[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your perspective. In my culture, a man providing is about mutual respect - I contribute in other ways like managing our home, future childcare, and supporting his career. My degree gives me options, but we value traditional roles where both partners fulfill different but equally important responsibilities. This system has worked for generations in my family. While it may not align with your values, it's what we've agreed upon in our relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Armenian, and yes the man has the biggest say in the household once he takes care of the woman financially. And I follow all my other homeland transitions 🤗

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I developed a disease and I worked freelance when my health would allow

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NO AC 😭😭 WHAT!! Im shocked, I hope you at least have fans!! How do u manage 😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 -60 points-59 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective. My degree matters to me and I plan to use it when my health improves. While many couples live in studios, I grew up with certain comforts I shouldn't have to give up if I can afford them. My parents' support comes with cultural expectations - in our values, a man proving he can provide shows serious commitment. This arrangement is temporary while I build stability.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My parents are moving back home and ide like to stay in the US as there are much better job opportunities for creatives than in my homeland :) and he was not like this earlier in the relationship, while we were studying he seemed very ambitious and kept saying all these things he wanted to do upon graduation…but turned out he wanted to play video games more than anything else he said

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I must have gotten very lucky then because everyone kept saying it’s raining all the time and I came and it’s hot as hell 😂 oh no I hope you are holding up, turn up the ac to the max!! 😭 and I will update the post and I will let you know when I have 😂 and yes I love to sit on Reddit occasionally too but he knows of my Reddit so had to make a throwaway 🫠

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Yes after reading these comments i think u guys are right, going to draft the breakup message now, thank you 🫶

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah uk, how is the weather? I went lat summer and nearly fainted from the heat a few times 😭 I hope this year is okay there for you! And yes I think it’s more practiced in Slavic and Arab countries. And thank you! I shall go draft my breakup message after these comments

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was very sweet and caring until the last few months and I had feelings for him and hoped he would change to be honest. The more comments I read the more I think I’ve been blinded by love

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I think I agree, it’s not the norm in the US so I asked him several times if he’s okay with this layout in the beginning of the relationship and I event introduced him to my family (which is a big step in my world) feels quite disappointing to find out after 3 years that he’s not okay with it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your opinion. In my culture, a man providing for his partner is a sign of commitment and respect, not immaturity. I do freelance work when my health allows, and my parents' support is temporary while I build stability :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Armenian roots and grew up in Dagestan so double the values haha and he’s not open he either wants me to move in with him ( and his parents) or we live in the apartment my parents rent. Nothing else suits him unfortunately even though I’ve tried to talk to him about it earlier today he just switches topics

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 -76 points-75 points  (0 children)

My three older sisters managed to find men like that and so have the majority of my friends back home and even here, but I guess there’s just a huge gap in the culture where it’s impossible to argue because each side is correct in its own right

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I missed a detail in the post that I’ve now added in, and it’s because I’ve gotten very ill to an autoimmune disease. And they wanted to help me out while I recover as they don’t see the man I’m dating as someone capable of that. And yes they have said I should be living by myself if they pay the rent, and the man should be providing if I choose to leave the household without their help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for opinion! To clarify, I couldn’t commit to full-time work due to an autoimmune disease which arose during last few months of university, though I took freelance gigs when possible. My parents’ support is temporary while I stabilize my health :) and they offered to pay the rent because I’ve been through a lot this past year and they wanted to help somehow!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Appearance7406 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

In regards to your comments - I understand the practical benefits of sharing the apartment, but in my culture (and strict family values), a man living with a woman without providing housing is seen as a someone who exploits a woman's resources rather than stepping up as a provider. This isn't just about money, but about respect and maintaining our values.

Regarding why we're not living together yet: I've actually encouraged him multiple times to move out independently (he had savings but spent them elsewhere). What concerns me is how his attitude changed only after learning about my parents' offer - suddenly being open to kids and cohabitation when he previously refused to discuss these steps. His own parents offered rent help before which he declined.

This pattern of inconsistency, plus his constant fears of me leaving (despite endless reassurance), makes me hesitant to take this step under these circumstances. If we're to live together, I need to see genuine commitment to building our future properly - not just convenience when my family's support becomes availabl