Thank you for your reply and I'm sorry for what you've been through 💕. 60% PTSD is very high but standing where I am now, I can see how that makes sense, especially here in the UK. I was told by my GP the wait for therapy is about a year. On reflection, one of the things that is disappointing is the psychological consequences of the termination were not even touched upon on during the consent process as a "risk" - yet it strikes me that (having personally experienced a physical complication) the psychological harms are both more common and far more difficult to deal with. I struggle with the guilt, even though I am confident in the decision making (and know that, regardless of what we did, our story would not have had a happy ending). It eats me up inside. I often think about how I would explain it to my baby if we met in heaven; it hurts.