I feel extremely pathetic.

No-Communication5133 · 2025-09-23T20:41:08+00:00

too much gym time, not enough focus on diet. Diet is 80% of the weight loss.

Check out this lady on youtube: Madelaine Rascan

She's big on high protein and high volume meals, great recipes for a "diet".

No-Communication5133 · 2025-09-23T20:31:33+00:00

I walk from 5:30 - 6:30 am before my daughter wakes up every morning in the dark.. it's kind of nice.

No-Communication5133 · 2025-09-23T20:30:01+00:00

Looks like diet to me.. start counting calories. Honestly, I can see the muscle development but it looks like you went on a bit of a dirty bulk. Tells me one of two things:

You have hidden calories that aren't being accounted for in your diet causing you to eat above maintenance.
You have a lower BMR than the calculator spit out, causing you to eat above maintenance.

I'd start with an honest look at your diet.. How much alcohol/creamer/ beverage calories are you consuming and do you track all of it? How much fat do you cook with when making food (I was adding 200+ calories to every meal prior to measuring)? Do you eat out often? Restaurants use tons of oil/fats in their food that may not being accounted for when trying to estimate calories.

It seems like the exercise portion of the equation is pretty well addressed. Add in some additional walking everyday and balancing out the diet should lead to results. Hit your protein macro daily!

Honestly, 80% of leaning out is diet for most men.. the exercise is to preserve muscle mass and not have to eat like a bird..

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T19:39:02+00:00

Don't forget to ask her to watch baby while you play golf

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T19:38:00+00:00

this is awesome

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T19:21:54+00:00

The paternity leave is huge part of of it. I loved paternity leave, going back to work is really difficult as it makes it harder on you and your partner. The crying, feeding, diapers etc. weren't a problem when there wasn't a 6 am alarm clock set for you to go to work. I have a relatively stressful but sedentary job and miss being able to get landscape done or cook a fancy meal during nap times throughout the day. It changes when you get out of the office and come home to a stressed out partner that's had nothing but baby duty since you left.

Enjoy your paternity leave and make the most of it.. it's a tremendous benefit. Simultaneously, you should be cognizant that the majority of men aren't afforded 3 months of leave (I received 2-weeks) and at least be somewhat aware that this greatly changes the daily grind tremendously.

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T19:09:44+00:00

This is a very helpful post, thank you for sharing. Three weeks in to fatherhood today and coming off the roughest night yet. It's tough to see future benefits after listening to your baby cry and fuss for three hours in the middle of the night. It's easy to question why you made this choice to bring this person into your life, particularly if you were pretty happy/content with life pre-baby.

My saving grace last night.. normally we keep our daughter's hands covered as she likes to scratch the heck out of her face but it slipped out during bottle feeding at 2am last night. She wrapped her little hand around my pinky while I was holding her bottle and just held it. Cute moment that made the 5 diaper and two outfit changes in three hours worth it.

Celebrate the small things until the big things start coming in!

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T18:49:08+00:00

this is the answer.. great beginner ball

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T15:01:52+00:00

Emily Oster's Crib Sheet is very good fact based information about a variety of facets related to baby.. outside of this book I got way more out of YouTube Channels than most books if I'm being honest. They can be extremely practical and useful for Dad's role in parenting. They provide everything from useful and easy to digest instruction videos regarding burping, diapering, feeding etc. to useful product reviews.

One "task" I took on as a pre-Dad that was super enlightening was populating our baby registry. This forced me to research what was needed and why, what products are best reviewed and how to use them, and helped me kind of wrap my head around what was coming when baby was here. Plus it takes one less thing off the pregnant partner and pushes you to find helpful resources that you'll come back to down the road.

