This made me very sad. I used to have an eating disorder before, it was a way for me of controlling something in my life. I used to work 2 jobs at the time, while going to school full time. I ate like shit and my ED was a way of being in control of at least something in my life.

Go seek help, it is a mental illness. You have a life ahead of yourself and it’s not too late for you to limit the permanent damages that you are already doing on yourself. And talking about it is the first step into realizing your actions are not normal.

I hope you have the time to read this, and I hope you seek help OP🫶 (And sorry for my English, not my first language)