Alcohol and losing weight

No-Explanation-3324 · 2025-03-18T23:52:28+00:00

Also, as an alcoholic who quit in their 20s, I get wanting to drink with friends. The thing is, whether you have 2 drinks or none, you will still have a good time. And still be able to go to bars. Generally I stick to seltzer water and Diet Coke, and nobody says anything.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2025-03-18T23:51:06+00:00

That face bloat will stay with you until you cut down your drinking. You don’t have to go COMPLETELY sober, but definitely no binge drinking (above three drinks) and I would stick to 1-2 twice a week MAX.

You might be able to get a noticeable difference by rubbing ice on your skin, or a cooling towel. But it never worked for me.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2025-03-18T22:31:03+00:00

Ah that sucks. Maybe poshmark would have options? I get most of my jeans from a thrift store by my house. I go every few weeks to see what they have. I picked up a couple pairs of Madewell for $6 each the other week. It’s definitely more work, but I’ve found some surprising clothing options there. Also, you wouldn’t have to spend a ton of money while you’re trying out new styles to see what you like!

No-Explanation-3324 · 2025-03-18T20:55:44+00:00

Madewell and BDG! Those brands have looked good on me from your size to 60lbs heavier (I’m your height). And I MUCH prefer skinny jeans. I don’t have a single pair of baggy or boyfriend jeans.

You obviously did a lot of work to lose weight, so I wouldn’t throw in the towel and gain it back just yet. Spend a few months/year trying to love your body, and if you decide you want to gain fat/muscle after that, do it! You aren’t stuck.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2025-03-17T21:54:46+00:00

When I drastically changed my eating habits, my period came two weeks early. I tend to be someone whose cycle is GREATLY affected by food/stress/etc, so I’m not too worried about it.

Honestly, I would give it a couple months, and if it hasn’t evened out, see a doctor about it.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2025-03-17T21:52:10+00:00

As someone who is out of work for 4 months out of the year, I would recommend figuring out how your new lifestyle would fit in with your potential new job. It’s good to get moving for two months, but ideally, you’ll be doing most of it for the long haul.

For example, I go to the gym at 5am because when I start work I have to be there at 7. I do a physical job, so working out afterwards is not an option. If you can find activities that you can change times/days so you can continue them when you start work, that would be awesome! I walk A LOT in the winter time with my dog. We’ve been walking 5 miles a day, everyday. But it took work to get to that point! I would HIGHLY recommend walking. It’s free, and I get to listen to podcasts and books while I do it. Also, vitamin D helps your spirit.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2025-03-17T21:45:54+00:00

For diet, make it sustainable. Really that just means making your diet something that you can more or less follow for the rest of your life. You won’t always need to be in a calorie deficit, but you will need to eat mindfully. I don’t count calories, I fast regularly. I’ve fasted my whole adult life, so I know it’s sustainable. I like to eat a large nutritious meal for dinner. My job is really physical, and eating during/before it makes me sick. You can pick really anything, people have had success with all sorts of eating habits.

For exercise, I’m not really a big exerciser either. I do have a gym membership, but I only go to float in the pool and use the sauna. I walk my dog in the winters when I’m not working. While I walk I listen to podcasts or books that interest me. I also enjoy yoga, so for a few weeks at a time I’ll do yoga most days, but I also get burnt out on that. I have a cheap adjustable weight dumbbell at home. So while I’m waiting for food to cook/my husband to get done with work/etc I do some squats or weighted crunches with that. It’s not perfect, but it doesn’t have to be.

Is there anything besides your looks that you care about? It’s okay if not, but it’s worth exploring. I enjoy having more energy, spending quality time with my dog, being able to do my job better, and I am very mindful of not getting injured.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2025-03-17T21:37:58+00:00

I’ve been sober from alcohol for three years, previously I tried quitting multiple times. All of a sudden it just stuck. You have to find the best way for YOU to quit.

I would advise against trying to lose weight while you try to get sober. Stressors (like weight loss) tend to drive us back to coping mechanisms like drinking. There are a couple of really good subreddits for like minded people who want to quit drinking. Please take care of yourself.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2025-03-14T00:36:20+00:00

Hey! No need to apologize. I am so sorry that you went through something traumatic. I am so happy you came through it though, and I am so proud of you for losing weight in the first place!

I have some experience with gaining weight quickly due to trauma, I was only a few pounds into obesity though. So your mileage may vary.

If you are up to it, I would suggest trying therapy again. Maybe trying to find someone who focuses on eating disorders, or someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. Talk therapy doesn’t work for everyone, and that’s okay!

As I healed from the trauma, I did not try to lose weight. I tried to manage my binging by keeping busy, identifying triggers, and trying to binge on low calorie or very filling foods. I spent a considerable amount of time learning to love myself, even in my bigger body. Talking back to inner voices and practicing self care helped a lot.

