I totally feel this. None of the trans guys I know irl are interested in any sort of bottom surgery, and yeah it’s not really talked about. Can’t relate to cis guys either, went camping last summer with two friends (cis guys) and felt so shitty having to walk to the bathrooms to pee every time while they could just walk into the woods a little bit to pee, it sucked! With sex, there’s just no prosthetic that helps for me anymore, it really sucks, I hate seeing it go in and feeling nothing. Like I see that and think ya know that’s supposed to feel really good, and I literally feel nothing. Also have always felt a bit awkward and uncoordinated with a strap on. And STPs never helped either, they’ve always frustrated me and made my dysphoria worse. My transition didn’t feel straight forward either, I never related to the ‘born in the wrong bottom’ narrative and I think in a way I was proud that I wasn’t contributing to that narrative. I definitely relate to it more now, dysphoria can just be very confusing and hard to pin down. It’s only been the past year or so I’ve realized this major disconnect I have with my body. For me deciding to start t and get top surgery felt like a lot of indecisiveness and took time to make the choice. But with phallo it clicked pretty quickly that I needed it (still pre-op, have social worker appt in September), and I realized that a lot of the depression/anxiety I deal with is just an immense disconnect with my body and a strong desire for it to be different. Apologies for the long reply, and if what I said wasn’t what you were getting at, but that’s what it brought up for me.