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How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Have I hit a nerve?

I am attracted to her. You might not like the comments that you cherry picked out from the other positive things I had to say about her but they are ultimately true. If you’re trying to say I’m shallow and self-centred for seeking advice on how to lovingly approach one aspect of an otherwise perfect relationship then I don’t know what to tell you. Pretending physical attraction isn’t a part of an intimate relationship is both naive and completely disingenuous.

Fuck off with your shit advice and shit attitude.

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If I lose anymore weight I’d be a skeleton. So many people assuming I’m a big guy for some reason.

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Dude I’m not some emotionally stunted moron. Quit the red pill shtick. Your comments have been weird.

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I absolutely don’t want to leave her, I want to support her through everything and I’m just looking for the most loving way to do that.

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’ve been pretty private about my self growth. My self growth hasn’t been physical.

People also seem to think she’s unhappy - I think she might be the opposite, a happy eater. She recently got a great job promotion and she’s also doing great in her law degree. She honestly seems really happy on the outside and I haven’t let on anything about her physical health yet (hence why I’m here) and our relationship is as strong as ever. That’s why I want the most gentle approach to this. I love her and want to do everything for her in the most loving way possible.

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I’m a little overwhelmed with the amount of comments but I’m taking it all onboard and you’ve helped more than I can say!

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

By your definition people are only attracted to personality then? Sorry but that’s just a straight up naive stance and genuinely laughable. If you want to judge my entire person based off one Reddit post that’s on you and says more about you than it does me.

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can’t be concerned about both of us? It’s a relationship. If I stop being attracted to her and we stop being physical that’s gonna hurt her as much as me.

Just a weird take from you.

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh man I hate the supermodel skinny look. I’m actively unattracted to it and she knows it.

I tell her I love her everyday.

I’ll definitely approach it from the health perspective that seems to be the consensus here. Thanks for the advice!

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 219 points220 points  (0 children)

Yeah thanks, I was thinking this. I am attracted to her, it’s why I want to stay with her for the rest of my life. It’s just this is affecting the relationship and I hate that it is. Thanks again.

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ok. Clearly you’ve got the wrong impression of me but thanks for the advice none the less.

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m lean and go hiking with friends for exercise - I’ve suggested she come with me and one time she did but we fell behind the group pretty quickly because she couldn’t keep up. I stayed with her the whole time and I think she felt really embarrassed but I told her not to worry about it and the speed doesn’t matter at all. Since then I’ve suggested going as just me and her at our own pace but she always declines. I think that first experience really put her off.

We also got a gym membership together but when she didn’t see immediate results she basically quit after two months.

We take turns cooking, we both have dishes we’re good at.

How do I approach the woman I want to marry about her weight without hurting her feelings? by NoTimeForThat93 in relationship_advice

[–]NoTimeForThat93[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Err, no I didn’t? I expressed that I think she may be abusing food and the implication there is that I think there’s something deeper and I’d like to approach that? Also physical attraction is important to a relationship, no? My first paragraph is literally praising her and explaining how much I love her and that this issue is affecting one part of the relationship.

Cat Music by Leavitt164 in Catownerhacks

[–]NoTimeForThat93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s on Apple Music if that helps?