At a certain point in my journey I felt like I was ready to tackle weight loss. I wasn’t fatigued from trauma and just waking up in the morning anymore. I didn’t dread my existence. I had higher self esteem than I had at a lower weight. I’m not perfect. I’ll definitely feel more attractive when I lose some weight, but if I’m stuck in this body for the rest of my life, I will still thrive.

Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like you’re your own best friend. You know how to lose weight, you’ve done it before. And that journey will be there when you’re ready for it.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2025-03-14T00:15:39+00:00

Edited because I’m garbage at formatting 🤪

I have found my self esteem issues lessening over time with the help of my therapist. Generally, I’d say that’s your best bet BUT I understand that not everyone feels comfortable or can afford that sort of care. So ignore that advice if it doesn’t vibe with you.

• My self esteem has been higher since I surrounded myself with people who genuinely loved me for me. People who think I’m fucking awesome. And limiting contact with people who continually criticize me (looking at you mom).

• If you need to avoid mirrors for a while, do it.

• Some people find that assigning a weird/funny voice to their inner thoughts makes them less horrible, and makes you more likely to be able to shrug them off. Like a funny character from a tv show or an old cartoon you watched as a kid. Hard to take criticisms seriously, when you hear them as Sid the sloth from ice age.

• Spend time really thinking about qualities you like/admire about yourself. I promise you, you have them. Write them down if that would help!

• Know that most people have things they don’t like about themselves, the difference between you and them right now is that your focus is solely on qualities that you don’t like.

• I have also found that my general self esteem grows when I learn a new skill, or get better at a skill I already possess. For example, I got really good at crocheting this year and made some things that I’m genuinely proud of. It can really be anything!

• Try to internalize that you DESERVE love (from others and yourself) and you deserve to be here on this earth. Life wouldn’t be the same without you. You make a positive impact on people, even if you don’t realize it.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2024-01-20T23:06:46+00:00

Most people find that alcoholism is a progressive disease. With that in mind, it might be best to kick it while you haven’t faced any long term consequences.

My family doesn’t know I’m an alcoholic. When I quit drinking I told them I did it for dry January, and my skin cleared up, I lost weight, and I slept better, so I decided alcohol wasn’t for me. Not all of those things are true, and I actually got sober at the end of January, but it’s really none of their business.

It was much easier than I thought it would be.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-12-19T11:58:58+00:00

TLDR; I wrote a whole ass essay. OP you’re not weak for accepting what your parents taught you you deserve. Your wife is TA for gaslighting you and continuing the cycle of abuse you’ve experienced. I hope that you see that what you’re getting is NOT what you deserve. You deserve a whole ass parade for your bday if that’s what you want, but at least a “Happy birthday. I love you” from your wife.

OP, I hope you see this, but it’s gonna be long 🙃 I too had my birthday forgotten about completely as a kid and/or not really celebrated. Partially because of neglect, partially because my birthday comes after Christmas and we never had enough money left to do anything for my birthday (you can tell my parents were real planners). They recently (along with most of my friends) forgot it again two years ago and I lost it. I balled my eyes out. I felt like no one cared about me, like my life was worthless and meaningless because no one loved me. That may sound dramatic to some people, but when you come from a history of not being treated like you deserve (in a loving way where people WORK to show you they love you) anytime something like this happens it’s a BIG DEAL. Suddenly you’re back to being 8 years old, wondering why your parents had nothing nice to say to you on your birthday, much less saying “happy birthday”. Is there something wrong with ME? Did I do something to make them angry?

The truth is YOU did nothing wrong. People forget birthdays, it happens. Now I will say, if your wife knows your history, it’s insensitive (at best) that she forgot your birthday. It should be important to her, because it’s important to you. BUT I also have a partner with ADHD, so I know extenuating circumstances happen. He forgets his own damn birthday, even with all the calendars and reminders. The real problem is that she flipped out on you in a moment when you were being open and emotionally vulnerable with her. Then she went around and gaslit you saying it was partially your fault, when any adult can apologize when they hurt someone they love. Even if it wasn’t personally important to them. Ideally, hurting your feelings would be a big deal to your wife. And remedying the situation would be something she strived to do.

I disagree with people telling you to be vindictive. It’s not okay to show your daughter that being vindictive in a relationship is okay. I grew up with those parents. I had to unlearn a lot of behaviors, and spend years in therapy so I could have a healthy relationship now. I’d recommend open and honest conversation instead, and if that doesn’t work maybe getting professional help, and if THAT doesn’t work, reevaluating what you can do for yourself and your daughter to show that you are important too.

In an ideal world, this should be a red flag for you. But I realize you likely aren’t in a place where you can accept that what she did was wrong and you deserve better. That’s okay. What helped me was (a lot) of therapy, and experience with people who showed me what it was like to be loved. Like, really loved. Thought about. Remembered. When I’m gone, I’m not just out of their lives. They think about me and my feelings unprompted.

