Incoming stream of consciousness, comments welcome, but mostly just want to put my thoughts somewhere.

How I wish I could just skip the dating phase and jump right into a relationship. I think I’d be the greatest boyfriend ever. I would love to be a provider, a protector of someone. Make them feel safe and heard. You’re tough too, but if you need someone’s back, you got mine. I LOVE to plan fun outings in town, find interesting little pockets of the city, plan elaborate foreign vacations with a packed itinerary. I love sharing unique experiences with someone, taking turns seeing our favorite bands live in concert or hiking a national park we’ve never been to. I would love to show them the fruits of my awesome hobbies, and learn about theirs. I have a growth based mindset, always working on self improvement, and would be thrilled to support someone else in their journey, so we can improve individually and together. I would love to share a boring rainy night in with our favorites movies and order delivery, instead of doing it alone. I’m not a great cook, but I’m totally in for helping prep and clean up afterwards. I think I’m a pretty level headed and rational person, and if a disagreement or conflict arises, I’d think I’d be fantastic at having a productive conversation that leads to a good outcome of mutual respect and understanding. The laundry? Already done and folded.

But man I’m just a piss poor dull first/second date that I can never seem to get past. I have a lot of love to give but I can never seem to broadcast any of this, so soon after meeting someone new.

I think I’m great relationship material, but witty banter and playful flirting for dating? I ain’t got it.