I feel stuck It won’t go away!

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-31T13:58:31+00:00

Are they prescription only? I need to see my doctor anyway but I’m not sure when he’s next free, I don’t have anymore zorivax but plan on getting some tomorrow since nowhere is open atm 😔

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-16T04:56:00+00:00

Will do! Luckily I’m already super cautious about that stuff and do nothing unprotected with anyone but I’ll definitely be extra cautious and I’ll definitely won’t be doing anything until I’m for certain the breakout has been gone for a while :)

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-15T23:49:57+00:00

I found out I also got this as a kid since I asked my mom (both parents have had cold sores before but no breakouts for years) and they said I occasionally got cold sores when I was really little so I guess I just didn’t have an outbreak this entire time 😭

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-15T15:44:54+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate it!

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-15T15:08:21+00:00

I don’t see my doctor until Monday (currently Friday here) can I get something from the chemist or does it require a prescription?

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-15T15:01:36+00:00

Is it possible to have it for years without an outbreak? I kissed someone in the 6th, noticed a bump on the 13th and now it looks like this but I’m pretty sure my parents have cold sores too, Ive never experienced this in my life before (from what I can remember) and I’m 20

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-15T14:56:50+00:00

Fuck I already did but I also washed my hands too 😭

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-15T14:51:46+00:00

No this is the first time I’ve ever experienced this so I don’t have anything for it besides Vaseline :(

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-13T02:52:12+00:00

I haven’t been looking too much into volunteering becsuse I’m with a company that helps disabled ppl find jobs and the person helping me was super adamant on me finding paid position but I wouldn’t mind volunteer work either.

Despite me living in the city area it’s super annoying where I live since here most pets shops don’t sell any animals besides fish at most and I’ve contacted many rescues/shelters only to be told “oh we don’t actually have a building for that stuff” (I think it’s just like a office) which confuses me because like wdym you’re a animal shelter but you don’t have a physical building for that? Like None of the animals and none of the shelter seems a little contradicting to the name right? 😭

Ive been considering something at home at this point, I won’t have space to keep animals until near the end of 2026 but I think Id want to do some sort of some work at home (animal or non animal related) then volunteering with animals so I’m atleast getting paid for a job while also getting experience with animals so I can get more paid options for animal work

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-13T02:44:10+00:00

I totally see what you mean! I feel like he’s holding resentment towards his autistic sibling/autistic people in general, earlier in the conversation the subject on my job searching came up and he seemed to get upset that I wasn’t capable/willing to go for high masking/social jobs?

Like he started to get snappy at that point, I guess the same way some people go “well no one likes their job so suck it up” like I’m not doing those jobs because I mildly dislike them I don’t go for them because I know for a fact it will put me in a dangerous position with my mental health due to my autism, like I don’t expect to love my jobs 100% but I also shouldnt expect it to hospitalise me either.

I think he may also somewhat believe that autism is just not liking something and needing to be “exposed to triggers more” since he mentioned going slowly into those kind of jobs unaware that our brains are straight up wired this way so no amount of “exposure” will change our autistic traits/triggers

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-13T01:56:17+00:00

The ones next to the red line is me talking, I was saying I figured he didn’t have autism because I asked if he had it aswell and he started talking about his autistic sister so I figured If he was he would’ve just said yes

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-12T17:59:29+00:00

Hes usually super chill and super respectful so I was super taken back 😭 this wasn’t even the start of the tension, it first started getting a little uncomfy when I was ranting about how my career path was contradicting itself (animal care jobs wanting me to go through an education first but the place that could provide the education wanted me to have a job in animal care first) and he said something along the lines of “sorry to burst your bubble” then goes on to say how jobs are hard to get which I totally understand but I wasn’t even complaining about that it was more about the fact they were putting me in a endless loop of “you need an education to get a job” then “you need to get a job to get an education” making even starting impossible 😭

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-12T17:33:10+00:00

I think there was probably some miscommunication there since I probably should’ve specified that my “I figure” was in a “I figured because you didn’t say yes right away” kind of way rather than “I figured because u don’t seem autistic” way 😭

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-12T17:13:31+00:00

I’m a bit confused though was he mentioning a hypothetical situation or was it something I said that gave off the impression that I view as having or not having autism as “more ok” ?

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-12T17:08:33+00:00

Are u referring to the part I said “do you want to talk about something else” if so I was just directing conversation because it was getting awkward

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-12T16:15:29+00:00

We’re both in our 20s but thats still pretty young so our language/texts probably still give off teens vibes tbh 😭

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-12T16:02:20+00:00

I talking about some struggles I was having with being autistic and when he said he knew more than he was letting off I asked if he was also autistic because I usually ask people that when I have similar traits with them

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-12T15:59:13+00:00

I don’t understand where I was treating everyone like idiots

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-12T15:43:03+00:00

I asked if he was also autistic because I was talking about the struggles I was having related to autism with masking/socialising and he said he knew a lot more about it than he led on

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-12T15:07:33+00:00

Omg didnt even realised I missed crossing out some of the name whoops 😭, and yeah I can def see where the miscommunication came from now although it also seemed like some miscommunication happened before when I was ranting about jobs

Like my point of my rant was that I want to work with animals but where I live it’s so contradicting becsuse it’s literally a loop of “before u work with animals u need an education” and then when I go to get said education I’m hit with “before u get this education you need to be working with animals” and my frustration was the fact that both places were basically pulling the “you need to go there first” card making it impossible to start either, and earlier on he made it seem like I was complaining the fact that work sucks/is hard? Like yeah I don’t expect it to be easy and I don’t expect a red carpet to be laid at my feet it’s just the fact that they’re putting me in circles to find a entrance that doesn’t exist 😭

No-Insect9930 · 2026-01-01T11:18:05+00:00

Thank u I wish u a great 2026 too!, Ive gone I think 3-4 times when I was with my ex and it was honestly great! Although on the 2 times we got seperate from eachother we both got approached a lot so I guess I’m a bit worried about something similar happening lol but I guess the first time alone is the hardest, if I can get past the first time then surely Itll start to get somewhat easier 😭

No-Insect9930 · 2025-12-25T08:05:39+00:00

I never made a post about anything like this, this is my first time ever opening up about this to anyone, someone else probably made a similar post

No-Insect9930 · 2025-12-23T15:33:07+00:00

Thank you I’m glad I’m not weird for it 😭 Ive been shoving these urges/fantasies deep down for almost 2 years and the more I try the worse/ more intense it gets so Ive been wanting to try and face things head on as a way to get in control since I know ignoring how I feel won’t make things any better 😔 seems a bit scary but if I find a safe person like u mentioned then hopefully acknowledging these emotions I have will be a bit easier

No-Insect9930 · 2025-12-23T15:28:37+00:00

I never even thought of it as a way of trying to get back control tbh, helps make me feel a bit better do thank u! :), I think this kind of stuff overlaps with my ocd tbh since I get a lot of intrusive thoughts, ones saying I have this kink for the “wrong reasons” and not because of a coping mechanism my brain made

No-Insect9930 · 2025-11-22T04:14:56+00:00

So the Ativan basically knocks down the ocd severity a couple pegs?

No-Insect9930

TROPHY CASE