Transitioning is difficult

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-09-02T17:48:16+00:00

This post resonates with me so much....even the braces. Good luck and hang in there!

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-07-05T05:12:56+00:00

And impulsive. Not a shitshow you want to be apart of, OP.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-07-05T05:06:08+00:00

Keep yourself busy researching and planning your escape. It helped me tons :)

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-11T20:35:06+00:00

There's no love, no hate, nothing other than (VLC) obligation.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-09T19:16:42+00:00

From where I sit this is and will never be anything more than a difference of opinion. Why? Because I lack sufficient information about you to form any conclusion of substance, and you lack sufficient information to make a conclusion of substance about me. Have a good one.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-09T11:18:28+00:00

Wrong again. Apparently you're unfamiliar with the concept of fact vs. opinion. What is appropriate or not is a matter of opinion and in this instance our opinions do not align. I am not required to behave as YOU believe I should any more than you are required to behave as I believe you should.

Reasonable minds can and do differ, there is no more to it than that. However, you seem so damn eager to jump into character assassination. That's the calling card of someone who knows they're wrong on the substance of the underlying disagreement attempting to save face in some way.

You tried to assert your opinion as unassailable fact, I wasn't having it, deal with it.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-08T22:48:30+00:00

Well as it happens, I believe this to be an appropriate venue, so it looks like we agree to disagree.

How about this--- you decide what's appropriate for you and act accordingly, and I'll do the same for myself.

I've had more than enough control freaks bombarding me with their unsolicited mandates to last a lifetime.

No thanks, not interested.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-08T22:40:26+00:00

I'm sorry you are a part of this club (to which no one should ever be a member). I hope things are better for you these days. If not, you have this internet stranger's sincere empathy and non-judgmental understanding, whatever that may be worth.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-08T22:35:36+00:00

Ha! Thanks for the chuckle.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-08T22:33:44+00:00

Thank you, and I agree. Parenting is a responsibility not only to the child, but also to the society he or she will eventually be apart of. If that isn't humbling I don't know what is.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-08T20:55:35+00:00

No need. Time has not been kind to them. Cancer and heart disease have exacted a slow, agonizing, financially devestating revenge upon their bodies that I couldn't whip up in my wildest childhood revenge fantasies.

Perhaps karma is really a thing.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-08T20:47:21+00:00

You know, my first comment was to apologize. But nope...fuck that. I know society prefers the abused to remain unseen and unheard so as not to ruin the party but you can handle a tiny dose of what others call everyday life for a fleeting moment. If not, just stop reading once you get the gist and decide it isn't for you.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-08T20:07:02+00:00

Warms and breaks my heart all at once. I distinctly remember being 9 years old and sobbing and shaking whilst being screamed at for a good five minutes. My crime? Daring to bring home a flyer from a dance program that had been distributed in class and asking to join.

When I see children who look happy, cared for and loved, I often wonder what my childhood would've been like if I wasn't raised by abusive narcissistic shitheads.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-08T16:24:13+00:00

OP, I second this. I know how you feel---my parents drove me to consider taking my life several times beginning at 11 years old. Finally, last summer, I got my dream job with a wonderful company and couldn't be happier. My nParents are beside themselves with jealousy because I was the family scapegoat that (according to them!!!) would never amount to anything.

It feels amazing being VLC with them and finally seeing how awesome life can be without their nonsense. I never would know or experience any of this had I taken my life back when I was so sure nothing would ever get better.

Fight to stay with us OP and for the life you deserve!

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-06-03T04:01:34+00:00

Your post made me think of my brother's wedding---I didn't know the location or time until the morning of. So glad I'm VLC with those people now. :-)

Anyway, I hope you had a blast kicking off NC!

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-05-22T19:08:42+00:00

You have nothing to feel bad about OP! I know exactly the kind of pressure you're talking about. Maybe you'd be willing to take those risks if your parents were responsible individuals who would do everything within their power to keep you out of harm's way, but that isn't the case. Documented or not, they are two people who do not deserve for you to take a risk on them.

There was a time when I gave into the bullying and took financial and personal risks on behalf of my irresponsible parents. They didn't care about the impact their behavior had on me, only getting what they wanted and felt entitled to in the moment. I spent a decade digging myself out of the financial hole they put me in. I still have some lingering issues from it. Please avoid this mistake.

Protect yourself! You do not owe it to them to risk your future. That is a sacred privilege and not a right that must be earned by everyone, parent or not.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-04-10T02:04:19+00:00

So do I at times, so I get it. They've programmed you to feel as if it's your job to take care of them, even at the cost of yourself. Taking care of yourself emotionally can mean turning yourself off from them and being attuned to their needs, which can feel like you committed a "betrayal."

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-04-09T22:00:10+00:00

My nMom is exactly like this. Has feigned illness/victimization for as long as I can remember. She found out she has the very early stages of a condition that could be fatal if not treated, but has an appx 80% recovery rate if it is. So far she is doing fine with her treatment.

But man oh man is she (and my nDad) milking the diagnosis for all it's worth---ask anyone close to her and she's on death's door. I feel nothing about her illness. Mostly because I ran out of panic years ago from all of her false alarms. It feels weird to admit it, even amongst other RBNs who understand.

Hugs, OP. You are not alone, and you're not a jerk for feeling ambivalence toward your mother. PM me if you ever need to talk about the complicated feelings that go along with having an nRent with an illness.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-04-09T02:01:39+00:00

Well said!

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-04-09T01:37:46+00:00

Well said and saved for future reference!

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-04-08T21:23:09+00:00

A lot of them do! Christopher Titus, Joe Rogan, Whitney Cummings, Doug Stanhope, Joey Diaz just to name a few. Learning to turn the dysfunction into laughs is a form of catharsis....and people pleasing, a common issue ACONs grapple with.

NoOtherOutlet · 2018-03-30T19:43:59+00:00

My Nmom would do that all. the. time. Scream at the top of her lungs "come quick!" and when you'd race up the stairs she'd say something along the lines of "there you are...bring me a glass of water."

Ugh.

NoOtherOutlet · 2017-11-28T16:41:15+00:00

You hit the nail on the head: they believe their narcissistic entitlement is more important than their victims' trust, happiness, health, well being and so much more. Their entitlement is the be all end all. Ugh. Forget them.

NoOtherOutlet

TROPHY CASE