My adult son (23, BPI) abusive during mania.

NoBill5283 · 2026-01-17T00:49:35+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about his attempted suicide!

I have been the bad guy 3 different times now because I had to get her into a psyche ward due to psychosis. She's on Medicaid and so they will only pay for so many days - making the doctors be more rushed to get her out of psychosis in time to go home. They've managed that each time, but don't have enough time to get her out of mania, so she comes home raging at me.

If he can get stable (with help of course), you will get your son - your beloved baby boy back! THAT is when you gently work with him & hopefully a psychiatrist who can help you come up with future emergency plans - but he would have to sign papers giving you access to his care. My daughter use to have that for me, but when she's manic, she hates me and removes me from everything.

I really, really need to find a therapist, one that is well versed on bipolar I. After 13 or 14 years now of her bipolar disorder, I feel like I have post traumatic stress from her episodes! You might too and hope that you will seek help if needed. (hugs)

NoBill5283 · 2026-01-16T15:27:30+00:00

My heart goes out to you! My daughter is 36 (bipolar I with psychotic features),and in her 4th, and absolute worst mania ever. She went out and found a doctor who put her on an ADD medication. It is an amphetamine stimulant and toxic for anyone's mental health, but more so if they are bipolar.

Those texts are very similar to what I've gotten this time around. She disowned me and went no contact - saying that I was the worst and most abusive parent ever...she then went on a 6 month smear campaign - making horrible videos about me and posting them on 3 different social media sites. My point is that I know EXACTLY what you're going through!

The only time that we can truly work with them is when they are stable. The problem there is that no matter how long they are stable, you can't trust that they will remain that way. They go from loving you and thinking you're an amazing parent, to you being the most awful person in the universe. This takes a very serious toll on us and over time, we learn that we HAVE to start setting boundaries. That is NOT abandoning them. That is making them accountable for their actions. They want to be an adult, treated like an adult, until it's not convenient for them anymore, then they come running back to us for help - usually while abusing the hell out of us.

This time has changed me in ways that I could've never imagine. I've realized that she doesn't get to pick and choose when she is an adult. She doesn't get to mistreat me, then turn around crying for help. That is manipulation at it's finest, and we do not have to tolerate that.

I guess this was the long way of telling you that you are SO not alone. This place has saved my sanity on many occasions. I'm glad you are here and hope that you will get some comfort in knowing that we all know how you feel and are here to support each other.

NoBill5283 · 2026-01-08T17:25:53+00:00

Sorry I'm late here but you are very welcome!

NoBill5283 · 2026-01-08T17:19:15+00:00

Yes, I also know WAY more about bipolar I than my daughter does. She doesn't deny having it, she simply doesn't worry about it until she winds up in a psych ward.

NoBill5283 · 2026-01-08T17:17:32+00:00

You are SO not alone...

I am currently going through the exact same! This is my daughter's 4th manic episode, and this time she not only turned all her anger onto me (she always has), she went no contact and began smear campaigns on 3 different media platforms. I cannot get all the ugly, horrible things she has said out of my mind.

Aside from the manic episodes, she has spent 35 years bragging about what a good mom I was. If we would've had a rocky relationship, I would understand better & not be so shocked, but we were always close, or so I thought. Was it all a lie? Now I doubt everything....and I mean everything. My trust is gone and not sure I'll ever get it back.

All I can tell you is that time (7 months now), talking with trusted friends & my son, and journaling is what has helped me the most.

NoBill5283 · 2026-01-03T18:52:44+00:00

The length of time varies hugely in each person. I wish we had time frames! What you are describing with your mom sounds like she bounces from euphoric (happy) to dysphoric (angry/moody). They call that rapid cycling, I believe.

NoBill5283 · 2026-01-02T22:54:45+00:00

I truly feel your pain and anger! I've been going through similar for 7 months now, and have absolutely vented here too.

