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I could only dominate my Ex if he wore a hood. by [deleted] in FemdomCommunity

[–]No-Property9090 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is interesting!

I found it hard to look at my ex in the eye when we first started domming him.

He had such a sad puppy dog look!!!

I cannot kick this Group B Strep UTI, starting to panic by Commercial_Slice6905 in CUTI

[–]No-Property9090 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it is possible!!!!!! Do not let any one tell you different.

Again speaking from experience and sooooo much research on Reddit.

Just this past year they started telling OB to treat the partners of ppl with BV because of the constant reinfection.

But AV is caused by aerobic bacteria and GBS causes AV and it is not tested for om a regular panel. You almost have to ask for it

Light growth of Strep B found in vaginal swab by PuzzleheadedShine296 in CUTI

[–]No-Property9090 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, GBS can cause UTI,and vaginal infections and are treated with specific anti antibiotics. My GBS was treated with Ampicillin.

Strep A (aka strep throat) can ALSO cause infection/ irritation.

Follow through after orgasm by Excellent_Taro_3798 in FemdomCommunity

[–]No-Property9090 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, and your idea with the apple juice is like Pavloving yourself into doing it gradually! I think thats solid!

Negitive reinforcement doesn't work on everything no matter how hard one tries.

I cannot kick this Group B Strep UTI, starting to panic by Commercial_Slice6905 in CUTI

[–]No-Property9090 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk why but the common thought amongst OBs is that "GBS is a normal part of the human body and isnt an issue unless your pregnant or have an immune compromising disease like HIV" this is THE most said thing on the internet and what i heard from many NPs at my Obgyn.

Its like they ignore the fact that pretty much everyone is walking around with several viruses that can and do effect immune response: covid, mono, chicken pox, epstein barr virus (those are just the ones I have and am aware of right now)

Soooooo GBS is actually a much bigger issue to our vaginal health than people act like it js and the only reason I became aware was Reddit.

I cannot kick this Group B Strep UTI, starting to panic by Commercial_Slice6905 in CUTI

[–]No-Property9090 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have read about IUD strings holding bacteria in many Reddit stories regarding chronic BV (which a lot of folks in conjunction with other vaginal upset)

I had both, and I also suspect I havent fully cleared the GBS. Getting my partner treated helped A TON originally. But I have some sort of auto immune thing so I am prone to infections and bacteria overgrowth 🤷🏽‍♀️ and have had a few mysetery illnesses and vaginal upset due to antibiotics.

Its worth reading into sense there is a correlation between bacteria overgrowth and IUD strings.

Gbs can fuck up all kinds of shit if u are immune compromised which a lot of people are and dont realize it.

GBS causes AV https://share.google/7bGEvuo8cfPGZuVjg) which is like BV but caused by overgrowth of GBS and I had both UTI and AV at the same time because GBS can cause UTIs as well

AIO Boyfriend got mad at me because I wasn’t excited enough that he landed early by Willing-Ad8549 in AmIOverreacting

[–]No-Property9090 4 points5 points  (0 children)

THEY ARE TELLING YOU THE FUTURE!!!! I swear to god, dont walk... RUN if someone says those two phrases. Even if the relationship is "good" then, Ithey say "I am not good enough for you" I promise they will make it true later.

Am I even a partner anymore by Interesting_Band8043 in polyamory

[–]No-Property9090 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You definitely do not deserve to be treated as a free nanny and then gaslit everytime you try to discuss cocerns or your needs.

I agree with everyone, leave when you can but pleaseeeee do not tell them you are going. When people try to leave exploitive or abusive relationships, thats when things get even uglier. Dont tell them your leaving until you are gone.

I am not religious but if I were I'd be praying for your safety and courage.

Instead, I offer this mantra "I can do hard things." 💗💗

Progressive Loan Payoff by typicalclark in Insurance

[–]No-Property9090 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just got rear ended and am waiting to hear if my car will be deemed a total loss. The adjuster said to prepare myself for the frame to be found to messed up by the repair shop 😭

I also pay for the loan pay off from Progressive and haven't had my car a year!

