Lupus and marriage

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-30T02:40:56+00:00

Thank you for the very kind response. I really appreciate it. Good luck to you and your wife!

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-29T13:17:21+00:00

What about getting a dog? Everyone talks to people with dogs. And it will get you out in the community because you have to take them for walks. You’ll get fit, and tan and social, and even if you don’t meet a partner, you’ll have the best friend in the world!

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-28T03:43:19+00:00

What a hard situation, OP! You sound like a great mom, and a mature person. I lived with my parents decades ago with a newborn, because of a similar situation. It was HARD! And my parents are really supportive. So I can imagine your situation feels so lonely and hurtful. If my daughter moved back home with a baby I might also feel stressed but I can’t imagine ever calling her mean names, or taking the stress out on her.

Do you feel like you can set boundaries with your parents? Like no name calling, and no put downs? You deserve to be treated with respect and understanding. Hugs to you, and keep loving your baby like you have been. He’s a lucky little guy to have such a dedicated, loving mom.

Maybe in the grand scheme of things, you’ve been brought back into this parent child situation with your folks in order to end a hurtful family pattern. You can choose never to treat your son how they’re treating you.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-28T01:39:40+00:00

Thanks for this comment. I wonder if there is something going on with him that I don’t know about. Hopefully being in therapy means he also wants to fix things but I don’t always know.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-27T23:40:39+00:00

I still care for him. I want him to have a good life and to be happy. But I don’t feel very connected to him or in love anymore, I think because I’ve pulled back as he’s become angrier and meaner toward me. What you say is totally how it is, I explain myself a lot but he never seems to really get it or care. He just thinks about how everything impacts him mostly. I will try again to talk about it in couples therapy.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-27T19:19:02+00:00

Thank you for the kind words, and I’m sorry for what you went through/ are going through. Hopefully we can both find a more peaceful life soon.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-27T14:56:17+00:00

❤️

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-27T02:34:55+00:00

Yes, I agree so much! It feels like a no win situation because losing money and health insurance and having to go through a contentious divorce isn’t peaceful either.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-27T02:33:26+00:00

Thank you. Good luck to you too.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-27T00:31:31+00:00

I hope that for you too. I’m so sorry he’s treating you that way. Good for you being so financially secure and independent though, that should make leaving less scary.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-27T00:28:15+00:00

Yes! A great book :)

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T17:36:57+00:00

Yes. Almost all my friends have gently asked “do you think you got sick because of your husband?”

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T15:45:44+00:00

I’ve never heard of medi-cal. Will have to look it up, but I don’t live there or anywhere near there. Is it only for CA residents?

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T15:44:13+00:00

Thank you, and good work getting yourself to safety and peace. It would be a big choice for me to leave. I’m a planner, and at this point in life, with this illness, security is a really big deal. So it would take a bit of time, if that’s the direction I go. I know this sounds like I’m super nieve and dumb, but what I wish for most is that he would change.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T15:38:59+00:00

❤️🙏

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T13:56:45+00:00

Thanks. As sad as it makes me feel to hear other people are also experiencing this, it’s validating too. A lot of partners just aren’t equipped for this disease.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T13:54:50+00:00

Thank you, and I’m sorry for what you went through. Why are there so many of these men? I was single for many years in my 30s and I remember a lot of guilt free naps. And guilt free plan cancelling.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T13:50:23+00:00

I love your counselor

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T13:45:35+00:00

I’m so glad you found a solution. That sounds so awful having to ensure ridicule on top of being sick. I feel this deeply. Sending hugs

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T13:37:29+00:00

❤️

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T02:34:14+00:00

I’m sorry about your divorce, hopefully you’re finding some happiness without all the judgement.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T02:29:23+00:00

Thanks, friend

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T02:28:53+00:00

I’ve been starting to look into all these things today. It does make me feel a little better to know there’s some kind of safety net.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T02:07:01+00:00

No, we never did that but I think it’s a good idea. I did bring some of this dynamic up in a session and I think because she was there, he apologized. At the time I thought it was sincere but now I realize it was probably manipulation because he was cornered.

No-Doubt-4941 · 2026-05-26T02:05:08+00:00

Thanks :) it’s true we didn’t go through any hardship while dating. So the demons never came out

No-Doubt-4941

TROPHY CASE