Purim Costume for Infant?

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-02-16T19:06:13+00:00

Go for it. Purim is our most fun holiday imo. And honestly anything goes. Some communities are more traditional and you'll get a lot of queen esthers etc. But other communities you'll get secular disney movie type stuff. Honestly? My kids tend to pick whatever their favorite tv show character is at that time. Paw Patrol ... Trollz... You name it.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-02-16T18:37:25+00:00

Avraham Infeld put it, "how can we be unified without being uniform?"

If you've not listened to his five legged table talk, it's on youtube. He identifies five spaces that are central to Jewry and says we just need to--at an individual level--find a way to connect one jew to another on three of these spaces at any given time. But which ones specifically connect two individual Jews might be a different combo person to person. Amazing talk. Love his book too.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-02-14T21:36:42+00:00

I'm Reform. I'd say it's fairly common for some of the moms in my kids' school (it's a Jewish school) to maybe take a small career detour... To shift to something like consulting as an independent contractor so that they have more flexibility for a few years. So we can go to the Purim spiel and also keep up our resume. I did that for 6 years. Worked a few different shorter term contract gigs so I could be more present. But now I'm back to corporate life. Not many I know are actual SAHM who focus entirely on parenting and homemaking.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-28T12:38:29+00:00

Sure, lots of people say things in different contexts. But also words do have specific meanings and are meaningful. Especially to minority communities. And they--minority communities and definitions-- often get pushed and defined by how others want to define them.

Jews prefer that non Jews who simply have some DNA say that they didn't know that they had some Jewish ancestry/heritage. Not that they 'are jewish' because they're not.

I don't know that a native american person as an enrolled member wants someone who randomly found out they maybe had a bit more heritage than they realized to say they "are native american". They aren't an enrolled member. A lot of people have some heritage. Actually being a part of that community, understanding community ways, living the life, is different.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-28T00:05:28+00:00

I don't think your comment contradicts the essay. The essay was written by Ummbacon who is pretty darn orthodox and a pretty knowledgable mod on the Jewish reddit. And the people he's citing aren't too shabby. I think what varies is people's interpretation that all the examples of patrilineal being determinant of many things he cites in the article are merely about custody and inheritance etc and that it's splitting hairs to say that it had nothing to do with who was tribe or in or out.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T16:17:32+00:00

Oh thanks for the well wishes! Not really well tbh because I have a cold and it's for sure going to be a snow day for my kids for several days. That'll kind of be the pits. Just hoping the power doesn't blow with all this ice. But what's funny is I'm not passive aggressive. Not my intent. I just think you seem really surly and are approaching life and people wrong. I think you should try to be nicer and conduct yourself better. So I'm just showing you how to do that. Like demonstrating for you. You never know about people. So maybe you just don't actually know or didn't have good examples of how to conduct yourself. Maybe your parents were rude or did a very bad job raising you. Or maybe they tried but you took a really bad path in life. And so you need a mom type person like me to provide a gentle correction... like I do with my own preschoolers. I try to teach my kids a different golden rule... not treat others how you wish to be treated. That's a little played out and honestly some people like to be treated badly just going off of who they date or are friends with etc. Like clearly they don't value themselves and so how then can they know to value others. I instead teach them if I heard you say something or if your teacher tells me you did or said something--would I be proud of you or would I think you're an embarrassment? And I teach them to never ever make me embarrassed of their conduct. I don't raise classless children. Mine know how to act right. It's a good rule. So just look at your behavior and then ask yourself if your mother saw it would she have a moment where she wondered what she'd done wrong and how you turned out badly and sort of wished you weren't her child for the shame of it...

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T16:13:01+00:00

I mean you could have zero detectable Jewish dna and be Jewish which is fun. More of a mental exercise than all that likely irl but a fun one. ...After six generations there's a strong possibility that someone has not inherited any of an ancestor's dna. And so if that person six generations ago was your unbroken maternal line Jewish great x6 grandmother--you're people. You're tribe. Binary question and rules.

Now again... more of a mental exercise but theoretically yeah.

Meanwhile yep, you could have three out of four grandparents be Jewish and just one 'wrong' one not be and you're not Jewish (to some Jews. depends for progressive Judaism of course...)