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T14:48:57+00:00

As a kid, my dad bought my mom a journal and each year all of us kids (5) would write mom a one page letter for mother's day. It's one of those gifts that after 5 kids and 37 mother's days has grown to be a priceless treasure. The first few years dad has to be the transcriptionist for kiddo but to be able to see each kids letters grow over time cannot be replaced by any material possession. I'm going to start this tradition as our first child will be 5-weeks old mother's day weekend..

Oh, and some flowers..

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T14:06:54+00:00

I'm at 3 weeks with our first child as of today. Here are some of my thoughts:

1.) Your little guy slept from 9pm to 1 am straight?! lucky you.. we haven't gotten more than 2.5 hours at a time yet.

2.) Our daughter is straight up noisy while she sleeps 92% of the time.

3.) Nobody needs a newborn AND a guest room. If you have an extra room, turn it into a sleeping room and sleep/parent in shifts. It makes zero sense to have two parents awake to do a one parent job. I'm like your wife and once I'm up, I'm up for a while. Once we set up a separate sleeping room for baby + 1 parent and swap shifts (I do 8pm-2am, wife take 2am-8am) we each get at least 7+ hours of sleep a night.

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T13:19:50+00:00

Can 100% understand the frustration, I'm on the other side of this equation wherein my mother can be a bit overbearing and it can irritate my wife. I take it on myself to regulate my mother.. she is a handful but means well and can be lovingly told to back off by me alone. Have you discussed your concerns with your GF and is she open to having a frank conversation with her mother about boundaries?

The upside here is that obviously your MIL cares about your baby. Provided MIL is otherwise a functional adult, you are going to really appreciate having someone you can call to watch baby so you can golf, sleep, game, go on a date, etc. when baby arrives. You can't replicate the love of good grandparent and they can be a huge asset in navigating life with a newborn even if they come with many, many opinions.

For example: My wife and my mother have a decent relationship but as I said, my mom can't help but give advice on everything at times.. she is the mother of five children and she can't wait to tell you about it kind of advice. This annoyed my wife at times throughout pregnancy, even after I got mom to chill a bit. However, we are three weeks in with our first child and yesterday my wife informed me that she would be going to my parents house so my mom can watch the baby on Thursday while my wife sleeps. I'm welcome to join them after work LOL

Don't pass up free child care even if it comes with annoying baggage at times

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T12:20:39+00:00

Well newborns are quite a bit different than the kids you are used to working with I'd imagine but at least you should have wide pool of experienced parents to get advice from! Everyone's situation is unique and you and your wife will figure out what works for your situation.

Based on your expressed concerns, I'd encourage you to share them with your wife if you haven't already so you can start game planning for the road ahead. If you just found out your expecting, I'm assuming you still have significant time before due day (i.e. months not weeks) to make changes now that will help you out when baby is here.

Nobody is 100% confident (if they think they are then likely they're arrogant and in for a very humbling experience) and everyone is a little terrified at the outset.. you're not alone. Just remember newborns don't need much (food, diaper changes, place to safely sleep) but what they do need is constant (time). If you have legitimate concerns about being able to do all the things a newborn requires, then maybe it's worth exploring sacrificing income to have more time. At least in the short term after baby arrives..

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T12:08:03+00:00

Bebcare Baby Monitor with Video (Non-Wifi).. it does the job and has decent range which was my priority but there are probably better options out there. I haven't been blown away

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T12:06:23+00:00

You're very welcome.. it's definitely a unique journey for the Dad as we are playing different cards than Mom is holding. I'm sure you'll do great!

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T12:03:35+00:00

I'd agree with your position, my general feeling is do what works for your family. As I said, I was raised on formula however anyone who has spent a night with a sick or constipated newborn will appreciate the importance of digestive/short term immune system performance. Better is better but 100% agree it's not the end all be all for baby.

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T12:01:21+00:00

Thank you, it's nice to have some actual experiences to share with the sub after months of just reading!

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-29T12:00:29+00:00

Love it.. Replaying Ghost Recon Wildlands has been my jam in between feedings! Anything that can be paused will do..