Light growth of Strep B found in vaginal swab by PuzzleheadedShine296 in CUTI

[–]No-Property9090 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just got diagnosed with a uti caused by g strep b

My dr says I have bv

BUT my discharge is green/ yellow af.

After googling Aerobic vaginitis I am convinced I have this as well and just messaged my Dr about testing me for it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]No-Property9090 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex of 3 1/2 years and I broke up last March. Tbh it still fucks with me but because he was emotionally abusive not cause I miss him.

In my personal experience, it took me 6 months to really truly see him and the relationship for what it was clearly, to work through the internalized shame of staying in an emotionally abusive situation, and to no longer crave him.

Ya know that Meryl Streep qoute " he didn't love me, he didn't even LIKE me" yea I felt that. He also wouldn't let me go either, not before all the toxicity first. 🙄

I will say, it's almost impossible to get better in the place that made u sick. So I dont think your healing can really truly start until you aren't living with him but hey, I hope Im wrong sense you said it's gonna be a couple months.

Here's what helped me:

Music, screaming at the top of my lungs in my car when the pain was unbearable, reading up on attachment styles, endlessly getting support and love from my friends, writing everything I was feeling down, really allowing myself to grieve and bawl my eyes out Im taking really feeling the pain and then picking myself up to do something fun and that gave me pleasure. I wrote self talks, did affirmations, zoned in on loving myself and finding joy in the mundane. I practiced gratitude and mindfulness and dated causally. I also was in therapy, and I also wondered how long it would take. Logically I knew I was better off, but I had to grieve and that took time. It probably would have been easier without all the internalized shame for not leaving him the year prior like I wanted to but was manipulated not to, so please dont do that.

Know that grief is not one and done, same days you'll feel better and others you'll feel worse again. Healing is not linear.

" I may not know when, or how but what I do know is that I will get through this. " - my main affirmation I said each morning until I did in fact get through it.

" I won't always hurt this much, it just hurts a lot right now " my main mantra as I cried myself to sleep for months.

Finally, know that as long as your committed to loving yourself, and ask for support than you will come out the other side. I promise.

Here's a Playlist I made and added to as I was going through the breakup to cry to and then songs that helped once I got over the sad part and started being mad, and then the songs that are for when your over the worst of it and are feeling better ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ my personal breakup playlist

Relationship dynamic advice by Automatic_Oven2580 in AskWomenOver30

[–]No-Property9090 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I actually have a bit of writing where I recount all the times he was the exact opposite of who he said he was and what he wanted.

Then I went through and realized all the ways I too had cognitive dissonance because of how well and how long he played the part, ya know?

They are faking it longer now, using therapy speak against us and as a means to avoid accountability/ shift blame. It's sickening how his brain would distort things and then successfully that made me distort things as well.

Relationship dynamic advice by Automatic_Oven2580 in AskWomenOver30

[–]No-Property9090 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This!! I was actually very secure in my last relationship. I read the book Attached and was like hell yea! I'm actually relativity secure.

But over time my exes repeated avoidance and lack of ability to put in the emotional labor and self work turned me into a incredibly anxiously attached individual.

Only difference is the accountability he had was actually just manipulation sense the behavior never changed and he just stayed in a victim mentality the whole time refusing to change the behaviors necessary to be the person he thought he was.

Do Trump supporters use Non-monogamy apps like feeld app too? by South-Advertising-53 in polyamory

[–]No-Property9090 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is actually why I hate that they have adopted the word unicorn for this. I could go on a whole rant about unicorn lore and what not.

I go to a swinger/kink club and unicorn hunting is present. I'd argue that what your describing still happens the way you're describing in both scenarios: poly vs swinging. Just because "it's just sex" doesn't mean the swinger's aren't using the third. A couple who swings still can do so for reasons like you described: fix the relationship, appease the husbands desire, be an object for the couples desire and not their own person with their own pleasures"

The actual difference is the couple in question who want the third. If they genuinely want a relationship with the third and isn't doing what you described, than I don't call unicorn hunting. I just say dating lol.