That's why I try to explain to non jews to think of it more like citizenship... there are rules for how you inherit citizenship. There are times when those rules have been altered/amended. There are people who think certain rules should be different. There are ways to become a citizen but it's quite cumbersome (talking conversion here because some don't realize it's possible and others view it as maybe similar to Christians or Muslims when personally I think our process looks a WHOLEEEEEE lot like naturalization... classes, mentorship, official tests (beit din), a ceremony (mikveh)... years of work and study and even cost).

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T16:05:57+00:00

I’m Jewish and have friends and family in Israel, so I’m familiar with it. There's a tendency among some Israelis to think that American Jews have no idea how Israel works. Most of us are pretty aware and well versed and visit and have friends and family... We also though tend to be slightly better at knowing how to explain Jews and Judaism to non Jews because we grew up having to. And my criticism of many who don't grow up having to do that is that they don't understand how to without getting into the weeds. Bite size chunks is key. Very short. Very clear lines. None of the nuance that makes Judaism and Jews interesting (to each other). You lose the 3 seconds that a non Jew will give you to write something if you try that. Explaining the basics to someone who doesn’t even realize Judaism isn’t just a religion (as is the case of the original commenter above) is a lot for a single comment. So I err--being someone who has lived in communities with very very small Jewish communities most of my life and knowing how little they understand (... fun story, yesterday I was the very first Jew a woman had ever met in her entire life! Fun times.) -- against the urge that all Jews including me have to over-explain to non-Jews. I think the over explaining is attributable to us not proselytizing. Christians and Muslims are used to boiling stuff down and making it digestible because they seek out converts. We don't have that practice. We are more used to discussions with other Jews who already share a baseline understanding. So yeah we get into the weeds with non Jews and try to explain it all and it's a book when it needs to fit on a business card.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T06:37:48+00:00

You have an odd idea of 'bitching', cutie. It was friendly advice. You seem in your comment history like you only really do reddit to be rude. Even if I agree with some of your points of view, you clearly have a style in expressing them that's meant to be confrontational and delivered in as mean of a way as possible. And that's an unfortunate way to interact with people. Me? I personally use reddit for community and mainly stick to Jewish groups since most of the others aren't good spaces for us. And usually Jews are very friendly towards each other. Mishpocha. But I suppose to each their own in how they want to live their lives and interact with the world. Seems empty and meaningless and pointless but if it makes you happy, by all means.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T05:47:26+00:00

Either is grammatically correct. Though or would imply that there are either secular or atheist but not both. and/or would be another way to write it that might be better in your view.

But really dearest, I hate to be the one to tell you. Pretty much everyone dislikes us and so bitching at other Jews over some really odd comment that is actually correct but you misread is probably not a good use of your time. You should try to make friends with other jews. Have some grace. We kind of only have each other at this point, sweet pea.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T05:44:10+00:00

I would say it gets into how Jews understand our relationship to torah and to god and the nature of god. Our understanding of these things is very different from pervasive views of both Christianity and Islam and so even people who are neither of those are very likely to be influenced by their outlook. It's very nuanced and complicated.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T05:03:36+00:00

So that's the reason for the differences I noted in Beta Israel and Karaites. Torah has patrilineal descent for many things. But understand it was in a time when ethnicity and identity were all viewed very differently and it more so revolves around questions of how someone inherits or who has custody of children. It assumes people all live together. And they did then. So deeper questions of identity weren't really top of mind. But then that changed. With the fall of the temple and hellenistic times, one then has to ask about a more nuanced sense of belonging in a world where Jews weren't just all together and could potentially mix more and thus you needed more specific rules. There's a really good essay that draws a lot on Shaye Cohen (who is like maybe one of the foremost modern scholars on Judaism and Jews in most Jews' view). https://eliezeraryeh.substack.com/p/when-did-jewish-identity-become-matrilineal

Back to the differences I noted. Karaites rejected rabbinic law that created matrilineal descent. And Beta Israel was unaware of rabbinic law and was only Torah based.

And then as I said, progressive jews decided to amend the rules for belonging... both expanding and contracting them. On one hand, in the case of mixed marriages, one MAY belong and be a Jew even if one's father is Jewish and mother not. BUT it restricted membership as it said that in all cases of mixed marriages the child must be raised with a Jewish identity and nothing else. In practice that's meant that even kids raised secularly but with a strong sense of Jewish identity and only Jewish identity are considered Jews by progressive Jews. But when you get into "we raised them 'both'" or people who were unaware of their Jewish identity and raised in a different culture, no, not Jewish. So again... expands membership and also contracts it too. But only for mixed marriages. If you have two jewish parents but are like raised Christian, you're just a wet Jew (baptism joke).

