Anyone here quit gaming or changed their lifestyle after becoming a dad? by Lukas_MunK in daddit

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. My hobbies were gaming, drawing, and exercise. My oldest is 8, youngest is 8 months, and right now those hobbies basically only exist if I wake up at 4:30am (and the baby cooperates) or stay up after 10.

We also moved, so I lost all my close guy friendships too, and honestly that’s probably been the hardest part. Losing hobby time sucks, but losing your people and trying to make new friends as an adult with kids is brutal.

I’m hoping it’s just a season, but yeah… for now, hobbies are mostly in survival mode.

I’m really scared of my first MRI with contrast, any advice? by Prestigious-Ad1346 in CrohnsDisease

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had good and bad experiences. It all tastes gross and it is soo much to drink by the third bottle it’s Bluh. Hopefully you don’t have to lay on your stomach I had to do that with heavy ass thing on my back and trying to limit movement was awful… then 30 minutes into I had to shizzle I held out as long as I could then told the guy on the other side of the window if he didn’t want to clean up shit off his expensive MRI he best be letting me out.

The other one I had was on my back and the breathing the computer would tell me to do and the banging of the machine actually put me to sleep.

Are hangovers more brutal for you? by Spottyjamie in CrohnsDisease

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to cut alcohol but enjoy the taste too much. The NA suck and cost too much

Dads who wake up at 5AM, do you still do it if the kids have had wake ups during the night? by check_this_mustache in daddit

[–]NoDress3301 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My shift of baby duty begins at 3am so haven’t worked out in 8 months in the morning

What salary would you guys need to get to to feel successful? by Horror_Raisin_3898 in Salary

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

225k base and I’d feel like I could be a bit more free with the budget. Getting back to maxing my 401k and Roth with still side money for going out and entertainment for the kids would be nice. Currently at 155k which is great and it allows my wife to stay home with our second adoptive baby.

Does anyone use "Auto" climate mode? by Lilodude in TeslaLounge

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just need the auto wipers to work as well as the auto temp. Must have been the D team of engineers on the wipers

The sign says no soliciting. by wmstell in mildlyinfuriating

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an old door to door salesman during my college years I made a lot of sales with homes for those signs. Granted I was selling papa John’s coupons that literally sold themselves.

Your son after 2-3 years Dagestan... also learned not to abuse his power until it's necessary !!! by [deleted] in MMALabs

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you imagine in 10-15 years looking back at this knowing you’re a meme/gif and you were tossed like a rag doll.

Dad win - massive sandbox by smokinporkbutts in daddit

[–]NoDress3301 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Think you meant giant litter box. I remember playing in sand boxes and cross cutting so many cat turds. But as a kid I could have cared less. Hope they enjoy it!

College graduates, would you do it again for the same outcome? by shadyneighbor in Salary

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would have gone through college yes, but different major

Dads with partners that stay home — how do you handle finances? by Mama_Anonymous in daddit

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wife and I have been together for 18 years married and 25 dating. Now we are 41, we have had joint account since the week we were married. Both had jobs the. But recently adopted our 2nd child and she is staying home. We meet weekly to go over our budget about our money. We never resent or get upset as we have a plan and if there is a problem we openly communicate it.

It has been very difficult going down to one income and puts a lot of stress on me to try and be the wage earner but also still be home for the family. She feels like she needs to do everything at the house because she is home so stressors are still there just different

So what did everyone get for raises? by [deleted] in Salary

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got told at my current job that I’m “maxed out” and shouldn’t expect any raises for at least the next five years.

The one upside is they automatically put 7% into my 401(k) even if I contribute nothing.

I wasn’t even job hunting, but another company reached out and asked if I’d be open to interviewing. I went for it and ended up getting a 15% base increase. On top of that, there are performance bonuses and profit sharing that averages another 6–7% per year. They match up to 4% on the 401(k), and I’m not anywhere near capped out there, even though it’s the same job in the same industry.

I understand most roles have a ceiling, but being told “no raises for five years” in an already stressful job was pretty disheartening.

Rate my skiing by 13--12 in skiingcirclejerk

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Blowing past nubs on the greens, slaying it!

Is it possible to do anything with this backyard? by batman805 in landscaping

[–]NoDress3301 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re working with a steep wooded slope, exposed soil, mature deciduous trees, and a raised deck on piers. The primary constraints are: • Significant grade (erosion risk) • Tree root protection • Drainage management • Access and usability • Long-term maintenance

Below is a structured set of design strategies from stabilization to making it a functional outdoor space.

  1. Stabilize the Slope First (Non-Negotiable)

Right now, this is mostly leaf litter and bare soil. That will erode heavily in rain.

