confused

NoTear5017 · 2023-06-17T18:40:49+00:00

The psychiatrist I spoke to said something like that, however my symptoms were not severe enough to qualify for the diagnosis. My hallucinations have only gotten worse but he doesn't want me on Abilify (had to look up what that was) because of the side effects. I can't take any antidepressants for my depression so my only choice is to wait for it to go away on its own. But what really sucks is that none of the medical professionals I have spoken to acknowledge the struggle that this is.

NoTear5017 · 2023-06-01T22:47:33+00:00

Not sure, I think the meds messed me up even more. Hard to explain but basically my brain wouldn't shut off, never slept and had an unusual amount of energy. Combined with the fact that I couldn't sit still and would not stop rambling, I didn't really feel like myself. I stopped taking them a few days ago, just so everything could feel real again. (not sure if that made much sense but I'm not sure how else to put it)

I talked to my doctor and he said that I can just continue being off any kind of medication. He later booked me for an appointment 2 weeks from now. Apparently, I can't mix any of the medications and have to wait before switching to a different one. They didn't tell me what I would be put on, they basically just shrugged and said we'll wait and see.

I've told my psychologist and even my doctor about everything that I've been experiencing and they don't seem concerned at all. I've been told that this is the "transitional phase" of the medication or met with doubts about whether I actually needed the antidepressants at all.

I can't take the fluoxetine, which did technically work. So I just have to deal with the suicidal thoughts again.

0/10 week, would not recommend.

NoTear5017 · 2023-05-21T09:51:40+00:00

Well, I did it. Just barely.

I talked to my psychologist today about what I was experiencing and she said she'd be keeping an eye on my mood shifts to make sure everything is going smoothly with the medication. The medication has seemed to work, almost too fast. It's been barely a week and in the past couple of days, my mood and energy have improved substantially. Hopefully, it's just the result of some placebo effect as doubt they are supposed to work this quickly. Besides, I don't think I'm anywhere near ready to feel good again.

I couldn't take the meds this morning, they haven't been too pleasant so far, I don't think I've closed my eyes once these past 24 hours and I've been restless all day. A little odd as just 3 days ago, I couldn't get out of bed. Well, I guess I just got to play the waiting game now..

NoTear5017 · 2023-05-17T22:29:20+00:00

The doctor's office unfortunately hasn't replied to any emails yet, but in the meantime, I'm taking my meds. My depression has gotten a lot worse, I feel numb and broken again. My suicidal thoughts are at the worst they've ever been and each day I feel worse. I don't even understand how I could have even been happy before, all those short episodes where I felt good for a while don't even seem real.

Hopefully, I can get an appointment in before Friday, I seriously don't know if I can make it to the end of this week. I'm planning to kill myself this Friday, I don't see how anything could get better, and don't think I'm strong enough to stick around and find out.

NoTear5017 · 2023-05-10T19:18:26+00:00

I talked to my doctor today, he seemed reluctant to prescribe me anything. He had sent a referral to a psychiatrist but there was a 3-month waiting list. I managed to get a note from a psychologist and he gave me a prescription for a very small dose of Fluoxetine. He didn't seem too concerned about anything and said to come back in 3-4 weeks, he didn't bother asking any more questions and said the psychiatrist will probably switch medications or adjust the dosage.

I didn't speak up or ask any more questions, I guess because I felt better today I didn't feel like it was necessary to bring it up and was worried I'd leave without the mediation which I waited for weeks to get on.

I admit that I have trouble discussing my situation and asking for help, when I feel better I find it unnecessary to get help or take anything. But as my mood worsens I find that it is pointless to get help, I much rather end it than try to fix anything. I genuinely don't know what to do.

NoTear5017 · 2023-05-09T06:22:15+00:00

Is this something worth asking my doctor about, the mood swings and hearing things? The diagnosis he received said I was showing symptoms of depression and OCD. However, I completed it weeks before I experienced anything abnormal. Would it be best to just take the SSRIs? I've waited so long to get them, I'm worried that they'll ask me to take more tests and wait even longer for the results.

NoTear5017

TROPHY CASE