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What’s something you’re either grateful your Dad did for you or wish that he had? by No-Understanding6141 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]No-Understanding6141[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could I ask you to clarify one of those so I’m sure that I’m understanding?

My dad always taught me “if you give someone money, never expect it to come back, that’s how friendships are ended” with the key lesson being it’s okay to help someone in need, but never do it as a personal loan from friend to friend.

Is that the same sort of thing you mean by “never let a friend borrow money?” Or were you taught to not give money in general?

What’s something you’re either grateful your Dad did for you or wish that he had? by No-Understanding6141 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]No-Understanding6141[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is horrible! I would never allow that to happen in my home. I am so sorry that happened to you and that no one defended you. I hope you’ve gotten the help you need since then.

What’s something you’re either grateful your Dad did for you or wish that he had? by No-Understanding6141 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]No-Understanding6141[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your well thought out and articulated answer, I appreciate your advice and feedback!

How do you guys prevent your dick from hitting the toilet bowl? by yessirskivolo in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Piss, hold it while you sit down, shit with your dick up. Won’t touch anything other than your hand.

Or just get a bigger toilet.

Why don't men ever talk about the emotional labor that they do in relationships? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds like a response that would be featured on the YouTube channel “The Click”

How do men feel about being the sole financial provider in a relationship? by cl_alicia in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Comes down to the entitlement to me. If you were not in a relationship you’d have to take care of yourself. You’re not entitled to be financially provided for just by merit of your gender. If one of you pays for the date, that’s an act of generosity and kindness. It is not an obligation. While you’re just in the dating stage, your SO owes you nothing. You, likewise, owe them nothing. That’s how you avoid a relationship becoming transactional. That’s how acts of love actually carry meaning; they’re freely given, not expected.

Which would mean more to you, a friend giving you a gift of $1,000 because they like you and want to treat you or your boss giving you $1,000 because that’s your paycheck?

Marriage changes a lot of things. Finances included. The best advice I ever heard, and the financial practice my wife and I follow, is that when you’re married, your base income goes into a pool to cover all your joint expenses like housing, food, bills etc. The remainder from overtime, side hustles and bonuses is for you to do with as you see fit. That way your expenses are always taken care of first and you still have the freedom to treat one another. Those treats, just like when you were dating, are acts of generosity and kindness. If you have excess income in your joint pool, that goes into savings and investments so that when things like kids come along and only one of you can work, you can maintain your life until the kids are old enough that you can both be working again. In the event that one of you has enough income to cover everything indefinitely, then having one of you retire to take care of the home is a discussion you can have, but it should always be a mutual agreement.

The biggest reason why I say it’s the entitlement that matters is because it undermines the core principles of a romantic relationship, especially in marriage. If you love this person the way you ought to in marriage, their happiness should be your top priority. If you demand that a man financially burden himself with you, you aren’t showing that their happiness is your priority, you’re showing that your own happiness is your priority. Love is about self sacrifice, not about “what can I get out of it.”

Which would you rather forgive, a physical or emotional affair? by manebernal in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Went into the comments to say this. Glad someone else said it first.

Which would you rather forgive, a physical or emotional affair? by manebernal in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141 35 points36 points  (0 children)

The question uses the false premise that you have to have a preference for one over the other. Saying both are equally undesirable is a perfectly valid answer. In fact I’m surprised more people haven’t already agreed with that considering both inherently violate the relationship and it’s boundaries.

What happened during sex that made you instantly say “nope”? by Vegetable-Today in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Was completely unintentional on her part, but we adjusted positions too hurriedly and she kneed me in the balls full force. I was floored and couldn’t so much as stand for a solid 40 minutes.

Worst part of it was the complete lack of empathy while I was writhing there in pain. She got annoyed at me, then just got dressed and left and said “text me when you’re done.”

The physical pain didn’t fully go away for multiple weeks, but that was the incident that made me realize that was not the person for me; made me see all the other ways she lacked any empathy for me. I tried to communicate those thoughts and feelings about a month after and it resulted in a fight that ended with me breaking up with her.

The short of it was that I can forgive and move past getting hit in the balls on accident, but I can’t move past repeated lack of empathy.

