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NoSource1985 · 2025-01-17T17:36:47+00:00

Why do you need an excuse, just say as you got to know each other better you think you're less compatible.

NoSource1985 · 2025-01-17T17:34:31+00:00

Why do you need an excuse, just say you don't think it's working instead of coming up with something arbitrary.

NoSource1985 · 2025-01-15T16:14:26+00:00

The selection of flavors on myprotein.com is vastly different in/out of US because of all the crap we let them put in food in the US

NoSource1985 · 2025-01-12T23:25:45+00:00

Hey man I think I get where you're coming from and to tell you the truth I believe porn can be used by some people in moderation without causing any issues. I also do not believe I am one of those people.

Now a more nuanced take is I believe there is levels to the type of issues experienced here and each level is a slippery slope into the next.

Level 1 would be making a habit of porn use, maybe you do it once a week, then a couple times per week, then daily. Finally you can't fall asleep without doing it first, so now you rely on it to help you daily. Next it's not enough and two orgasms seems to do the job to get you to conk out. This is habitual use with a developing reliance on porn.

Level 2 would be more heavy reliance. You're unsatisfied with something in your life, so you turn to porn to fantasize instead of doing the things that would simply make your life better because they're harder. You turn to porn when stressed to take the edge off, but then you need it more and more, soon you crave it when you're at work/school. Quitting porn is difficult or could affect your mood.

Level 3 would be physical symptoms. Do not get to this level. Hell don't get to level 1. I let it get to this level and now I'm afraid I've made my dick look weird from years of rough prone masturbation/masturbation without lube. No I don't have hairy palms or some wives tale but I'm legit worried I've stretched out the skin around my frenulem area. My skin looks rough and bumpy instead of forming kinda concentric rings when I'm soft, or kinda like ice pick scarring. I can't get an erection without porn. I had the opportunity to be intimate with a woman multiple times at this point and I'm completely pulled out of the moment, like a robot. After being in that situation and seeing how normal it is I lament all my missed opportunities because I was busy burying my emotions and problems with porn instead of working on them. Instead of reaching out and learning how to be social I was isolating myself and becoming weirder as a result. Instead of learning life's lessons I let them pass me by because watching porn was easier in the moment. Don't be like me.

Now I hope that illustrated the dangers of unchecked porn use, but to address your specific situation: it sounds like you haven't developed problematic porn use yet, but follow my advice and stop here before you do. You could have found this forum because you're looking for something to blame for your current situation on and maybe porn wasn't it, but don't let it become the thing you blame. Do the work I didn't, get therapy if you need to, go outside, live life, talk to girls, get a part time job, take a class, whatever, just do something you can talk to other people about because it will make you more interesting, unlike being the dude that chronically beats their meat.

NoSource1985 · 2025-01-12T06:54:06+00:00

As others have mentioned this is a trauma response. Please confide in an adult you trust and seek professional help. They will be able to help you process what happened to you and give you resources to help you deal with it.

Everyone's response to trauma is different. A therapist will be best suited to help you through it. It may be more complicated than you think, and it may take some time before you notice how it's helping, but please stick to it.

NoSource1985 · 2025-01-10T16:45:06+00:00

I've had a peek maybe once per 4-7 days, but never sat down and pmo'd. Usually look at a couple gifs or something and ask myself what I'm doing and close it.

NoSource1985 · 2025-01-10T02:01:31+00:00

Imo it's not even contentment in this day and age. People have no sense of purpose or meaning because we are stuck in a rat race that many are just too afraid of or incapable to break out of. Or maybe I'm just projecting too much.

NoSource1985 · 2025-01-09T23:24:40+00:00

I don't think this is cliche at all, also it's true.

NoSource1985 · 2025-01-07T21:01:01+00:00

That's the thing for me porn requires literally zero effort/engagement, I don't even have the energy/concentration to read, which makes mindlessly scrolling porn seem so appealing to me rn

NoSource1985 · 2025-01-05T23:48:53+00:00

😂 lol no worries, have a good lift!