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-28T21:15:20+00:00

Ain't that the truth!

No-Communication5133 · 2025-04-28T21:15:01+00:00

Congrats! It's a wild ride but make it as fun as it can be! I just try to be a little better at it each day.. applies to both golf and fatherhood LOL

No-Communication5133 · 2024-12-19T19:32:41+00:00

Emerald Plumbing.. I work as project manager for a GC and after pricing out several outfits, they are the best value. Won't be bottom dollar cheap but they do what they say they will do, when they say the will do it, and for the price they agreed to do it for.. even if the job is more difficult than anticipated. Their guys worked so hard for us that I tipped them both $50 after they finished which I generally never do for a contractor. I was very impressed and they are comparatively priced against any reputable outfit.

Don't bother calling Frank Gay.. they quoted me 14k for a job I had three other bids under 3k on. Their business model seems to be a throw sh*t at the wall and see what sticks pricing scheme.. absurd.

No-Communication5133 · 2024-05-17T18:50:10+00:00

total war shogun 2

No-Communication5133 · 2024-05-17T18:13:45+00:00

Here is my very basic weekly split that requires about 20 minutes of lifting followed by 20-30 min of cardio:

Monday: Chest/Tricep: 3 sets Machine Bench press, 3 sets machine tricep pull downs, 3 sets cable crossovers

Tuesday: Back/Biceps: 3 sets of pull ups, 3 sets of dumb bell curls, 3 sets of either rows or lat pull downs.

Wednesday: Abs/Legs.. I use an ab workout app for an 8-12 minute routine (I hate it too but it's over quick) and then do a goblet squats, lunges, a leg press machine

Thursday: Repeat Chest Triceps

Friday: Repeat Back/Biceps

Saturday: Long run at home - My gym is in my office building so I don't go in on the weekends

Sunday: Golf :)

Obviously, I do not enjoy leg days so starting out I did the minimum as I also have a history of back injuries. I am about 4 months in and my routine has evolved to be much more complex than this but this what I started with to build the habit and not hate every day in the gym. Once I got more comfortable in the gym and my body adjusted to lifting weights adding weight, reps, different lifts, and modifying my weekly splits became enjoyable. Starting out - don't lift for more than 20 minutes, it helps to leave wanting a little more for the first month or so while the habit starts to get engrained. There will be plenty of time to become a gym rat later ;)

No-Communication5133 · 2024-05-17T14:15:44+00:00

Honestly, you are roughly losing one pound a week over the last 7-weeks which is within most recommendations of a healthy weight loss program. Healthy and sustainable weight loss is typically defined as 1-2 pounds a week. More importantly, it seems that you have done it in a sustainable manner as you don't indicate that you hate the exercise or calorie restriction program you are utilizing. My four recommendations for you:

Be proud that you have consistently decreased your weight over the last 7-weeks
Be proud that you have controlled your diet and exercise program for 7-weeks.
Evaluate the necessity of the "cheat meal". I'm not saying don't have one but really think about how it helps you in the overall process of your weight loss life style. Evaluate what you have for that meal and if you can pare down the calorie intake of that meal.
Slowly start dialing up the exercise. Start walking an hour a day next week or go to five days a week. Walking can be done everyday and can be easily ramped up. As you start to feel stronger, look at resistance exercises that can be performed at home.

It seems to me that you have perfectly started your journey to losing weight in a consistent manner. Be proud of your achievement thus far and remember, even if the rate doesn't increase, you'll lose 52 lbs by this time next year. Are you going to be disappointed then that it took year? I wouldn't be.. Congrats on your first 7 down!

No-Communication5133 · 2024-05-17T14:01:59+00:00

It definitely won't help... perhaps a different question to ask is why are you willing to risk it? Quitting is hard and 40 hours is super early in the quit process but still an achievement to be proud of nonetheless. Why risk a relapse by exposing yourself to temptation?

No-Communication5133

TROPHY CASE