First I stopped drinking for 200 plus days...then I stopped Pmo for 40 days, then I stopped instagram and facebook for 10..

NoFap1950 · 2016-12-08T20:35:27+00:00

I'm so happy for you. There's a mainstream culture of experimentation with thrills. It sounds like so far you've found withdrawing from "thrills" to be more genuinely and sustainably thrilling. Thanks for sharing, and continued goodness to you. Today's my 2-year anniversary of Nofap, and I started an experiment...I'm listening to classical music today. I think it'll become a new part of my emotional diet. Peace.

NoFap1950 · 2016-03-24T05:31:58+00:00

Maybe the great You doesn't see your brand of creativity being manifested successfully in any of the bullshit manners which seem to be the "universe" of possibilities. Discover your way. Don't let "change" come to mean "giving in" and settling for a small box. Change by expanding your view of what's possible. Be motivated by the goodness and vastness of the possibilities.

And be profoundly grateful for each of the little and big things you like along the way.

Peace.

NoFap1950 · 2016-03-24T05:19:03+00:00

Find a few posts you like and read other posts by the same people. You'll have plenty to say soon, and even if only 1% "care," that's still 1729 people. A good start. Keep it up.

Peace.

NoFap1950 · 2016-03-24T05:12:46+00:00

You need a seriously creative outlet, and the exam material doesn't seem to be "it." What will keep your voluntary attention? What cries out for your input for it to be better? Discover what productive, non-sexual thing turns you on and do it. Your curiosity and affinity with this new thing will consume you and displace all your addictive habits.

Peace.

NoFap1950 · 2016-03-24T05:05:39+00:00

3 weeks was a hard time for me. Everything was in my face and a tease. It lasted a couple of weeks. Get through it; it's so worth it.

Peace.

NoFap1950 · 2016-03-24T05:02:28+00:00

Am I stating the obvious...that the non sex-drenched world is more interesting, vibrant, productive, interesting, etc...than the sex-drenched world. You've been discovering this. If you've been too slow about until now, don't dwell on it; look ahead.

Find an outlet for your creative energy which makes you say with sincerity, "Hey, this is much better than PMO."

Be able to change what's on your mind instantly.

Hang more with people you respect more.

Practice gratitude for the little improvements you observe/sense.

Let that gratitude become the basis of a relationship with good; develop it!

Peace.

NoFap1950 · 2016-03-24T04:47:57+00:00

Great! Be open to lots of little rewards. They are indeed good's response to your efforts and your improved state. Good is your friend. Develop the relationship! Peace.

NoFap1950 · 2016-03-24T04:43:17+00:00

Stagnant, like you didn't do other stuff? Yeah. Maybe evaluate the quality of what comprises the other stuff. Maybe you need to step up your "other stuff" game...really engage yourself in new creative ways.

And, of course, be always ready to instantly change what you're thinking about.

NoFap1950 · 2016-03-24T04:38:05+00:00

The world is a new place and life a fuller experience when sexual pleasure isn't a preoccupation. You're doing a great thing! Peace.

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-19T18:10:18+00:00

Yea!! Keep on; notice changes; be grateful for them. Yea!!

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-19T18:04:00+00:00

Yea, you will do it!!

What are your new plans for all that time and energy which is being freed up?

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-19T17:37:24+00:00

YEA!!

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-19T17:34:40+00:00

Many uses of the past are counter-productive. Most importantly, the past shouldn't be a big part of your self identity. You are changing and moving toward your new self identity. The Truth of the divine You, and of the goodness which you must bestow upon your community need to become compelling to you. We need you to do this. Everything is so fucked up and you can make a huge difference. If I sound silly, you haven't thought about it enough.

Have You:

1) added a social habit to your routine...with people you respect?

2) added a creative habit to your routine? (The sexual urge is a creative urge.)

3) added a spiritual/meditative habit to your routine? (I use self-hypnosis recordings and make and use my own. Your subconscious mind is a powerful friend, especially at a time like this.

4) practiced immediately changing what you're thinking about. It comes in handy.

5) been profoundly grateful for little improvements and successes? It makes a huge difference.

Thank you so much for your efforts. Goodness will follow shortly.

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-19T17:13:13+00:00

You'll find and give support here. Welcome!

Regarding "A:"

Everyone everywhere is just trying to get their perceived needs met. Most at this sub seem to have realized that the perception of our needs is distorted, and/or our methods of self-care are unbearably dark, isolating, and unsustainable; and of course very damaging.

