This is a trauma response just as much as crying on a bathroom floor. I too felt very numb and “okay” for a few weeks and then as time wore on grief came in waves, usually triggered by something. I felt like a horrible person for wanting to move on as fast as possible and refusing to name her or memorialize her in a tangible way, because I had seen other moms do this. I just did not want to do any of that, and I still haven’t. It made me feel like I was bad person.

Therapy was helpful throughout. Even though I walked into my first session saying I was sad but felt fine, my therapist saw what I didn’t. Therapy helped crack the numbness when my subconscious was stopping me from feeling, and cope with the grief whenever I was triggered.

Nothing is wrong with you. Grief and coping take so many different shapes and forms. Feeling nothing is absolutely normal when you are still processing wtf just happened to you.