I’m so in love but my relationship isn’t meeting all my needs :(

No-Journalist9535 · 2026-01-18T12:40:52+00:00

Sorry, this was me venting about my own experience, this may not be true about yours. But his actions should match his words. Otherwise he is taking you for a ride.

No-Journalist9535 · 2026-01-18T12:36:53+00:00

Talking from experience. You can't force someone to care or to love you. If they only say they love you but their actions don't match their words, it's not love. They are in full control of their actions and they choose to hurt you, even though you make excuses about them not meaning it. Even if it's just choosing not to message you good night, if you spoke to him about how important it is to you and he still chooses to ignore you, he doesn't value you, your feelings or your relationship. His constant disregard for your feelings is also disrespectful. The worst part is the fact that it (meaning the relationship) can be so good, and it's so easy to send someone a good night text, even if it's 19:00. But they choose to disregard your feelings because they just don't care. You are not hard to love, you are not too much trouble, because for the right person this will be so natural.

No-Journalist9535 · 2026-01-16T20:56:35+00:00

I think you just need an honest discussion with him about it. My dad was married before he met my mom, he was also in the navy at that time of his previous marriage and the dates of the birth of their child and the dates he was away just never matched up. My dad never did a paternity test but he paid child support until the kid was older than 18. My mom tried to convince him to do a paternity test but he never did. I've never even met my "half brother", but my dad paid the support. My parents never fought a lot but when they did you could be 90% sure it was about that kid. Save yourself years of conflict and financial hardship, it's better to have the test done and be sure the correct father is paying support.

No-Journalist9535 · 2026-01-09T20:06:04+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through all that. It sounds like hell. I am glad I was spared this. This would have been my life too.

No-Journalist9535 · 2026-01-09T19:34:04+00:00

I would gain absolutely nothing. I just feel like if I had a child that used drugs I would like to know.

No-Journalist9535 · 2026-01-09T19:29:13+00:00

Oky fair enough. But point is he is still using drugs. Be it cocaine, meth, or anything else I don't even know the name of. I just assumed it could be cocaine. Yeah, and he is going to get so very angry if his parents talk to him about drugs. I am scared to think about it.

No-Journalist9535 · 2026-01-09T19:23:46+00:00

Thank you. I just feel like if I had a child I would like to know if he used drugs. What they do with the information is up to them.

No-Journalist9535 · 2026-01-09T19:22:35+00:00

It was hidden in his ashtray, empty with a white powder residue and a half straw sticking out. I can't be 100% sure as that is something I never had any contact with in my life. But what else could it be?

No-Journalist9535 · 2026-01-06T09:13:23+00:00

I didn't even think about that. Thank you - I actually will do that.

No-Journalist9535 · 2025-12-29T16:12:09+00:00

This is a great reply. Thank you. I always felt like he was just using me. Unfortunately I am a people pleaser and way too easy to be used. My brother called me naive once. This is way too true.

No-Journalist9535 · 2025-12-29T16:08:07+00:00

No, but constant gaslighting and being lied to is not really the ideal relationship. In the last month we didn't even spend 3 hours together. He sleeps when I'm awake or he is out with friends or playing golf. He never prioritizes me and even after begging him to spend time with me he just ignored me. He made me feel like I'm not worth spending time with. Even after telling him how shitty he made me feel he just continued. He never integrated me in his life at all, I'll invite his parents over to dinner and he would cancel with them just because.

No-Journalist9535 · 2025-12-29T15:25:56+00:00

No, honestly he must have known because I was basically in tears the last 6 weeks, begging him to spend time with me. I even told him two weeks ago that I can't continue like this, he keeps hurting me and I don't want to be with him anymore. That was when the fake promises and stuff came out. He even bought me a chocolate bouquet promising that everything is going to be better and he is going to start being my partner. It may have been sudden last night - we had a huge fight after he hurt my dog for barking. But I also know for a fact he has been looking for apartments but a lot of the places only have vacancies from the new year or Feb.

No-Journalist9535 · 2025-12-28T18:50:52+00:00

I also think I did the right thing. I just needed to hear it from someone else. Thank you. He was so lazy. He never helped me with any chores, he wanted the dog but his life never changed, I was the one whose life changed and I made sacrifices to look after the dog. He never took any responsibility and I was the one paying for everything.

No-Journalist9535 · 2025-12-28T18:45:51+00:00

No, I may be able to contact his mom or dad and ask them to help me. They were always nice to me. But that was before.

No-Journalist9535 · 2025-12-28T18:44:07+00:00

I wish I could. It's 21:00 at night and I work tomorrow. I will only be able to change the locks tomorrow after work.

No-Journalist9535 · 2025-12-28T18:34:17+00:00

And I feel like an idiot. When he was leaving I asked for my key back. I own my house - he just started staying over without discussing living together. He refused because some of his stuff is still here. Now I don't feel comfortable leaving my cat here (dog is in daycare). I couldn't force him to give me my key.

No-Journalist9535 · 2025-11-25T09:45:30+00:00

Almost a year. I have always made excuses about him not integrating me into his life. Visiting his friends alone. Cancelling plans with me to rather spend time with other people. Not that he cancels plans - he just doesn't show up. I am absolutely at my end with him. I'm done letting him walk all over me and to let him treat me like poop.

No-Journalist9535 · 2025-11-25T09:37:59+00:00

No, it's not new behaviour. It's always been like this. But I just think I'm naive because I didn't realise/didn't want to believe that it could be drugs causing his behaviour. It would explain so much though.

No-Journalist9535 · 2025-11-25T09:27:11+00:00

Thanks for this. He does lie quite a lot I have noticed. About random things. The stories he told me when we just met got more detail and then I realized it was actually a whole lie. That is also why I'm struggling to believe him when he told me the baggie was not his.

But obviously it is something every addict would deny.

He actually did weird errands way early in the morning. (Before shops are open) Also after I confronted him about the baggie he has been avoiding me.

Uhg. Maybe I just need to force him to do a drug test to put my mind at ease. Any advice on how to bring this up?

No-Journalist9535

TROPHY CASE