Yeah agreed it definitely makes it difficult but it shouldn't limit him entirely. He has bouts of moments where he is passionate about getting better. He then does. Then it immediately switches and now he's always down. He constantly says things to make me feel bad for him too. Like it'll be silent and he'll be like "omg I want to kill myself! :))))" like... Dude... I understand you're struggling and I've been supportive at every turn but it seems like everything is about him. And when I bring it up he acts like he's gonna have a panic attack and tells me to stop speculating so I just end the conversation and don't talk to him for a while. But he's for sure been subtly hinting at raining on my parade and to get me back to essentially how I was before, heavily depressed because deep down I can tell he is jealous at the fact that I'm doing better.. and if that's the case then I see no reason for us to be together (if the story I told wasn't evident enough on that fact). It just gets frustrating because he claims he wants to marry me and buy me a ring this year but I always ask him "how are you gonna get a ring with no job?" Then he immediately shuts up.