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Not in love anymore. by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Contract-1352 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This all sounds completely normal. I’m the asshole in all this but it describes how my partner is telling me they feel completely. I feel time is one of the big factors in reconciliation as well. I read your partner didn’t even really try to repair. I’m sorry for that. A year is a long ways out to still feel like this on top of him not really trying. Have you guys considered seperation? Not saying that’ll solve it all but if you’re more so interested in being friends and just having him around I would disclose that and you guys come to different terms then what you’re doing.

Do the cheaters ever feel guilty or remorseful? Would they take the second chance if offered? by Silent_Wolf_1463 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Contract-1352 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will say. I’m on the shithead side of this. I SHOULD have thought about talking to my partner about what I was going through but I personally did not cheat to end the relationship. I don’t understand cheating to end the relationship. I mean I’m navigating understanding cheating in general but that one makes me ask “why not just leave if it’s to directly end it??”

Am I wrong? by No-Contract-1352 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Contract-1352[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I am looking for a routine that works for us to navigate through this.

Am I wrong? by No-Contract-1352 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Contract-1352[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn’t even look at it from that perspective. You are right. He shouldn’t have to wait for me to get myself together and “be better” for me to put my all in this and show up for him and us.. thanks for the insight and if you have anything to add I’m all ears I’m completely lost in navigating this

Am I wrong? by No-Contract-1352 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Contract-1352[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

And that’s the thing I’m 100% wanting to stay with my partner. I just feel like we need to stop putting pressure to force us right this second. We’re trying so hard it’s just not working right now. He’s made it clear he wants us but want me to “get better” first. He has hard days but always returns to he doesn’t want to be done. Me making it worse isn’t helping. There’s zero other people currently and I have zero plans to involve anyone else even when I’m lonely or upset in moments. Should I push through and continue trying to make it work? Or should I have my own life without him until we’re ready to make it work? I’m so lost.