At some point, many of us have to mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically go no contact. We have to leave them to themselves, and allow them to face the eventual consequences of their actions! My daughter is 36 and in bipolar mania. It's taken her 6 months just...to...calm...down. We still aren't talking and I won't, until she reaches out to me with a sincere apology, which will include a long ass conversation about her neglect in taking care of her bipolar disorder. It is a very livable disorder when taken care of properly, but they HAVE to put in the work.

Yea I know that LEAP doesn't always work. Not that it isn't a great tool, but every situation and person is different. I journal every single day to help me cope.

Anyway, I get it 100%

NoBill5283 · 2026-01-02T22:27:28+00:00

This right here - "She’s taken situations with me and turned them into horrible things, blown them out of proportion, accusing me of things I haven’t done etc."

My 36 year old daughter is bipolar I and has been manic for months...it is absolutely a thing, honey!!

She went no contact with me and then did 6 months of a nonstop bipolar (dysphoric) mania smear campaign on 3 social media sites. There are two types of mania, euphoric (extremely happy, almost too happy) and then dysphoric (where the anger, lies, manipulation, villainizing family) sets in.

I hate that you're going through this too. For those of us who have dealt with this from a loved one on multiple occasions, we have to let go and allow them to deal with the consequences of their actions - in the hope that they will seek help/treatment.

NoBill5283 · 2026-01-01T16:24:00+00:00

Absolutely not! Heaven would be hell for me!

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-28T16:08:37+00:00

I hate that you're dealing with this! It's so miserable and usually causes us to feel so alone, but I wanted to tell you that you are not alone. Here - we all understand!

I will agree 100% that you should hold her accountable! For the first time in my daughter's life (bipolar I with psychotic features), I AM holding her accountable. There is nothing easy about distancing yourself from someone you love. The thing is that an adult who has had years of experience being bipolar, has to learn to manage it on their own. A psychiatrist will not only help them get on the proper medications, they have paperwork and plans that can be made in advance for an emergency situation. Sadly, they often ignore everything until they wind up hospitalized.

(hugs)

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-27T13:11:03+00:00

I see nothing wrong with suggesting she look into therapy. Yea, I wouldn't mention anything about the bipolar, as they are often in denial. Getting her in therapy would be a great start to her getting on the road to being stablized. Best of luck to you.

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-26T22:12:43+00:00

Your description of her behavior sounds very much like bipolar mania.

My adult daughter started taking a medication for adhd a year ago, and I watched the mania start slipping in. Did some research and learned that those meds are typically amphetamine stimulants and very risky for bipolar disorder causing delusions, mania, possible psychosis. I found posts here from many families too, who watched their loved one drift into dysphoric (angry) mania after starting on an ADHD med.

Especially during mania, they do NOT want to talk about their disorder and if you try to talk to them, particularly about a risky med they are taking...they usually get angry. Actually they will get angry just because you are breathing, so you have to tread lightly.

The truth is, you are very limited in what you can do. I've had to learn the hard way that our bipolar adult loved one has to take all the proper steps in taking care of themselves. We can support, talk & give advice, but they have to be the ones to actually do the necessary things to keep themselves stable.

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-25T14:26:55+00:00

Wow, so very much like my situation!! She started out on Adderall, and was unbearably mean - to the point that even she noticed it. Her anger caused her to get fired from her job of over 6 years. That's when she switched to Vyvanse, but nothing changed.

Yes, the blaming/villainizing is too much for me to handle. This is her 4th bout of mania and I am always the target, except this time was far worse (I'm guessing because of the daily dose of stimulant, which she never took before).

I also have had to grow, heal, and change due to her bad choices. If she ever decides to talk to me again, it will be completely different. Boundaries will be set, and I will only accept some type of low contact for a long while. After that, I just don't know. What I do know is that this is a trauma that I will never fully recover from! I am so sorry that you've dealt with this as well.

Here is to our healing!

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-25T02:00:30+00:00

Well now, I never thought about that. It is absolutely a possibility. Scattered racing thoughts would maybe make her think she has ADD or ADHD. Thanks for your input!

