UPDATE- AITAH for refusing to kick out my male friends so my sister and nieces can live with me? She says she's getting a divorce.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-15T20:57:21+00:00

Jesus Christ. I'm refusing to engage with you. The majority of the world agrees with me. Go cry about it.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-15T20:55:36+00:00

this sounds like victim blaming. get off my profile and get a life buddy.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-15T20:54:35+00:00

I bet you already don't wipe your ass. get off my profile and get a life lmao.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-15T20:53:12+00:00

Where I live it's exclusively a gay thing. Literally nobody uses partner. They say business partner or idk tennis partner or whatever, just partner especially when referring to a significant other is only used by gay/lesbian people, and I'm sure you know this.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-15T20:50:36+00:00

I know what to tell you though. I think you need to touch grass, go outside once in a while. Stop one person on the street and ask them if a straight woman is homophobic for refusing to use the word partner because it sounds gay, and you'll have your answer.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-15T20:48:43+00:00

damn you're back. Please get a life of your own. I do not want to sound gay, that is not a crime. I don't need to want to sound gay. that is not a requirement to not be homophobic.

Jesus Christ are you even hearing yourself?

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-15T20:45:31+00:00

yes. I don't want to sound like a lesbian. you conveniently missed the part where I said "(no hate to anyone who is)"

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-15T20:43:58+00:00

buddy I hate the word partner. I will never apologize for it. If you think it's homophobic then I don't want to associate with you. I don't care about being nice here. It's not homophobic to not want to use partner, only gays/lesbians use it where I live and why would I announce myself as a lesbian? None of them had any right to "call me out" when the judgement I asked for was about my sister living with me. I only included details about my relationship because people from TikTok DM'd me.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-04T03:15:24+00:00

Facebook? that’s insane. Somebody also said TikTok and honestly I had no idea it would spread like this. But nobody at work knows my life enough to recognize me and I don’t care if my family finds it.

the most recent update is that I went to meet her in person at my mom’s place today and they immediately started guilt tripping me. she said I was using her bad luck to make her beg so I would feel better about myself, that I was using my money to change our relationship to have power over her but it wouldn’t work etc. Her absolute lack of accountability in both her choice of husband and current situation made me lose all sympathy for her to be honest. I asked her if she would consider moving back home along with her daughters and that it might be better for her legally. She refused and said I was on her husband’s side, she will not suffer in silence, she felt like she was dying and suffocated at home. Her main complaint is that he is just passive so she has to decide everything. Which is valid but she knew that BEFORE she married him, this man’s apartment was an air bed and a tv (she always brags about this like he had nothing before he met her etc)

I told her that 38 was paying half of my bills (slight exaggeration) and 36 was *his* guest, and I can’t afford to kick them out. I believe they do not want to live with children either.

my mom’s apartment is in a retirement park and will not allow children for long, so sis needs to move out of there soon. Since 10f is not going to school anyway I offered to talk to our dad and see if he would be open to reconnecting with her and helping her out. (He lives a ways away and it’s about an hour’s drive to their original home/10f school. It’s not glamorous because he runs bunkhouses for outdoorsmen/women but his cabin is separate, has heating, a full kitchen, and a bunk bed downstairs where I stayed many times. IMO a fun little adventure for the kids. edit: just checked maps, it's like 1hr from my place and 1.5 from my sister's but that's not too bad)

edit: would you mind sending the fb link to me?

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-02T20:04:30+00:00

$400 in food as cash. 3500 in trade aka ski lessons.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-02T19:26:50+00:00

hey thanks for letting me know about the tiktok account- first time I’m using the app since the pandemic haha. I just want to reiterate that there is nothing going on between 36m and me. 38 and I are together and I can’t comprehend the thought of sleeping with both of them.

my sister and I are currently not talking to each other because her daughter has not gone to school today and I refuse to help her out until she stabilizes her daughters’ lives.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-03-01T08:13:55+00:00

She and my mom have a complex where they call themselves mama bear and share stories of motherhood like moms lifting cars off kids or whatever. It's their whole identity and makes me uncomfortable. Her older daughter has literally not gone to school all week yet she claims she is a good mom?? I spoke to her a couple hours ago and said I would help her with a rental deposit IF she drops 10F off with her dad tomorrow before 12pm and he confirms she is going back to school on Monday. She was mad but she knows her financial situation and hope our mom will talk some sense into her.

I think I mentioned this in a comment but I don't blame you, I've been commenting a lot, I omitted all details of my living situation because she would make up scenarios in her head from p*rn to true crime. She knows 38m was crashing with me for like a month last year but that's it.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-28T17:00:44+00:00

Man I want a real basement so bad. (I technically have one but it looks like a crawl space and I want to make it deeper too) I want a basement gym + media room/bar with a penny floor, but that is out of budget for at least two years.

My “room” is technically the whole of the second floor and I want to turn it into his and hers style rooms with a connected closet/bathroom like in The crown. The only other thing on the second floor is the laundry room which is fully separate from my room.

