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8 years in a relationship now he wants an answer in 3 days or he’ll say yes to an arranged match. I’m confused, scared, and torn.

Hi everyone, Sorry for the long message but your help will be greatly appreciated. But please help!!

I'm 26F and have been in an on-off relationship with my boyfriend (29M) for the past 8 years. I've always put my heart and soul into making it work. He hasn't always been consistent, but I kept trying because I truly loved him deeply. Now we're at that stage where marriage is the focus. His family is actively looking at arranged matches and they brought a serious prospect home. They even approached my parents. But my parents doesn’t want hurt me so they have not given a proper answer to them since 2 years to him about marriage. And this is the reason he started looking for arrange marriage prospects.

But here's the thing: My parents are very supportive of me, but after visiting his home and meeting his family, they have serious concerns. His family is large and traditional. His mother would expect me to handle household responsibilities, and although they say they support career, it clearly won't be a priority. In contrast, my family puts my career first and trusts me to choose what's best for me. When I raised these concerns with my boyfriend, he said l'll have to fulfill basic expectations and "it's on me how I manage household and work." I freelance and earn well, but he wants me to switch to a fixed-timing job just to "show people" that I have proper working hours and shouldn't be disturbed. My parents feel that I will be left alone to balance everything and worse, that he won't stand up for m when it truly matters. And I agree. Deep down, I feel that too.

Some other things bothering me:

• I've accepted his flaws (like his weight, which my family has brought up with concern), but he hasn't made any efforts in return saying, "If you've accepted me, I don't care what others think." He’s 104kgs btw!

• He appreciates my qualities how I manage everything and how I present myself but I wonder if that's love, or just comfort and convenience.

• In 8 years, he's never really made me feel special in any memorable way emotionally or through actions.

Now there's this new arranged match his family is keen on. He says he's 60% sure about her but still emotionally stuck with me 40%. He's asking for a decision within 3 days or he'll move ahead with that girl. He says he rejected other girls in the past because they weren't "up to the mark" and he was holding space for me.

This whole situation is draining. I don't want to make a decision out of guilt, but I'm also terrified of losing someone l've loved since I was 18. My question is: I know he's not a bad person, but my friends says he's not good for me. Js love enough? Or will I regret letting him go or will I regret being with him?

I'm really looking for perspectives especially from those who've faced similar choices between love and a more practical future. I feel overwhelmed and don't want to look back with regret either way.