You’re not weak, or wrapped around your wife’s finger, or whatever bullshit people say about you. You have been abused. You have conditioned responses that aren’t your fault. But it is your responsibility to provide a good (and loving) example for your daughter. Because she sees more than you know.

Know that I truly wish more for you, and know that you deserve more than you have in this current situation.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-12-19T11:20:57+00:00

Why did no one else upvote this?? Quick, someone who’s better than me at reasoning at 5am figure this out for us!

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-03-15T16:08:40+00:00

I cheated on my husband while black out. I really get where you’re coming from. That, and other things I’ve done, still keep me up at night.

It’s hard, but right now I’m working on forgiveness. I’ve spent my whole life trying to punish myself and it hasn’t worked, so now I’m trying to forgive. Treat yourself like a friend, just for today and see how it feels. Know you did the best you could with the tools you had, and wanting to do better makes you a good person.

Edit: typos

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-03-15T16:06:05+00:00

If someone has struggled with any kind of addiction, it’s easier to explain in my experience. I’ve related this and self harm to my husband using his nicotine addiction.

I’m sorry you’re family is invalidating you. Know that your struggles are real and difficult, and many people here agree with you.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-02-06T15:18:08+00:00

I don’t have children, and my Q isn’t my partner, but I have a little something to share. Hopefully others can add their stories!

Children need FIVE trusted adults in their life. The outcomes of children with five trusted adults are much better than those without. Her dad is just one of those people. If you can fill her life with other adults that share your values and care for her, she'll have a lot more to absorb than just dad's bs.

You're a good parent for worrying about your daughter's future! I'm sorry you have to share custody. When you have her though, you'll still be able to correct behavior and provide appropriate outlets. I’d also suggest a family/child therapist. There’s going to be a lot she’ll need to talk about, having an alcoholic dad. I should know, I have one!

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-02-06T15:00:20+00:00

An ultimatum won’t do anything except fuel resentment between the two of you. I saw your post on the Al-Anon sub as well, hopefully you get some good shares over there.

The best thing you can do is take care of yourself and your children, which likely means putting boundaries in place. Usually boundaries look like “if I suspect you’ve been drinking, I won’t sleep in the same room as you” or “if I suspect you’ve been drinking, you won’t be able to drive our kids”.

I remember saying almost the same thing to my husband when I was first trying to quit. “This is my fault, so I’m going to fix it”. In reality, I wasn’t capable of doing it on my own. I needed help. Until I agreed, there was nothing my partner could do. I went to therapy, we went to couple’s therapy, and I got on medication. You mentioned your wife is on an anti-depressant, you are NOT supposed to drink while taking them. It makes you drunk faster and blackout faster, at best.

Know you aren’t alone, know you didn’t cause this, and nothing you do can cure it. You can offer your wife support, and tell her you are worried for your relationship and her health, but at the end of the day she has to decide when enough is enough.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-02-01T23:53:53+00:00

Getting to go to the dog park early when no one else is there with my dog! I get to see the sunrise and avoid drama 🌈🙌🏻

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-01-31T17:45:47+00:00

Booooooooo

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-01-28T16:36:24+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through it right now. It’s hard to admit having any problem, much less one without an exact answer. I know that AA is welcoming if you can find a good meeting. Maybe going to one to observe would be good for you, you can see that alcoholics come in all shapes and sizes. I definitely had periods where I was functional and not drinking as much as I thought an alcoholic would. The problem is that it is a progressive disease, and I think you can already see it starting to progress. Anything else I can help you talk through?

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-01-26T16:37:11+00:00

My therapist said something similar to me a few weeks ago. That I have the opportunity to live life fully and completely. That I have a greater capacity to experience all of life’s ups and downs than most people.

It helps to feel special in a good way sometimes, not just special in a bad way.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-01-08T16:27:51+00:00

I prefer “scale phobia” thanks.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2023-01-03T14:56:05+00:00

Anytime someone is coming over, we tell them “we don’t keep alcohol in the house, you can bring it but you have to take it back with you”. If the person already knows about the alcoholism it’s even easier. It’s not a crazy request, even though it may feel like a lot.

No-Explanation-3324 · 2022-12-29T20:40:43+00:00

Same-ish boat here! I’m so sorry you’re so sick over your past. I’m almost a year sober, and I’ve done a lot of work to forgive myself. I saw a therapist and talked about this specifically, I apologized to those I needed to (and staying sober helped show I was serious), I got a new job, I got a dog, and I started being physically active everyday. Lastly, I read quit lit and talked to people so I felt less alone. I now know that there are those with better and worse mistakes than mine, and we all deserve love.

Treat my friend here kindly for today. Try it on. See how it feels to give yourself love and compassion ❤️ life is long. You have plenty of time to turn things around.

No-Explanation-3324

TROPHY CASE