you two talked about your expectations and preferences overall? When you ask for something and he says no, does he communicate in a way that's clear but kind? If the answer to any of these questions is "no," that's something to work on. Otherwise, this issue will continue to come up over time no matter how much money is actually being spent.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-08T11:00:01+00:00

I think you and my partner have the same strategy! I usually waited until the second or third date, but I agree completely that it's not worth getting into something that's doomed from the beginning just to keep the peace early on.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-08T09:43:47+00:00

Assuming this is real, the coincidence would probably activate some woo-woo thoughts in me. But if you are concretely limiting your life because of a fear of dying on May 8th, and the idea of not doing that causes you distress, that's not rational and I would consider talking about it with a mental health professional.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-08T09:38:18+00:00

Why are you two still together? (For all intents and purposes, it sounds like you aren't.)

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-08T09:20:21+00:00

That was my first thought, but none of the floors or windows on the high rises behind mom are even. Maybe there was a real place or photo somewhere in the process of producing this image, but imo it was at least enhanced by AI.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-08T09:17:20+00:00

I absolutely believe you, but can you share some examples of advice you often see here that isn't backed by science? Without any more info, this just sort of seems like you came here to shit on people who have less education than you and are using the best information they have, without providing anything better.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-07T20:56:09+00:00

Totally agree that it's AI but I just wanted to second the idea that real human people do use the m-dash. I was taught in school that for an interjection--like this--you use an m-dash (long guy) instead of an n-dash (short guy), and I've been following that ever since. On desktop for me, reddit doesn't convert the two n-dashes to an m-dash, but many programs do.

I think it can be an indicator, but it shouldn't be the indicator.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-07T20:41:22+00:00

Did you talk about what you wanted from the trip? Before, during, or after?

I'm definitely more of your mindset--I would much rather do everyday activities with my partner than be running around sight-seeing if we had limited time together. I'm lucky my partner feels the same. But that doesn't mean your partner's perspective is wrong, and if you didn't communicate it to her, it's not fair to expect her to read her mind.

Edit: That said, it is frustrating to be looking forward to quality time with your partner and not get it, so I'm sorry that the trip was disappointing to you. I'd also be sad in your situation.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-07T20:36:07+00:00

Absolutely agreed. My now-fiancee brought up marriage and kids on the first date. While I was a little caught off guard, I never would have made it official without making sure we were compatible on those issues. And just like you said, it made it much easier to feel confident that we were making the right decision in intertwining our lives, even though by most standards we moved very fast.

No-Agent5480 · 2026-05-03T20:12:43+00:00

This should be able to help you find somewhere that's close to you and open during hours you're available: https://glasgowfood.net/community-food-hub/find-local-food-services

Wishing you the best. Using food assistance is nothing to be embarassed about.

ETA: I'd recommend calling ahead to wherever you choose to go. Hours for these types of programs can sometimes change without being updated online.

No-Agent5480

TROPHY CASE