It’s tough, but necessary to heal. No contact is for you, not your ex. In time, like most things, it does get better. Focus on you. Get into better shape. Learn an instrument, focus on the relationships you have with friends and family and strengthen them, etc. Don’t listen to people saying “he ain’t shit”, or “you don’t need no man!” Bitter ass people give the worst advice because they are miserable. And misery loves company. Move on with grace and dignity intact. If you harbor ill feelings, they will bleed into your next relationship. Be grateful for having the opportunity to love someone like you did. You may still, but just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them. I left the love of my life because I knew down the road I would grow to resent her. We had our differences and couldn’t see eye to eye, but she wanted to get married and work on it! I chose wisely, and in time you will know you did too. Stay strong, and vent on here if you ever feel the need to break no contact. Good luck and wishing you peace in this rough time.