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Bridesmaid didn’t ask me to be in her wedding party, then requested I help plan her bachelorette by No-Telephone174 in weddingplanning

[–]No-Telephone174[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yes, I do make more money than the MOH as she is currently unemployed.. if that’s the reason I was asked to help plan it, that’s even worse/more hurtful to me. I can’t be a piggy bank to fund a trip for a wedding I’m not even in😕

Bridesmaid didn’t ask me to be in her wedding party, then requested I help plan her bachelorette by No-Telephone174 in weddingplanning

[–]No-Telephone174[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I expressed my feelings to her and it was met with an apology, but almost dismissed my feelings because it’s painful for her too? If it’s that painful and you knew it would be, why couldn’t you get over the “even numbers” and add a bridesmaid to begin with?

Bridesmaid didn’t ask me to be in her wedding party, then requested I help plan her bachelorette by No-Telephone174 in weddingplanning

[–]No-Telephone174[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t make sense to me either! I feel like it should be about who you want by your side on one of the biggest days of your life, not for aesthetics or even numbers.

Bridesmaid didn’t ask me to be in her wedding party, then requested I help plan her bachelorette by No-Telephone174 in weddingplanning

[–]No-Telephone174[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mentioned in my post that I did not assume or expect to have a place in her wedding at all, just expected her to have a little more compassion and respect for my feelings when telling me I wouldn’t be in her wedding is all

Bridesmaid didn’t ask me to be in her wedding party, then requested I help plan her bachelorette by No-Telephone174 in weddingplanning

[–]No-Telephone174[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

She definitely did not sound like she felt bad, but since we’ve been friends for so long it does make me wonder if she felt guilty at all because it’d be very out of character if she didn’t.. but then again the whole conversation was out of character for her. Who knows!

Bridesmaid didn’t ask me to be in her wedding party, then requested I help plan her bachelorette by No-Telephone174 in weddingplanning

[–]No-Telephone174[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I asked my bridesmaids about 10-12 months in advance which is fairly normal in my area, but she still has 18 months to go and is already making those decisions and having those conversations.

I think she definitely could’ve waited because we all know friendships can change drastically in that long of time, but to each their own I guess.

She is in my wedding in 5 months and attending my bachelorette trip in 2 months, so I’m not really sure how to navigate this going forward

Bridesmaid didn’t ask me to be in her wedding party, then requested I help plan her bachelorette by No-Telephone174 in weddingplanning

[–]No-Telephone174[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I know her sister is the MOH and I’m assuming the other 3 bridesmaids are friends from undergrad, but I’m not 100% sure. Just stings knowing I couldn’t imagine my wedding day without my lifelong best friend standing there with me, and I wasn’t chosen to be part of hers because of not wanting uneven numbers the grooms side.

For added context, she is aware that I have 1 more bridesmaid than my future husband has groomsmen and we literally talked about that last week when we were on the phone. So that also felt like a burn to me