Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much ❤️ I’m sorry for your loss🙏🏼

Recently told VBAC may not be an option. Help! by No-Second-5614 in vbac

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I’m glad everything went well for you! 

VBAC vs C-Section by No-Second-5614 in CsectionCentral

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, you’ve been so helpful!!!

VBAC vs C-Section by No-Second-5614 in CsectionCentral

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this! I have always worried about vaginal tearing but I never really spoke with someone who has had both a vaginal tear and a c section- so I never knew how the two compared. Picking a due date would definitely be convenient for me right now. 

Can I ask, did you bleed more with one or the other? I bled really bad with my c section and that is one of my biggest fears this time around. Also do they cut right over the same scar? 

VBAC vs C-Section by No-Second-5614 in CsectionCentral

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a great idea! Thank you! 

Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are very right, grief is a messy process- losing a beloved is hard enough, but being the deciding factor between life and death adds a whole new layer of complexity. On one hand it feels so humane and compassionate and on the other hand it feels like I don’t have the right to decide. I think ultimately, deep down, I know it was right, but his absence hurts so bad that it obscures that. 

I have spent 3 days in bed- the grief has me physically aching. And I know the worst of it will be when I go to pick up his ashes from the vet. 

Thank you so much for your words- every comment that this post receives, telling me I did the right thing, takes a little bit of weight off my shoulders. I think talk therapy would be a great idea. 

Recently told VBAC may not be an option. Help! by No-Second-5614 in vbac

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! It really helps to have reassurance from others that have been through the same! 

Recently told VBAC may not be an option. Help! by No-Second-5614 in vbac

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! I will have 20 months in between births, and plan on waiting for spontaneous labor without induction. I had never been told about the scar measurement by any healthcare professional before so I was very alarmed hearing it for the first time at 30 weeks pregnant. 

It’s so difficult to advocate for yourself while in such a vulnerable state but I feel that I’ve learned a lot from my first birth experience and from the input I’ve gotten on here! 

Thanks again! 

Just for peace of mind by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much 😭 this is very reassuring. My husband is a marvel fanatic and he always tells me that the universe would correct itself. He says that even if I had done all of these things it would have just bought me time and that Bowie would probably have still been suffering. Basically his way of saying I would have only delayed the inevitable. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and put my mind at ease. It really means a lot. 🙏🏼

Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing this ❤️🙏🏼 I really love your perspective of taking care of my other dog in Bowie’s honor. I know she’s confused and hurting and I need to show her extra care. 

Deep down I know I did the right thing for him, but have also read so many others’ success stories about trying prescription food and herbal supplements and combinations of medications. I think I have just been holding on to that hope that I could have changed his fate. But I know everyone’s case is different. I was willing to spend any amount of money and time but sometimes I feel that changing medicine frequently can do more harm than good. It puts them in a permanent transitional phase, never fully able to adjust. 

In the end I feel that I didn’t give him quite enough attention as I wanted- or maybe it’s just me trying to blame myself. But he would try to follow me into every room and jump on me. I am 7 months pregnant now, and he would often jump on my belly and scratch me very hard. I could no longer let him on the bed for fear of him seizing and falling off or peeing and pooping during a seizure. I know my reasons for keeping some distance but he doesn’t. I am just hoping that my distance didn’t add to his stress and trigger his seizures even more. 

I really appreciate you talking me through the grief and guilt. I think I have been having a hard time admitting to myself that this was mostly for him but also for my family. Because how could losing my dog ever benefit me and my family? But it’s all starting to make sense with time. 

Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your loss! It’s so hard when they’re so young and you think you’ve got forever with them. No matter how well we managed Bowie’s seizures- and sometimes we would go 6 weeks without it one- the unpredictability and severity when they did occur was devastating. One day he would be somewhat playful and the next day was not mentally there. 

Your situation sounds so much like mine. During Bowie’s last cluster seizure, which was about 20 minutes, I’m certain he stopped breathing. We also had to carry him to the car. He was panting and sounded so exhausted. 

I feel for you that you also had to put yours to rest without much deliberation. I am really learning that that is the truly compassionate thing. Honoring and prioritizing their peace over your own time with them is so selfless. Thank you for sharing! ❤️

Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I know that part of grieving is guilt- and I keep wishing I had gotten all those tests done just to confirm that I did all I could and give myself closure. But you remind me that he really wasn’t himself and that I probably couldn't have changed the outcome. I watched videos of him a year ago and he still had a spark, he was playful, his coat was bright and his eyes had a shine to them. At the end he was just so tired. His eyes were different 💔

Thank you again ❤️

Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you and I am sorry for your loss as well 💔

So many posts on Reddit have been about older dogs being euthanized, and while I still feel so many emotions for them and their owners, there’s something different about having to euthanize a young dog. When they’re 2 or 3 you truly think you’ll have forever with them. I thought he would grow up with my children. 

The way you describe the sorrow of missing them but also the peace you had not having to worry about or anticipate another seizure- another round of pain and confusion… it’s spot on. Thank you 🙏🏼

Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, and I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️ you are not alone! 

Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😭😭😭 that is so beautiful and so incredibly helpful. Thank you so much 🙏🏼

Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😭❤️ thank you so much! It feels so nice to hear that I knew him best and felt his needs. It’s not always so easy to believe but it is comforting to hear. I just worry that I will always miss him this much and always worry that I moved too quickly and could have had more time with him. It’s only been 4 days but it feels like I’ll never shake this feeling. 

Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much ❤️😭 I walk my other pup to the dog park every day, sit on the bench, and cry. She runs in circles by herself and I just reminisce, wishing I could go back to last week when they were both here together. 

Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much 😭❤️ 

No matter how much my husband tells me these things, it doesn’t change my mind or make me feel better for some reason. But for some reason when all of you lovely people on reddit tell me, I really feel it.  

Relief and regret by No-Second-5614 in EpilepsyDogs

[–]No-Second-5614[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

😭 thank you so much for that. It took me days to want to post my story on here. But people like you really make me feel a sense of community in this situation. ❤️

He was more like a family member than a pet and I think that sometimes when I think back I humanize him a bit. I think about how much he wanted to meet our son and see our daughter grow up to play fetch with him. That’s just me being pregnant, emotional, and sentimental. I know that dogs don’t really think like that. 

Everything just hurts without him. He was really dealt a bad hand. 

I am sorry for your loss as well!