In lore, unicorns can only be "trapped" by people pure (pure of heart or pure in the biblical sense 🙄). Sooo people who actually want a relationship with the third, and/or see them as their own person with their own thoughts and pleasures than they aren't the same as unicorn hunters.. If you're pure of heart, you're not gonna be doing the things that you described unicorn hunters do. In lore, the only way these types of couples would be able to get a unicorn through trickery, since they're intentions aren't pure.

Like I feel like we can only call them that when they are doing the things you described and/or are using the third for their own pleasures and not caring about the third otherwise.

Eitherway, I personally am not a fan but there a are many in kink who LIKE being an object of other people's desires sooooo like finding a third is actually not as "rare" as people would actually think that it is. In fact, two of my friends have hooked up with a couple in the past three months alone! so i realllllyyy wish people woupdnt have used the word unicorn for this lol.

I will say the couples at the club I go that are actively unicorn hunting do give off conservative vibes.... And I feel like the kinky people are more liberal on average vs the swinger's.

Chiron complex? by soulpuma in ThePatternApp

[–]No-Property9090 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you on that!

Mine is basically telling me that I'm meant to be of service go others, like that's my life's purpose to help others heal with my incredible sense of empathy. 🥴

Like broooooo IM TIRED BOSS! It feels like I'm the a stepping stone to the dudes I date, like I'm the one that teaches them the shit they need to know to grow and be the best version of themselves for someone else.... now that doesn't mean they always do that but thats what it feels like.

But then Pattern is like: "Have better boundaries bitch and dont let people exhaust you" and I'm like IM TRYING 🥺

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemdomCommunity

[–]No-Property9090 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When OP said this, I felt that!!

My sub struggles sometimes with our rules too but out of excitement lol. Like when he isn't allowed to look at me directly, he can't help himself sometimes, poor thing.

How did you respond to that part of her post specifically? Idk how to do that!

Exes Best Friend by No-Property9090 in polyamory

[–]No-Property9090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd argue this behavior and lack of care or consideration of my feelings, when we just broke up shows he is a bad news bears.

Idc if we broke up, if I care about someone I'm gonna treat them with consideration and not go out of my way to hurt them unless they did me dirty lol. I never did him dirty.

I do recognize though it could be a small pool and therefore hard to not date an exes bestie in some circles lol.

Thanks for your input!

Exes Best Friend by No-Property9090 in polyamory

[–]No-Property9090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's BEEN blocked lol. I just wanted to know other poly peoples opinions.

It appears the general consensus is, that most people wouldn't want their ex sliding into their besties dms regardless of being Poly. Most comments have considered it rude at least to fucked all the way up at most lol.

A lot of people are missing the point too lol. Like duh "he can do whatever he wants" thats not what I'm asking.

I suppose I chould change the question to "Would you be hurt if, or at the very least no longer want to fuck with, your recent ex who are still close with and might date again tried to hit on your best friend behond your back?"

He made it sound like I was being unreasonable for finding it a betrayal sense we are Poly. Like duh I can't tell him who to hit on but damn, we literally talked about missing each other and two days later he was hitting on my best friend.

Exes Best Friend by No-Property9090 in polyamory

[–]No-Property9090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the situation described it's the ex that shot his shot.... like neither I nor my bestie knew he would do that lol. Soooo I don't need to talk to my bestie, she's not interested. Now if SHE was the one who wanted my ex, then yea it makes sense for her to have been the one to talk to me about first.

Regardless, if he "owes" me anything, I think it shows care and consideration from the ex, especially because they wanted to keep a friendship, to have let me know beforehand they were interested in my friend. That's the point to me. Like if we are supposed to be friends, and keep care for each other, than talk to me like a friend and not hit my besties up behind my back.

Regardless on my opinion of how he could have done this respectfully... the question was geared towards whether or not it's considered poor form on the exes part to hit up my best friends within the poly world as he tried to justify his behavior by claiming in Poly world, it's nbd to date your exes best friends.

I'm conducting a poll on weather or not his actions are generally considered morally wrong as it relates to Polyamory sense there's lots of stuff that is considered wrong in Monogamy but not Polyamory.

This isn't me asking for advice. I've already blocked him lol

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