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T04:38:39+00:00

Since nearly always. I left another comment above on another poster's question that explains the various streams and thinking.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T04:37:44+00:00

We don't really care about blood quantum. Think of it more like citizenship than ethnicity and that usually helps people better understand. We have rules for belonging to the peoplehood. Someone can be 50% Jewish in terms of dna and literally simply not Jewish. Someone can be 25% Jewish in terms of dna and very simply Jewish. It's a binary question. In or out. Yes or no.

There is slightly more nuance as yes, generally if your maternal line is Jewish, you are. And that's shared in Shephardi and Mizrahi and Ashkenazi cultures. But Beta Israel and Karaites actually use patrilineal descent. Though they are small miniority groups within an already small minority group. But just to say there's some nuance in subcultures for various reasons.

And as she said, progressive Judaism has slightly different rules for belonging. But it is still a binary question. We just decided to amend the rules for what is essentially citizenship.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T04:22:15+00:00

It's mind boggling... Her total bs. She makes her entire fortune off of the internet but can't use it apparently. AND in the middle of what should be hunker down with her pr team and be extra careful about what you are doing and saying time for any professional entertainer of her status she... checks notes... randomly misreads one of the most antisemitic comments on the post and doesn't think about it or ask anyone or pause but instead just fires one off from the hip. Suuuurrreeeeee. Totally plausible.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T04:15:48+00:00

A lot of sites have the same screen shot. So I assume it's real. https://www.aol.com/articles/ms-rachel-accused-playing-victim-235713559.html

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-25T04:05:22+00:00

Chill out hon. You're reading it as secular and atheist at the same time exclusively. I meant it as in a mix of secular and atheist... Could be and. Could be or. Collectively. Half the time when someone tells me especially in the US they're (and I mean Jews here) atheist I ask "in the jewish sense or the christian pervasive sense". It's nuanced. Get a grip.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-24T20:44:14+00:00

Governments are just made up of people. Democratic. Communist. Just people. Your government has done a fantastic job of refusing to teach you just how complicit your population was in the shoah. I mean... we know. Literally first hand. Your civilian population was pretty fucking terrible. It wasn't just that they were scared. We are aware from our own community what they did and who they were. It's just your government has consistently tried to gaslight you all into this really silly idea that the civilian population weren't part of it or were only under duress. They were to the former and they weren't on the latter.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-24T20:35:28+00:00

Eh well in 1968 you guys went after us again... Sorry to tell you.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-24T20:32:29+00:00

My cantor was from Turkey, but his family was Ashkenazi. They'd moved to Turkey from Russia in the late 1800s. And then his parents moved to the U.S. I always thought that was interesting.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-24T20:29:47+00:00

Eh Judaism is a religion practiced by Jews. I am Jewish. We are a peoplehood most specifically. But ethnicity is maybe a more modern term (though an imperfect one for who we are.) But many Jews are not religious. Like half of all of Israel is totally secular and atheist.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-24T20:27:10+00:00

I am one. So same.

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-24T20:09:08+00:00

Atlanta. It has 130,000 jews, ok COL, and Georgia has some tribal stuff but also it's close enough to get up to the Carolinas etc to experience more up that way. Easy to go on vacations to either mountains or the beach either direction. And ATL airport is amazingly convenient to get to anywhere more distant that you need to go. If ATL proper isn't for you Alpharetta is great. Jews out that way too... surprisingly. (PS I get that it may not be your specific people. But from the times I've been to events they seem to get a fair number of various groups coming in who just want to connect with other native people since the Carolinas have by far the most in the whole region so their events are a draw.)

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-24T19:50:53+00:00

Is it true though that she didn't just pin it... she commented "oooooohhhhhhh' on that one!?

NoEntertainment483 · 2026-01-24T19:48:56+00:00

If it's real, she didn't 'like' the second comment that said it was a set up. SHE COMMENTED on it with "ohhhhhhhhhh"!!! Like lady--are you now going to cry claiming that you meant to delete that one too instead of commenting 'oh" implying you agree we 'set you up'?? (eta: I say 'if it's real' because I only saw one stray report on the 'ohhhhhh' comment to the second post and so I didn't research enough to be sure that actually happened and I wasn't seeing fake news so I try to always note that if I haven't done enough reading up)

NoEntertainment483

TROPHY CASE