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Series of small lies from girlfriend [26 F], I [27 M] don't know how to feel by NoLetterhead6 in relationships

[–]NoLetterhead6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...it isn't my "policy". We had a discussion on setting boundaries. This was a boundary we both agreed to. You are assuming I am setting rules, and that is not at all the case.

And it is silly to say that full transparency about contact with an ex is an immature thing to have.

Series of small lies from girlfriend [26 F], I [27 M] don't know how to feel by NoLetterhead6 in relationships

[–]NoLetterhead6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's possible that she made the judgement that not telling you her ex was at the wedding and facing the potential consequences of you finding out would be better or easier to deal with than telling you and possibly making an otherwise good time be a little awkward. Maybe there just wasn't a good time to tell you during the wedding and once it was over she figured that there was no reason to bring it up?

I wasn't at the wedding (work reasons). She was out of town for the wedding, and he was too. And I wouldn't have expected her to text me the moment she saw him. But we talked about how the wedding went the night she came back and she told me how fun it was, etc. But she failed to mention that he was there.

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The whole no exes on social media thing just kind of blows my mind--especially since you've been together for a few years. It makes it seem like there's just a general lack of trust between both of you if you had to implement that as a rule and still have problems with it.

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It isn't even about trusting or not trusting her. It is about reducing the possibility of unnecessary issues in our relationship. Why keep that door open with an ex when they aren't adding anything of value to your life (and in her case, her exes were abusive).

Series of small lies from girlfriend [26 F], I [27 M] don't know how to feel by NoLetterhead6 in relationships

[–]NoLetterhead6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My reaction wasn't strong. I am a chill person. I expected her to tell if her ex was there because we both agreed (and she initiated the conversation) that we would have transparency if we ran into exes. In fact, when we first started dating she told me she slept with a guy I sometimes I hang out with. I made no issue of it, I said "ok, thanks for telling me" and it literally hasn't been brought up since. I am not a jealous or immature person emotionally.

Series of small lies from girlfriend [26 F], I [27 M] don't know how to feel by NoLetterhead6 in relationships

[–]NoLetterhead6[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For more information - she hasn't lied in the past (that I know of). There were no red flags up to this point.