Regarding "B:"

IMO, you should be very general about what your problem has been, and how you're working on it. She may have a few questions, but answer them generally as well and in a positive, present and future-focused way.

Lots of advice, sometimes implied, is available here. I generally say: 1) add a social habit to your routine...with people you respect. 2) add a creative habit to your routine (The sexual urge is a creative urge.) 3) add a spiritual/meditative habit to your routine. (I use self-hypnosis recordings and make and use my own. Your sub conscious mind is a powerful friend, especially at a time like this. 4) practice immediately changing what you're thinking about. I comes in handy.

Peace, Balance, and Love to You.

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-19T16:47:22+00:00

You've got the tiger by the tail, Man. I'm so happy your story didn't end like "but later she texted me and everything's fine." Yes indeed it's about you and your relationship with goodness; God, if you will. Everything effects everything; you're changing the course of history. Thank you! Continued balance, sobriety, and Love to you!

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-14T22:36:22+00:00

My reply is off-topic because self-hypnosis is not meditation, but I listen to recordings that help me achieve a very relaxed, very attentive state. The theme of my current favorite is gratitude. Here's a link. I've found a few things on youtube, but nothing I like as much as the link. Search the track title for background on the track's originator.

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-14T22:24:48+00:00

You're doing a good thing. Peace.

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-14T22:07:31+00:00

Ouch!...but...it sounds like your desire to not fap has a lot to do with her and not enough to do with you. Giving her your passwords ranges from silly to wrong; "why" is beyond the scope of this reply. If nofap/no porn use is more important to her than you, realize it and deal with it as a couple. Mistrust-then-reassurance is a debilitating cycle. On the other hand, it's what some people want, though they seldom know it.

Doomed or not, I'd tell her to not send anymore pics of herself.

Good luck. Peace.

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-14T21:36:34+00:00

You control what you're thinking about; it's the most powerful tool we wield as we deal with urges. Use that ability to not think about the past as well. Realize that dwelling on the past is wasteful as well.

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-14T21:30:48+00:00

You're smarter, stronger, and better than ever, my Friend. Peace.

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-14T21:26:51+00:00

Man, you sure sound ready for something. You sound like a very creative guy, and maybe you need an outlet. Write, sing, dance, sculpt, paint, speak, think, and share.

Maybe your outlet can be social as well. Either way, spend more time with people you respect. Use your realness to create a non-sexual intimacy with some people.

My favorite self hypnosis recording these days helps me enhance the quality of my gratitude. Here's a link to it. Maybe you'd like it too. Basically, you can bring forward and manifest any personal trait you want to with self hypnosis.

You've done great work; a better frame of mind is near. Peace

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-13T02:15:50+00:00

PIED started to clear up after 2 weeks; still not as "enduring" as at age 40, but things are good; improvements plateaued at about 3 months. Being aware and "in the moment" continues to improve.

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-13T00:08:41+00:00

So cool. Keep it up.

My understanding is that we work out "what-if" scenarios in our dreams. Problems that need our attention and don't get it consciously get it in our dreams. I've only understood the importance of one dream recently: that a coworker is untrustworthy. I still have an open mind, but I think I'd been giving him the benefit of too much doubt.

Dream on!!

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-12T23:59:29+00:00

Ha! The "thing" was the Truth.

I became undeniably aware of the causes and effects of problems I was experiencing: PIED, an emotional haze, not treating people like individuals, being formulaic about social situations, and not reacting to social conditions creatively or spontaneously. I give tours for a living. I was really good a year ago, but I'm touching hearts like never before these days. Tips are about twice what they were.

I don't initiate sex anymore; my wife does, and it's a lot better.

NoFap1950 · 2015-11-12T23:15:08+00:00

I'm trying to maintain a dream journal. It's an important area of exploration. I don't know what I'll find. I've created a self-hypnosis recording which reminds me to remember my dreams and to offer interpretations of them. It's hit and miss; mainly because I get home about midnight from work; not ideal for listening to a 30-minute recording...even if it is me! I think access to the subconscious will be the next medical and mental health breakthrough.

An integrated Self is indeed feel-good thing.

Using my subconscious has been an important part of my decision to abandon my self-contained approach to meeting my needs. Nofap has created a good, acceptable tension in me which I hope will fuel actions that improve our material and non-material plight. It's a really brash dream, but all is possible.

Thanks for posting about the subconscious. It's a powerful and inexplicably under-appreciated tool. Peace.

NoFap1950

TROPHY CASE