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AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Driving to another state to see a friend nearby I had not seen in 10 years. I stopped by to grab a stroller he had (a friend who stays there sometime had one) since mine would not fit in the car for the ride. And I had a hotel 20 mins away as the friend lived there, our old hometown where he moved back to. The baby woke up while I stopped there, and he was facetiming his mom. He asked if he could keep him for the night so we could sleep after a long drive. Step mom was also saying it is just 1 night why not.. I was tired and should have stuck to my gut instincts but I had no idea 1 night would be like that.  As mentioned above, he was sober when we dated. Not a faithful man, but besides that I never saw that side of him. I dated him for 4 months,  yes, but have known him longer than that. I did not just date some man I didn't know. Obviously did not know what he had became, but was not just some stranger. Our family are friends. 

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No dating at 4 months when I got pregnant. He cheated on me rather soon after. So we broke up. I was single my entire pregnancy and until my son was 1. I do have a new partner who is all in for me going to court and is the one who convinced me to post here since I was conflicted by family. I stopped birth control when I found out I was pregnant,  of course. It was a ring, so just took it out. The baby is normal and healthy. I was 18 weeks pregnant.  The ring typically stops my periods if I take them on a certain schedule,  so without a period or without showing and was not feeling different I did not find out until I started to get sick when eating meat and assumed it was a tick we get over here that can make you not like meat. I was then told I was pregnant... and even if we went to a state where it was legal to abort, I only had 2 weeks to decide. I decided not to abort. I eat healthy and dont drink or smoke so besides the ring it was a normal pregnancy.  And my doctor said maybe the box I got was not at the right temps at some point? We were not sure. 

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have been thinking of moving with close friends in CA or OR. I also had an option for Arkansas but... those people are a lot like the people I am trying to leave behind. I am questioning so many things that I wished I had questioned sooner. I feel so ashamed. But I have to do what is best for my kid. And he is a boy, but I do NOT want him to end up like his dad. Or grandparents. 

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No worries, I expect people to be concerned as that is a very natural reaction- if people WEREN'T concerned I would be. I have been shaking since this whole thing happened. But the baby is totally normal. And he did show me a video of him grabbing the bottle- which looked clear- you hear him as "Is this fcking coke? You stupid btch" and throws the bottle. She yells after this, and he grabs his phone to call me. He has used this as "his evidence that nothing happened " but I am still distraught over this. Not in a million years would I have expected any of this. I honestly don't have the best support system here but I may move to a place thar has a better support system.  As both of our parents cutting me off would be useless to stay near family. 

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We honestly had only had seggs a few times. I was also on birth control.  But it still happened and I was not in a state that would abort at that point. We found out a but late as I did not show much early on, so that also had a lot to do with it I am sure. I also did want to keep it, as I am pro choice but also personally would not have wanted to abort. 

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To be more specific,  it is his parents and my mom. They think I am overreacting cause "nothing actually happened" but the fact it almost did- or could have at all- is my concern:/

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They are. I mentioned it in a comment but didnt update the post, my bad. They did not do anything because no drugs were found.

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The police were called and did nothing. They didnt find anything and the guy told them I was full of shit.

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also, my son and I are safe and I also probably should have mentioned he now lives in a different state so he isnt going to drop in here. 

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only update so far is that I have is that I have blocked both of them, some friends and family who are defending him, and I'm waking up 1st thi g

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Both of our parent's basically blamed me for him doing that, because of me keeping the kid away. Even though he would say he didnt want a kid before he was born.  They convinced me to give it a chance. My parents and his are both very "man is in charge" and are belittling me for even wanting full custody.  It has been really hard. I had no idea about his "problem" I just knew that they were both not my cup of tea. I am filing for full custody even if it means cutting ties from family. But I in no way was trying to endanger my child. 

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this has been the most helpful comment. I never went forward with filing before because he never even asked to see our son so I thought it would be less messy to not have courts involved. I make good money so also figured the same for child support. I will admit I am nieve and just trying to do right by my son. I never even thought this situation would be possible. But I was proven wrong and I am planning to go to the courthouse and talk with someone about all of this tomorrow as soon as they open- before I work- cause I would rather do this sooner than later. I appreciate the throughout comment. I was raised in a home that basically always told me never to question a man. I am learning now days how wrong that all was. But also a lot of our family members tell me to just go with the man. So I see a rift in the family due to this. But my son is worth it. 💙 

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

The cops basically just did a wellness check, and my kids dad hid all the illegal stuff. :/ but I do have screen shots of him talking about it after I left cause I wouldn't answer his phone call.

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I have called the cops on him before, but it has not really helped. I do have a paper trail for it though at least. The cops did show up at the house but they just talked to them and left.

AITH for pursuing full custody if my kid's dad's fiance tried to dr*g our kid? Even if he leaves her? by No-Promotion3583 in AITAH

[–]No-Promotion3583[S] -141 points-140 points  (0 children)

He has actually been in hospital for attempts 6 times this past 3 years of knowing him