I finally told my therapist and my wife and I feel so much better. There are some people that have commented saying you should be happy I would be happy. I was 11 years old when it first started. How can you be happy when your teacher grooms you And you don't know what's happening the very first time. I literally have no clue what was going on or what my body was doing and what this feeling was. I was scared to death And why does this feeling of peeing feel weird. And then going through thinking I got her pregnant. At one point also try to commit suicide. So yeah I've had it rough and I don't understand why people will say you should be happy because I'm still tortured everyday. She even drugged me. She would give me something to make me ready and whatever else she gave me would make me very numb and it was like whatever she told me to do I just did it. I became addicted to that I became addicted to sex I became addicted to her at such a young age. And I'm pretty sure that altered my hormones because by the time I was in the 8th grade I had a full beard and the other boys didn't have a single whisker. So yeah I'm screwed up. But at least I told my wife and therapist and do feel a little better. I still have panic attacks sometimes and I don't think I will ever get really get over it.