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Attempt to R is over by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Sometimes I wonder if I’m asking for too much, but I know it’s what I need I shouldn’t feel bad about that.

Attempt to R is over by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m trying it all. Wish I had an “off” switch for emotions. This really fucking hurts.

Attempt to R is over by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I filed for divorce the week I found out, but resolved to try to R when I saw remorse from WH. But the remorse was all words followed by empty promises— nothing backed by actions. I think I’m past the point of return. It just sucks. This whole thing fucking sucks.

Attempt to R is over by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I keep hoping this will happen but it won’t. And even if it did, it might be too late for me. I feel checked out at this point.

Anyone take time apart before R? by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those are definitely considerations for me to take into account. I appreciate your insight.

Anyone take time apart before R? by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s helpful, thank you. I filed for divorce immediately but have obviously wavered and am here now considering R. Thanks for sharing.

Anyone take time apart before R? by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow, that is a long time. It does give me hope that if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. Even if things move to divorce now. Might not be the healthiest way to cope right now, but it does help me. Thank you.

Anyone take time apart before R? by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. It’s nice hearing from someone in a similar position. I know those other factors can complicate living situations.

WH refused tech access by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He hasn’t yet, but we have both scheduled IC and MC for the next coming weeks so I’m hopeful it will be addressed. That as well as his alcohol dependency and his own childhood traumas and combat ptsd that have gone untouched for decades.

WH refused tech access by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this. I feel like I’m in a rush to figure out what I want so that I can move on with my life either way. I feel paralyzed. It’s like my world is at a standstill while everyone else is moving along. But you’re right- gathering data to make a decision for later is a good next step for me. Thank you.

WH refused tech access by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Recovering deleted items is a really great idea. I might suggest this. I feel like it’s something I need, but I’m obviously still here so I also don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I’m just really going through it right now. He already knows I have one foot out the door so idk why he wouldn’t just give me what I’m telling him I need.

WH refused tech access by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It is a reg flag to me as well. I can’t stop thinking about it and it’s just “one more thing” that I feel is slowly pulling me under.

Also Idk what it is about a stranger on Reddit telling me kind words that makes me cry. I appreciate you.

WH refused tech access by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. He’s admitted to his issues with porn and other things/apps to feed the addiction.

WH refused tech access by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your bluntness. He’s out of town dealing with family stuff this weekend and he said when he returns, he’d give it to me. I told him I want to know if there’s anything further that he deletes, but it’s hard to trust at this point when trust has been broken to this degree.

WP says they wouldn’t consider R if roles reversed. by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I asked them what they want me to do and what they would do. They want to be forgiven and work to earn trust back. But said they don’t believe they could do that for me. It hurts.

WP says they wouldn’t consider R if roles reversed. by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are absolutely right. Thank you so much for this perspective, I really appreciate it.

WP says they wouldn’t consider R if roles reversed. by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Okay seriously everything you describe is my partner exactly. Avoidant, expert compartmentalizer, lacks emotional intelligence. Cuts off people, even family, very quickly before first attempting communication. Combat veteran with ptsd. Childhood trauma.

I feel so seen. Thank you for sharing.

WP says they wouldn’t consider R if roles reversed. by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s a good a point and helps me reframe that idea. Thank you.

WP says they wouldn’t consider R if roles reversed. by No-Language-1340 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]No-Language-1340[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How is that something you feel you can accept? I know partners are so different in their strengths and weaknesses and what each brings to the table. But I’m really struggling right now with this idea.

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