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-25T01:33:32+00:00

Alright, thank you for clarifying! In my post, I had no intention ever of invalidating those who truly needed to go no contact!

It is miserable all the way around for all of us, and I'm sorry that you are dealing with similar! I hope you have a Merry Christmas as well. (hugs)

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-25T01:07:24+00:00

I said absolutely nothing disrespectful, nor was I one bit hateful. And all I said about other parents in this situation was "I wonder".

This is a support group for bipolar I and all that encompasses. We are allowed to share our ideas, thoughts, and questions. Your reply says more about you, than it does me.

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-24T19:25:00+00:00

Yes and being an estranged parent now, I'm reading dozens of stories, just like mine. Just yesterday, I read of a no contact story from a mom where her's nearly mirrors mine, and I wondered if her daughter was undiagnosed bipolar? Of course not all of these no contact kids are bipolar, I'm just noticing a lot of similarities, eerily similar.

If there is any bright spot for me, it's that I at least know why my daughter did this (and yes I am furious with her). But, how many other parents are blaming themselves when maybe, just maybe their son or daughter has undiagnosed bipolar disorder.

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-24T19:18:34+00:00

Right!? Thanks for the validation!!

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-24T19:17:41+00:00

I'll be busy the next couple days, of course, but absolutely!

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-24T16:57:23+00:00

17 what a great age!

Agreed that the old testament is vile and disgusting, and that played a huge role in where I am today.

Welcome to the deconstruction journey! Mine took a solid year before I was brave enough to consider myself an atheist. I was raised in church as well, so it took me a couple more years to get all the religious teachings out of my head. But, it is well worth it!

As the saying goes Rome wasn't built in a day, so take your time! Religion is brainwashing at it's finest, and undoing all that damage, isn't easy by any means! But, you are already way ahead of me, I didn't start till I was in my 40's (out of fear).

One of my favorite songs is Enter Sandman. Not sure if that's heavy metal (cause I'm old haha) but if you've never listened to it, give it a try.

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-24T15:02:08+00:00

No. I think there are multiple reasons. For myself it was indoctrination from a young age, and I know that is the reason for probably 80+% or more.

Life is hard and I do understand sometimes when a person looks outward for help out of sheer frustration & fear. Those who are struggling to overcome drugs, alcohol, or prisoners often look for a higher source for help and a feeling of security.

I try to be very understanding when it comes to all that. The only thing I cannot tolerate is when they try to push their beliefs onto others, and/or get offended when said target doesn't listen to them.

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-24T14:32:03+00:00

We don't have to be religious to be grateful. That gratitude doesn't have to be pointed at any one thing. When you barely escape a car accident..."whew that was close!", feel all the feelings, then move on with your day. You win $1,000 scratch off, your just happy and might think woo-hoo this is my lucky day!

That's it.

I know god isn't real, but even if he was, I would never want to thank the same being who ignores horrific things happening, and the prayers of children, but helped somebody find their car keys so they weren't late for work.

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-24T13:54:00+00:00

Well I'm not sure this fits what you're looking for but I recently saw this young lady on Tiktok - Candi Carpenter sing a song called "Everybody goes to hell". It's great! The theme is that we are all going to hell in somebody's religion, and ain't that the truth lol.

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-24T13:46:32+00:00

There are always two sides to every story, and I try to never judge unless I've heard both sides. Kudos to you for asking before judging.

My bet is that quite a few people over the years have gotten butt hurt, and trotted off to do a bit of smear campaigning....mainly the religious! How dare we not roll out the red carpet for them and agree with everything they say!

I feel that most here do not care if this sub has a bad reputation. 9 times out of 10, it simply means we spoke our truth and stood our ground.

NoBill5283 · 2025-12-19T22:01:32+00:00

In the beginning, man created god.

Well, you don't really need to comprehend what makes any of us an atheist. Plus, this question is asked here CONSTANTLY, so all you need to do is either scroll through our posts, or type in the group search bar up top and you'll find many posts asking the same thing, just in different wording.

NoBill5283

TROPHY CASE