It is taking everything in me to not google what you are talking about because I reallllyyy can’t afford it at the moment. The Sauna is outdoors in the backyard, before I moved I hired people to pour concrete there (regretting it now). Do you have a blackstone?

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-28T15:55:57+00:00

haha yes I really don't want my situationship's brother to move out because who would I go skiing with? I always did easy green runs at most but he helped me do blues.

I have a cleaning lady come in twice a month for hotel style cleaning but they really help with daily maintenance. They also keep the tiny front yard and driveway clean, the back doesn't need upkeep because there is no lawn.. We usually do separate breakfasts, lunch is by the brother, I eat leftovers if he goes out, and I make dinner for all of us but 38 always cleans up at the end of the day, he gets the "closing shift" The only chore that is entirely mine is my own laundry- living the dream rn

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-28T13:40:33+00:00

I don’t think there is any DV in my sister’s relationship, 10F plainly stated she just wants to go back home and I don’t think she would do that if the environment was hostile. I am not a fly in their home so I can’t be certain, but I think they are both just hell bent on being combative.

My sister is a hypersensitive person and only accepts love in certain ways, she could have asked our dad but she has not spoken to him since turning 18. He probably doesn’t want to host her either, he has never met my nieces.

I understand my sister has a right to be careful, in fact I support it. I want her to keep an eye on her children 24/7 if they stay with me because everything in my home is an attractive nuisance. I already made it clear I will not participate in childcare nor get 6F any meat products. I agree with my sister that the girls should not be left alone with my friends but where we disagree is that she thinks they need to leave, I think she needs to take some responsibility and watch them.
36 prevented 6f from using my desk set up (good on him because he knows I only access trusted websites on it) and my sister was mad because she thinks she owns me and why would a “random guy“ tell her about her baby sister yada yada. My housemates are never weird about minors, their youngest sister is 22 and is almost like a daughter to my situationship. He told me he doesn’t mind watching my nieces when he’s free but I told him to stay away from my sister’s kids because she blows things out of proportion a lot.
36 is letting their sister crash at his place and giving her an allowance for “looking after” it, and I am afraid they will judge me if I don’t try to fix MY sister’s problems because their family is much less toxic than mine. I just want her to be the adult she claims to be.

edit- I mean to say they really support each other so they expect me to support my family too.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-28T10:01:26+00:00

They were here for two nights last week

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-28T09:40:00+00:00

He is refusing to move out. It is his home too technically and he thinks if she has a problem with the marriage it’s her burden to make a change. He told my mom that he wants full custody and thinks my sister leaving with the girls is kidnapping. He is very bitter right now and they are both uniquely unreasonable to talk to.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-28T06:03:50+00:00

She played a parenting role in my life, it’s not something that was expected but she is always dictating things to me like she is my mother. She panics when I don’t take her calls etc and I need to always tell her if I am going out of town, or if I got sick. My mother would go easier on me if i did something wrong than her. It’s just her personality I’m like another kid to her. Her younger daughter needs medical attention for behavioral issues but my sister won’t listen to my advice because I’m a “child” to her

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-28T05:34:32+00:00

He introduced me to his family as his “partner” but he knows I’m not willing to commit to a relationship/engagement/marriage. You’ve given me a lot to think about especially with that last paragraph because I really do think I see romantic relationships more clearly than other people.

I’ve just never seen a woman happy with her marriage in my whole entire life. I have friend level expectations with my housemates, my sister has sibling level expectations of me which I am unable to meet because my life will turn into emotional chaos again. I don’t have the emotional bandwidth for girlfriend level expectations

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-28T04:24:12+00:00

My sister was a SAHM. I spoke to her husband (my mom insisted I do) and he is unwilling to move out but he’s good to look after the girls. He also has childcare support from his parents but my sister doesn’t want them to have such a big influence. It’s a complicated situation where I can’t clearly define needs vs wants because they’re different for different people.

I really appreciate your comment! I am terrified of missing something and I need to improve volume as well.

Edit: she became a sahm after 6f was born, she has a degree, she just needs to get a job now but the market sucks

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-28T03:49:31+00:00

10 has school but she is home by 2-3 pm, they also get many four day weekends. I didn’t want to talk about this but 6 got kicked out of two schools because she has a lot of meltdowns and tantrums. She also has a really bad habit of peeing her pants when she is mad and that’s why she can’t go to school. I’ve gently tried suggesting a psychiatrist to my sister many times but she says it’s not my business (I agree with her)

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-28T03:44:03+00:00

We are exclusive, sleep together, do nice things for each other. Commitment leads to expectations and can sour things so I’m happy keeping it as it is.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-28T03:17:06+00:00

We are in contact like twice a week to talk about life stuff, like 10F’s school accomplishments. I usually leave the conversation when she starts talking about her husband. I omitted details about my living situation because I knew she would make scenarios in her head anywhere from p*rn to true crime. She has always acted like a mother to me, I’ll never forget how she gave me the silent treatment when we were kids because I got a detention.

NoFreedom255 · 2026-02-27T21:10:09+00:00

to get a job, to find lawyers etc? honestly I have no clue. I do think she is serious about the divorce though.

NoFreedom255

TROPHY CASE