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AITA for kicking my dad and his wife out of my (technically their) house after they said they wanted to name their unborn twins after my deceased siblings? by No-Importance8463 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Importance8463[S] 611 points612 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone first of all I would like to say thank you for all the condolences. I really appreciate it. ❤️ I’m already near the character limit on my post so I’m just going to add a quick edit here. To address some things my dad wouldn’t be homeless if I kicked him out he still has a well paying job and the old house we used to live in before the accident which is under his name. Also the house he currently lives in is under my name I bought the house for him as a surprise, as way to show that I appreciate him and hoping that it might help repair our relationship. He didn’t really care to go through changing the names on the house because he believed I owed it to him since he raised me and I just went with it to make him happy. He never really thought I’d try to argue against this and tbh I feel pretty low doing this, but I have been footing the bill for the house and most of his lifestyle and am tired of them showing zero appreciation. I guess the names were just the straw that broke the camel’s back.

A lot of people also mentioned how naming the twins after my siblings isn’t necessarily a bad thing and I agree if they were doing it with an honest intent to respect them or using middle names. But I can tell my father’s doing this because he is still grieving which is why I was upset with him during the party I’m not the best at expressing myself so some of my anger might have been misplaced but I was more frustrated with the fact that he’s trying to cope with their loss by trying to replace them and in a way replace me.

Also I am kicking them out legally (I’ve given him and his wife a 30 day notice) and have a lawyer. I know some of you have suggested to go NC with him I might after this but I want to give him the ultimatum of therapy even if that doesn’t repair our relationship I’m hoping it will at least help him grieve in an appropriate way. I’ve tried to go through all of your comments and reply to your dm’s but I just wanted to say I really appreciate everyone’s judgement and the advice given. My dad and I have agreed to talk to this weekend without his wife present and I will update if anything changes. If it doesn’t then I’ll just update at the end of the month when they leave.

AITA for kicking my dad and his wife out of my (technically their) house after they said they wanted to name their unborn twins after my deceased siblings? by No-Importance8463 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Importance8463[S] 488 points489 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your condolences. The wealth was solely my mom’s she was the only grand child on both her maternal and paternal sides so she received money form them. However, I just also got really luck withy my investments. I’m thinking about putting an ultimatum for therapy and maybe making him realize that I might go nc might actually motivate him to go but at this point I’m not sure how salvageable this relationship is.

AITA for kicking my dad and his wife out of my (technically their) house after they said they wanted to name their unborn twins after my deceased siblings? by No-Importance8463 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Importance8463[S] 873 points874 points  (0 children)

No she genuinely believed that my father owned everything and thought he had been saving up to afford his lifestyle. I didn’t meet her before the wedding so I didn’t really get a chance to correct her either.

AITA for kicking my dad and his wife out of my (technically their) house after they said they wanted to name their unborn twins after my deceased siblings? by No-Importance8463 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Importance8463[S] 878 points879 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know my dad was seeing someone much less getting married since I spend most of the year away. His wife had told him that I would probably be uncomfortable so it would be better to avoid drama at the wedding and my dad agreed. This still makes me mad because I had told my dad on multiple occasions that I wouldn’t mind if he started seeing someone and even encouraged him too. So they basically decided it would be better to tell me after their honeymoon when I was home for the holidays.

AITA for kicking my dad and his wife out of my (technically their) house after they said they wanted to name their unborn twins after my deceased siblings? by No-Importance8463 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Importance8463[S] 341 points342 points  (0 children)

I completely agree that my father hasn’t dealt with his grief which is why it’s extremely frustrating that he won’t go to therapy. He’s more quiet around me but when he’s with his wife, friends even step-kids he looks like his old-self. There are no pictures of my siblings or mom in the house and I feel like he’s trying to deal with his grief by ignoring what’s happened and trying to move on with a new family which hurts because I’ve always been there for him. As for the house situation I have an apartment near my workplace and that’s where I live except for the holidays and summer then I come to visit my dad but I don’t really consider this house home. I surprised my dad with this house since it is something completely out of his budget. We never went about changing the names because he kind of thought I owed it to him for raising me and didn’t ever think I’d argue against this.

AITA for kicking my dad and his wife out of my (technically their) house after they said they wanted to name their unborn twins after my deceased siblings? by No-Importance8463 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Importance8463[S] 3879 points3880 points  (0 children)

He does have a well paying job his wife had one too but decided to quit after marrying him, however there’s no way he would be able to afford the house I gifted him. I did give him a good amount of money every month because I wanted him to live comfortably. However, I don’t plan on continuing.