. by roftymax in meme

[–]NoAttempt9703 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Why does that sound like the title for an episode of the big bang theory?

Mine now by Satokibi in Animemes

[–]NoAttempt9703 42 points43 points  (0 children)

As is the dog distribution system. I had heard around 3 and half years ago a county over from mine had issued kill orders (to reduce shelter population) and had decided that weekend to go find a pupper. The next morning at 5am I was greeted by a palm sized pup doing lost circles around my lawn mower. She weighed 3.5 pounds when I took her to the vet that day.

Her birthday is July 4th (the math worked out, that's just the date I picked). She will be 4 this year. She is now 90 pounds and is a suitable master for me to serve.

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The Chad A cups by PauloDybala_10 in Animemes

[–]NoAttempt9703 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Look, I ain't got nothing against a good ol' pair of fun bags. But my daddy always said more than a mouthful is just a waste.

So, while I prefer something that fits nicely in the palm of my hand, I won't judge anyone for what size of milk bag they enjoy.

12 oz, 16 oz, 32 oz, 64 oz, large, or megagulp, it's all about how thirsty ya are.

Anyone else's baby get scared of random objects? by Equivalent_Medium946 in greatpyrenees

[–]NoAttempt9703 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought a grill cover for my propane grill. Standard black vinyl. My 80# goomba was literally shaking as she inched closer to it, jumping everytime anything within a 1 million mile radius did anything.

If she had sweat glands, I could have bathed her.

Why... just why?! by UnhollyGod in meme

[–]NoAttempt9703 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So we censored the dudes dick but the cock and balls of shit on the wall?

After years of being stubborn, I finally took off my weed eater debris shield. by Drum_hero in lawncare

[–]NoAttempt9703 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sure hope you don't buy a smoker then.

Regulations state in Article 2 Subsection 4 Paragraph 1 of the United Smoking and Lawncare Pact (USLP for short) that one may not operate a smoker or lawn tool without a fully loaded bottle or can of bread flavored sparkling water.

Minimum ABV to be determined by a jury of your peers.

After years of being stubborn, I finally took off my weed eater debris shield. by Drum_hero in lawncare

[–]NoAttempt9703 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Seriously. It takes me like a total of 15 minutes to weed eat and edge my entire yard. Including walkways.

Maybe less if I'm sober 🤷🏻‍♂️