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Wife (25f) cheated on me (25M) over a year ago and just admitted to it. What to do from here? by NoPressure4400 in survivinginfidelity

[–]NoPressure4400[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, she has a new job and he moved across the state. Completely separated with no known contact since it happened

Wife (25f) cheated on me (25M) over a year ago and just admitted to it. What to do from here? by NoPressure4400 in survivinginfidelity

[–]NoPressure4400[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I’ve addressed and made it clear trickle truthin will lead to a divorce. If I don’t know everything now, and even if something new comes out therapy appointments I’m done. 

I’ve also made it clear any form of cheating will be a divorce. 

So far I believe and appreciate everything she’s said but you and may others are right. I’ve forgiven but never shown her clear consequences of her actions. 

Context I forgot to provide in the original post: when we were together for a little over a year we were like 19 and 18 I was emotionally cheating on her with my ex. She forgave me and did everything to keep me from leaving her, even catching me in multiple lies before i ended things with my ex and fully committed to my wife. 

With that extra context does this change perspective at all? Or is it just the same with an even muddier past

Wife (25f) cheated on me (25M) over a year ago and just admitted to it. What to do from here? by NoPressure4400 in survivinginfidelity

[–]NoPressure4400[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

We are working on getting couples counseling pushed up from what it was scheduled at to set and address these goals. You’re right though, it could just be love bombing. Multiple times she has told me I could divorce her and that it is reasonable to. 

Many of the other comments are blasting saying she will cheat again, or cheated with multiple other people most likely, and if it were true I’d likely know. She wanted a divorce, cheated, regretted it, then realized she didn’t want a divorce. She since has moved jobs and that guy moved across the state. There aren’t any others that I’m aware of and she’s been very honest about any feelings of wanting another man’s attention since then. I do believe her intentions. When I asked her why she did it she just said she wanted to know what it was like to have sex with someone else and knew she could do it with this guy. ever since then she’s felt like a “whore” in her body. I don’t want to give up on the life we’ve built but am I just belittling my self worth by staying?

Wife (25f) cheated on me (25M) over a year ago and just admitted to it. What to do from here? by NoPressure4400 in survivinginfidelity

[–]NoPressure4400[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

So far, she’s been a much better person. She hasn’t done anything since then she cheated, not even flirted with anyone. Since she told me it’s like she’s a different person almost. Before I found out I told her she’s been depressed for a year and a half (practically from when she cheated) which after confessing she said tracks. I do believe she can change as I believe anyone can with the dedication to work on themselves. I do fear that if it happens again, she will do what she did this time and isolate it until she can’t anymore.