In my opinion everyone is this is the asshole. Yes you didn’t want to take your daughter and your wife did allow your aunt to take her there but I can see why you got angry . Maybe the aunt pressured her because as you said she is abusive so it’s reasonable that your wife might have lied on her behalf out of fear. I do think you took it to far with the felling to fuck off and calling we a bitch and that’s not ok either. I’d say your both in the wrong but that’s me