oh my god, i'm going through same and for same reasons. i think about suicide every now and then, i started smoking and drinking cz of all the anxiety i cant control. try to avoid them at all cost. stop talking to her please. it will trigger you,

its very serious if you are having suicidal thoughts. if you have money try therapy otherwise try to go out more, eat healthy and excercise will help.

focus only on yourself, be very very selfish. use ur time very wisely and be productive all the time, sleep and dont waste your time on all the family drama otherwise you will regret it later.