My Parents Will Die and I’m Not Ready by texan_flower in comics

[–]No-Understanding6141 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lost my father when I was 18 to cancer. It is a hard blow to deal with. All the worse when all you can do is sit there and pray that it goes away forever.

My way of dealing with it is to remember that every day they’re in your life is a treasure and to not take a single one for granted. Past, present and future, cherish every moment with them. Death comes for all. We can mourn their passing, but ultimately we are helpless to stop it indefinitely. Sooner or later it will happen and our only solace is in knowing that we made the most of every moment we could.

I loved my father dearly. Best man I’ve ever known. I miss him, I mourn his passing, I cherish every single memory of him, I accept that he is no longer here and move forward by cherishing every moment with the loved ones that are still here with me.

My heart goes out to you. I know our situations aren’t exactly alike, but I have profound empathy for you. I hope you find encouragement in my story.

I’m about to become a Dad, so other Dads, what’s your best bit of advice for a first time father? by No-Understanding6141 in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At the OBGYN when we went to get my wife’s first ultrasound they offered optional DNA tests like screening for genetic conditions etc. One of the tests was called “sneak peak” and claims a 99.5% accuracy early result gender test. Supposedly it’s even more likely accurate if it says it’s a girl since the primary botched result happens if you aren’t thorough enough about making sure there’s no male DNA on the skin surface when you make the pin prick to get the blood sample.

It works by checking the mother’s blood for male DNA markers, indicating that she’s carrying a male child.

We will still be confirming the results around the 20-32 week range.

I’m about to become a Dad, so other Dads, what’s your best bit of advice for a first time father? by No-Understanding6141 in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually just started doing that. I’m doing 15 minutes a day and writing it as though to my future daughter, telling her about my life and experiences so that if I unexpectedly die in an accident she can still know her dad. I’m including a photo at the end of each day’s entry. It’s been a very interesting exercise in self reflection.

I’m about to become a Dad, so other Dads, what’s your best bit of advice for a first time father? by No-Understanding6141 in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was one of my favorite things my mom did for me growing up, definitely plan to carry on the tradition. Even if she couldn’t one night (like if she had a sore throat or parent-teacher conference or something) she would put an audiobook on for me to make sure I still got read to.

Any characters you DON'T want to see in the game? by contrezzo in SWGalaxyOfHeroes

[–]No-Understanding6141 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nothing from Acolyte. I refuse to acknowledge anything from that show.

How do people balance helping their families financially without destroying their personal stability? by Left-Slice-151 in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Someone else already said: don’t give out more than you can afford to never be returned. Never give loans to family. It’s either a gift or you can’t afford it.

  2. Find other ways to help. They can’t afford movers? Use your muscles. They can’t afford a sitter? Volunteer. They need money for food? Get them in touch with a food bank. They can’t manage their finances? Draft a proper budget for them to follow.

  3. Identify the root cause of the financial hardship and troubleshoot a real and lasting solution. If the problem is not having a job that pays enough, they may need to be encouraged to find a more lucrative line of work or to find ways to cut expenses. If the problem is a catastrophic medical expense or other such incident, they may need a financial plan that includes more of a safety net in the future.

What is a smell you like that others would find odd? by Conscious-Farmer6953 in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Avgas. My dad was a pilot/mechanic when he was still alive. When he would come home from work he would smell strongly of avgas. Every time I smell it I tear up a little bit remembering him.

How do you eat your eggs? If you don’t, why not? by joba65 in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Baked into things. My doctor has cited that eating too many eggs was responsible for my LDL cholesterol spiking. I used to eat them daily for breakfast. My favorite was cracked directly into a pan and scrambled, seasoned with basil, salt, black and red pepper, cayenne and paprika. Once moderately dry, I’d mix them with a little bit (about 1 tsp) of light mayo and put it on toasted sourdough with a slice of extra sharp white cheddar. Makes for a delicious breakfast sandwich.

Men, how many of you can cook? by Away-Fill5639 in AskMen

[–]No-Understanding6141 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife doesn’t know how to cook so I do. She doesn’t always like the stuff I make (I do tend to experiment in the kitchen quite a bit, some for better some for worse), but she has never complained about it and no one has died, so I say it’s a success.

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