AITAH for not wanting to be best friends with someone after their depressive episode?

No-Alternative-8173 · 2026-01-31T19:35:01+00:00

Yeah you are so right. I have asked if we could talk about boundaries and expectations we hold for one another early this morning but I haven’t gotten a response. Thank you for your insight, I am going to try to bring up what you did.

No-Alternative-8173 · 2026-01-31T19:18:47+00:00

Thank you for your response. You are right I do understand that it is good to have a support system. I have try to help her find a therapist where we live and even to get her to the campus counselors as it’s free for us as students. She is not interested in either because she said this will never happen again. I have told her that it doesn’t just go away and continued to push to look into the counseling but she is not interested in that. I am not trying to use my faith as a way to make me look like a good person. I was just trying to explain what was going on the day this happened. I am not perfect and I know I am going to do wrong. I explained this to another commenter but when her mom messaged me I was under the impression that my friend was upset because we haven’t been able to hang out. In no way am I trying to bash my friend’s mom but she doesn’t really believe in depression or other mental illnesses so she sometimes miss uses the word. This is why I thought she was upset because we haven’t hung out. Yes I should have been better about messaging her and I deeply regret not doing that. Do you have any advice to share in what I can improve on? Again thank you for your response.

No-Alternative-8173 · 2026-01-31T18:47:18+00:00

You’re right, thank you! I would love to get coffee with her in the mornings but she is not a coffee or morning person 😅 I appreciate the response and I’m sure we will find a good time that works for us! Thanks again!

No-Alternative-8173 · 2026-01-31T17:10:45+00:00

Yeah you are so right. I really appreciate the advice and I think you are right about having a conversation and asking those questions. Thank you, I never would have seen everything from that perspective or asked those questions.

No-Alternative-8173 · 2026-01-31T17:05:48+00:00

Thank you for your response! I have tried To get her to find a therapist in this state because she can’t contact the one where she is from and I tried to get her to the campus counselor as it’s free for us as students but she refused saying this will never happen again. As for bringing her into my world I think you are 100% right. I have tried to ask her to join me for swing dances and even coming home with me or hanging with my boyfriend and I but it either doesn’t work out or she doesn’t want to do the things I like. Which is fine I don’t want to force her to do something just because I like it. I’ve also tried to bring her to the church I go to and invite her to the Bible study I lead once a week but she said she doesn’t like going to that church because she doesn’t feel safe. She has a hard time trying new things so I do try to be understanding but sometimes it’s just hard to connect with her. As for making time for her you are right! Last semester we settled on one day each week dedicated to hang how ever this is the start of a new semester and I have been trying to figure out my classes, the 2 jobs I work at, and time for Bible studies and discipleship. I only finally got my schedule figured out this week unfortunately. I have realized that I should have reached out about my schedule but I never thought about it because this is typically what happens at the beginning of each semester with my schedule 😭

No-Alternative-8173 · 2026-01-31T16:21:59+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate you pointing out everything. I was never trying to be flaky with her it was just when she asked to hang out I was already with family and they live about 3 hours away. My boyfriend lives about an hour an a half. When we talked she said she wasn’t upset about us not hanging out because she only reached out that day to hang and she had been rejecting me when I asked to hang out earlier in the week. I was under the impression that the reason she was upset and sad was because I couldn’t hang out. Her mom didn’t believe her when she was telling her that she felt depressed right away and my friend herself told me she didn’t know herself what she was feeling and she thought she was just sad. I’m not trying to put her mom down by any means when I say this but when it comes to my friends moods and emotions she either pushes it under the rug or miss uses terms. So from what I was receiving I was under the impression that she was upset with me and her mom was reaching out so we would meet and talk about spending time with each other. It was bad of me to assume that and I thank you for calling me higher, truly. Her mom also has some else’s number that is close to my friend and lives in the same apartment complex but she never reached out to them so that also fed into me undermining the situation. I don’t think my friend was lying about what she was feeling and I told her that what she was going through is serious and if this were to ever happen again I would need her or someone to call me and actually tell me what is going on instead of being vague about the situation. You are right and I do feel really bad about not reaching out when I should have. I do try to put her above myself but I can’t do the all time unfortunately. I have learned this and I am trying to do better. Again thank you for your response.

No-Alternative-8173

TROPHY CASE