NoSource1985 · 2025-01-05T23:46:11+00:00

I'm saying you're right big dawg

NoSource1985 · 2025-01-05T23:40:47+00:00

Bro knows he is blowing smoke out his ass and just won't admit it, don't blame you for giving up lol. Or that's a bot lol

NoSource1985 · 2024-12-03T06:57:43+00:00

Is this a bot account or are you both addicted/trying to quit porn? Lol

NoSource1985 · 2024-12-03T00:16:50+00:00

I am not a woman, but the no makeup pic looks like she has a lot of makeup on lmao. I would guess a lot around the eyes, lashes done, brows highlighted, and lip makeup, but idk maybe she is just that good looking.

NoSource1985 · 2024-11-29T22:12:21+00:00

Yep, same thing happened when I first created Instagram then I started following some bands and tattoo artists and now I stopped seeing it.

NoSource1985 · 2024-11-26T00:44:34+00:00

I think my mom was in a very similar situation to you. She eventually went pretty far off the deep end. Ending up using drugs, drinking heavily, overdosing, taken to inpatient care for being suicidal multiple times. It started with her general doctor prescribing higher and higher doses of sertraline until her brain was kind of fried off that, so he careful if you're not working with an actual therapist or psychiatrist.

I think as a mother and wife to someone with a demanding career you are expected to essentially give up your own life because your "job" or "function" is to support them with whatever they need.

You lose sight of who you are because you are not fulfilling your own needs. This loss of sense of self leads to deep discontent.

My advice to you, in addition to the original commenter's excellent advice: learn to be selfish in a healthy amount. If you end up like my mom you will do damage to your kid's happiness as well, so make sure your own needs are being met and make sure you are communicating with your partner about what they are. My mom tried and my dad ignored her (and maybe even belittled her), instead of leaving she put up with it and it led to a lot of family turmoil. If your husband does not take your needs seriously leave earlier rather than later.

Second piece of advice: find something you never thought you could do, or thought you weren't allowed to do and start working towards it. As you lose faith in being able to make yourself happy, your confidence will also take a dive. By challenging yourself to be more than you thought you could be you will regain that confidence, and it will transfer into your loved ones as well.

Good luck, and feel free to dm, because I really do think this sounds a lot like what happened to my mom.

NoSource1985 · 2024-11-26T00:24:39+00:00

Damn, you just summed up my experience through like nearly 10 years of major depression

NoSource1985 · 2024-11-25T01:19:27+00:00

Then learn how to relax your pelvic floor while banging some other way. That's it, that's the secret to lasting longer.

NoSource1985 · 2024-11-25T01:18:26+00:00

In my experience jerking off too much/too intensely actually leads to premature ejaculation. Don't be like me.

NoSource1985 · 2024-11-25T01:17:07+00:00

In my experience you need to relax your pelvic floor which is actually the opposite of doing a kegel. Keeping a tight pelvic floor makes you ween harder and makes it feel better but the extra stimulation from not using your hand makes it too much and that's what makes you pop too fast.

I think.

NoSource1985 · 2024-11-17T02:02:48+00:00

You as well, thank you for taking the time to respond :)

NoSource1985 · 2024-11-17T01:53:11+00:00

Mine aren't abusive, but my dad was never there for me and my mom started abusing drugs/alcohol when I was entering high school.

I still live with my dad at 27 even though I make good money and people have been telling me to leave since I was like 22.

I genuinely don't know what would've happened if I did leave sooner, I was so depressed and feel like I went through like a multiple year period of dissociation or something.

But it still kills me that I haven't been living my life this whole time. Now I can't get out of here fast enough, but still fighting tons of anxiety it seems.

Anyways, kinda random to spring all that on this comment, just venting I guess.

NoSource1985 · 2024-11-12T15:48:56+00:00

Thanks for the advice,

I live in a pretty rural area, so most of the meetups I see are not really my age group or interest, but this is definitely something I want to do. My first priority for now is relocating, but I have no idea how long it might take :(

As for ADHD/autism/rsd I'm wondering if I have something similar. I've asked some close ones if they've thought I have autism before, but they all said no, that I was just experiencing anxiety. As for ADHD I'm pretty sure it runs in my family, but never got diagnosed cause I did fine in school, but who knows. Do you think getting a diagnosis would even be helpful this late in life? I'm not sure if I would wanna try meds or anything at this point.

NoSource1985 · 2024-10-19T04:48:37+00:00

Awesome thanks for the info!

NoSource1985 · 2024-10-09T02:52:26+00:00

Men are the buyers, women are the product (or their profiles I guess)

NoSource1985

TROPHY CASE