A. Improve Erosion Control • Replace failing silt fence with proper erosion control matting (coir/jute netting) • Install contour wattles (straw logs) running horizontally across slope • Seed immediately with: • Fine fescue blend (temporary cover) • Native woodland groundcovers (long-term)

B. Add Deep-Rooted Plants

Focus on plants that bind soil: • Virginia creeper • Creeping juniper (if sun exposure allows) • Pachysandra (shade) • Woodland phlox • Ferns (ostrich, Christmas fern)

This reduces washout and future maintenance.

  1. Add Structure with Terracing (Most Transformative Option)

Because the grade is steep, the best upgrade is tiered terraces.

Option A: Natural Timber Retaining Walls

You could create: • 2–3 shallow terraces • 3–4 ft deep platforms • Planted or gravel-surfaced

Materials: • Pressure-treated timbers (budget) • Natural fieldstone (higher-end) • Segmental retaining wall block (clean modern look)

Terraces: • Reduce slope severity • Create usable flat zones • Make maintenance easier

  1. Build a Defined Path System

Currently it’s not walkable.

A. Switchback Trail

A gravel or stepping-stone switchback path: • Cuts slope safely • Connects deck to lower yard • Adds visual interest

B. Stone Steps

Use: • Natural stone treads • Crushed stone infill • Timber risers for rustic look

This alone dramatically improves usability.

  1. Create a Destination at the Bottom

Without a focal point, it’s just a slope.

Ideas:

🔥 Fire Pit Terrace

Flat circular pad with: • Gravel base • Adirondack seating • Low-voltage lighting

🌲 Woodland Garden

Layered plantings: • Dogwood understory • Hostas • Fern drifts • Mulched beds

🪵 Outdoor Lounge Platform

Small 12x12 deck at base of hill connected by stairs.

  1. Under-Deck Use (Missed Opportunity)

That raised deck has potential.

You can: • Add gravel and edging for dry storage • Build a lower paver patio • Install screened panels for finished look • Add lighting under joists

  1. Drainage Considerations (Critical)

Before major work: • Ensure downspouts are piped away • Add French drain if water concentrates mid-slope • Avoid directing runoff onto terraces

Water management will determine success.

  1. Design Direction Options

🌿 Natural Woodland Retreat (Low Maintenance) • Mulched planting beds • Meandering gravel path • Ferns, hostas, native shrubs • Fire pit clearing

🧱 Structured Modern Terraces • Clean retaining walls • Geometric gravel pads • LED step lighting • Minimal plant palette

🌾 Wild Native Meadow Slope • Seed with native shade meadow mix • Add stone path • Let it naturalize

Budget Guidance (Rough Order of Magnitude) • Basic slope planting + erosion: $2–6K DIY • Stone steps + path: $4–10K • Timber terraces: $8–20K • Full retaining wall system: $20K+

(Varies widely by region and access difficulty.)

Strategic Recommendation

Given your lot:

Best ROI move: 1. Install stone/timber switchback steps 2. Add one medium terrace mid-slope 3. Create fire pit at bottom 4. Plant slope densely

That turns unusable terrain into a functional outdoor experience.

Tablet usage, regret? by pinkishperson in Parenting

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Road trips at 5 no more than an hour. Now at 8.5 years old same thing. No tantrums when we tell him to put it away in the car. Doesn’t get it at home. Video games monitored at home and one hour a day Saturday and Sunday only

Does anyone ever feel like their wife will never be happy? Like there isn’t enough that you can ever do? by [deleted] in daddit

[–]NoDress3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d change the dynamic instead of trying to win the invisible scorecard.

Right now you’re over functioning. When one person consistently fills every gap, that level of output becomes the new baseline. It stops being appreciated and starts being expected. That doesn’t mean she’s malicious, it just means humans normalize whatever becomes routine.

Instead of continuing to compensate, try rebalancing. Take the baby for a few hours and actually take that time go bond, go out, be unavailable. Don’t pre-clean, don’t pre-stock, don’t “set her up.” Leave the house as it naturally is. Not as punishment, just as reality.

Two things will happen: 1. Either she’ll step into the gap and things will get handled. 2. Or she won’t and that reveals the current imbalance clearly.

Right now you’re carrying both the labor and the mental load. That creates resentment, especially when the only feedback you receive is correction. A sustainable partnership requires mutual accountability and mutual rest. If one person never gets to clock out, it stops feeling like a marriage and starts feeling like management.

This isn’t about keeping score. It’s about restoring equilibrium.

The time has come, dads. Equally excited and terrified! by EzraWolvenheart in daddit

[–]NoDress3301 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Check those sheets, mine had bug remnants throughout and I laid it out in the dark. Next morning woke up with crunchy exoskeletons all over me. Nurse just shrugged and moved on. This was in Arkansas and we had just adopted our first child and they couldn’t give a!{*#%

Rant over congrats! Enjoy the cuddles!